VIDEO; un: robotman

[evilgrows]

There's some-- some easy solution to all of this, right? Surviving the cycle with your sanity intact? Something I'm overlooking? Am I too distracted?

[Dressed in a black tank top, Robotnik looks... well, stressed out, mostly. And weirdly translucent. And sweaty. Definitely moonblessing issues. His hair's a mess, his mustache isn't faring much better, and he's pacing back and forth judging by the movement of the screen. Of course, the obvious solution is staring him right in the face, but he's ignoring that right now.

He's not even sure why he's bothering with the network. He was intending to suffer in silence, get this over with, get back to what passes for normal around here. But he wants to talk to people. Since fucking when? People are the last thing he needs, ever, but especially now.

Iris, he's concluded over and over again, is indeed the worst.]

Barring the obvious, I mean. It's-- It's incredible. I thought-- I thought I could take it, thought I could handle it. Nothing stumps me like this. [He runs a hand through his hair.] Everything has been... inconclusive. Ridiculous! Inconclusive! Think about it! I can't figure it out! Me!

[He's babbling. But in his defense he's running through his first Iris cycle on the heels of having a serious fucking case of alien-mind-share-device-induced brain junk data. Shit's fucked.]

How the hell do you live like this?

[Yes, he's absolutely making way too big of a deal out of this but he doesn't care.

He'll care later, probably. He'll definitely care later. But not now.]

Comments

[evilgrows]

I guess if I intend to do something like that I might as well do a little market testing... although I prefer "you get what I make and like it." Wait, believability?

[If this guy's looking for realism rather than 'robots that definitely look like robots' he's barking up the wrong doctor,

Either way. A backward introduction indeed... but Robotnik doesn't really care that much anyway.]

Huh. Usually the nickname's shorter, [he observes.

But! Names.]

Dr. Robotnik. You can call me Dr. Robotnik.

[amant]

[ THERE IS DEFINITELY A PAUSE. ]

What kind of marketing strategy is that? You can't just rely on one product taking off... people like variety.

[ He has his own moment of ignoring questions. Shhh. ]

I thought it was clever. Francis. Frenchman.

[ God he's doing that little hand gesture thing on his end as if he's pointing to visible things, even if this is just a voice chat. BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE'S POINTING. God. What a weirdo. Not to mention, the pride. Yeesh. ]

Anyway, Doctor Robotnik, eh? [ Please France. Don't. ] Do you need someone to check you for a fever? [ He hates himself too. ] I'm kidding, I'm kidding... No, really, I am.

[ Please don't kill him. He just comes back more aggravating. ]

[evilgrows]

It's the marketing strategy of either you get my expertise, or you don't. The entrepreneurial part is mostly an afterthought.

[He lets out an exasperated groan, though. He's not so sure what's so clever about the name, it's just a pun that's far too stupid for him to really care about, probably (as if he doesn't make his own stupid jokes here and there), but ugh, bad jokes everywhere.

That shit'd probably be at least mildly amusing other other circumstances.]

Ha. Hilarious. PhD, not MD. Not that I don't at least have a working knowledge of medical things, but after five PhDs you really lose interest in scholarly pursuits. Never again.

[At least he doesn't appear to intend to kill him right now!]

when double iconing is just reiterating he's a dipshit.

[amant]

I suppose it works for Apple...

[ Again, with all the different timelines and multi-verses going on around in this damned place France isn't sure that his jab at America's pet project is even going to go acknowledged.

The exasperated groan rolls off his back like the proverbial water to duck. He's raised, and subsequently embarrassed, enough wards that he knows a well-received joke when it happens. So what if he's in denial? Maybe he's not and he's enjoying Robotnik's frustration? ]

Five PhDs? Hm... You do have the manic energy of a man that devotes most of his time to himself...

[ So matter-of-fact. ]

[evilgrows]

Please, Apple wishes they could do what I do.

[He's imagining all of those Apple-branded surveillance devices with a shit-ton of weapons and finds the thought amusing. Luckily, the small smile doesn't exactly show up on voice.]

But yeah, obviously. I'm a busy man with a lot of things to do. For me.

[And the government, but fuck 'em, he ain't dealing with them here. He can focus on his own projects! Except this place sucks. Soooooo it's not that great.]

[amant]

[ France is slowly starting to suspect that he's talking to a Bad Guy™. An eccentric one. BUT NAPOLEON HAPPENED SO WE'RE JUST GONNA KEEP TALKING. Fuck it. ]

Like what? What are your hobbies and passions besides making Apple envious? I'm always curious about what man self-appoints as their purpose.

[ Space hedgehogs, France. Catching the space hedgehogs. Really he's just hoping to hear anything that leads him away from that sinking feeling. ]

[evilgrows]

[Luckily, this is a Bad Guy™ in the early stages, who hasn't progressed to anywhere near putting his face on everything and blowing up the moon. Even though destroying Iris would be incredibly cathartic.]

Oh, laughing in the face of Steve Jobs's legacy is only a mere side-effect of my work, not the intent. It's a good one, though. But, honestly, machines are also a hobby for me. Don't they tell you to work with what you love?

[The questions are odd, sure, like anyone actually cares what he does for fun, but distracting in a good way.]

I also like music, if you must know. I know "a little bit of everything" is kind of a cliche and a cop-out, but it's actually true in my case.