prismatica | text; un: ems

Seimei.

[ She looks him over, her eyes flicking up and down his body. It's nothing weird. Or perhaps it's weirder than it should be. Emerald's semblance relies on her ability to observe the world around her, and her survival habits from the past rely on her ability to locate where a person keeps their valuables in their clothing. It's quick, so most people wouldn't notice it, and her red eyes end up back on his face as she tilts her head to gesture to a bench nearby. ]

There's a bench over there if you want.

[ She has been told not to sit on the ground enough by Akashi that she knows not to just suggest that first anymore, even if she doesn't mind. ]

I would prefer it. I’m not good with dirty things.

[ seimei offers her a vulnerability, mild as it may be. see, he’s trustworthy. he’s weird, but he’s human. ]

You’re more fashionable than I am.

[ as they walk. he hadn’t missed her looking him over, though she was plenty quick, but he treats it like she was simply judging his fashion sense. he does tend to wear the same things, or at least the same basic outfit concept. the man likes to be clothed. ]

You're not missing anything.

[ Truth be told, if he wasn't a stranger Emerald would've wanted to go somewhere indoors and clean. She's had her fill of filth and squalor for a life time, even if she's used to it. ]

I haven't had the chance to get new clothes in years back home. I like to try stuff here. I don't know about fashionable though, I just like stuff I can move in that draws people's focus where I want it.

[ That probably sounds an awful lot like she wants people to stare at her breasts. She heads to the bench and sits on one end, setting her bag on the bench between the two of them. ]

You make it hard for me. I’m trying to be modest and stay in your good graces.

[ seimei, despite sounding flirtatious on every other sentence he says, delivers this with a relatively neutral inflection. he doesn’t want her to get the wrong idea—like he really might be hiding a desire to stare at her chest.

then his smile returns, and he offers her the warm box. ]

Are you hungry? It’s got everything you asked for.

I don't care if you look as long as you aren't gross about it or expect anything.

[ If people are focused on her curves they're not focused on what her hands are doing, after all.

She takes the pizza box though and opens it up slowly, peeking in at first. ]

Nowhere near hungry, but I'll eat.

[ Despite herself, she hasn't been eating as much lately. She thinks on it for a moment, then decides that's probably something this weirdo would find interesting. She takes a slice out of the box, but before taking a bite, she shares: ]

Humans can survive for about a month and a half without food before you actually start dying of starvation, you know. As long as you have clean water.

[ that is such a fun fact. emerald’s judgment is right, and his ears perk up in interest at her somewhat macabre observation. he will only contribute to it, of course, since this is nothing if not delightful conversation over lunch. ]

Really, that long?

[ he cocks his head, as if inviting her to tell him more. ]

Humans are so resilient to everything except one another.

Yeah. Obviously it isn't comfortable.

[ She takes a bite of the pizza. This is all personal experience for her, not some scientific tidbit she read out of a creepy news article or something. He seems really interested though, so she decides to keep talking about it. It's not something she's ever really talked about in detail, since no one's ever wanted to know. but he likes morbid stuff, clearly. The fact that she has food right now makes it a lot easier to talk about anyway. ]

The first week is the worst. Your body still remembers what it's like to feel full. Your mind constantly thinks about food, since it knows that's what it needs to work right. Your stomach hurts all the time, your sense of smell gets stronger since you starve craving and needing food. You can smell what people ate on them hours after they finished it. It becomes an obsession, and one you can't just distract yourself from or drink out of existence. After about a week though, it stops hurting. Your body's giving up on trying to get what it needs. You stop registering that something's wrong on a physical level, but since that's when things actually start to go wrong.

[ She pulls her knees up to her chest on the bench so she can balance the box on top of them while she eats, but she keeps her eyes on Seimei, as if trying to gauge what he's thinking. ]

[ yes, seimei loves this.

she speaks as if she has experience, and based on everything else he knows about her, she probably does. although the topic itself, and seimei encouraging her to speak, is inherently tactless, he won’t make her talk about it from a personal standpoint unless she offers it first. ]

I’ve heard a little bit about this part. Your body starts attacking itself, in a sense. Your muscles start to degenerate because your body is pulling everything it can from anywhere it can reach.

[ he raises his eyebrows. ]

Am I right? Or is that a little too early for where we are in the process?

[ She shrugs. SHe doesn't really know the science behind it or anything. She's going to finish chewing her bite before she starts talking again. This pizza is good.. it's not solving all of her problems. ]

Uhhh... Maybe? Or maybe not. [ She makes a face. ] It stops really hurting after that and you start getting really weak and tired all the time and that's when you start losing weight. Your brain feels like it's in a fog the whole time, and it could be like 80 degrees out and it's freezing cold. Which sucks because at that point it becomes harder to motivate yourself to go after food. Obviously there's a lot of... feelings and head games you put yourself through.

[ She doesn't want to talk about that. The physical stuff is one thing, the fear and panic and anger and everything she wants to distance herself from. But she's not going to deny it happens. ]

It gets weird too because when you're at that point, if you eat and you don't know where to get food after that then your brain isn't working right so it's like, is it worse to go back to hurting or to not eat until you've got a steady source? But then you remember, "oh right I might die" and eat too fast and it comes back up because your stomach isn't ready for it.

[ She takes another bite.. obviously she has a strong stomach at this point to not be bothered at all by what she's talking about while eating. ]

Refeeding syndrome! I do know about this one.

[ seimei has decided he’s heard enough, though, and he’s not interested in hearing emerald put herself through much more torture if this is something she’s experienced—and based on her slightly emotional, personal descriptions of the pain, seimei is absolutely positive now that she’s suffered quite a lot. ]

I hope you’re pacing yourself with your pizza.

[ he smiles. ]

Well, actually, I hope you aren’t starving in the first place, and you can enjoy your pizza normally.

[ She's glad he doesn't seem to want more information. The physical stuff is easy to talk about but easily the easier part of that whole situation. She would have probably shut him down if he tried to push for more. She clearly relaxes a little bit when he seems to refocus a little and points the pizza slice she's got in her hand at him. ]

I'll eat the pizza as fast as I want.

[ Which is a seemingly normal pace, really. ]

Thanks for it. You sure you don't want a bite? [ She sets the partially eaten slice back into the box and grabs one that she hasn't bitten into yet. He said he didn't like germs, after all. ]

[ seimei actually covers his mouth—it’s delicate, not hasty, and he doesn’t seem sickened by the thought, but there’s clearly an involuntary rejection that crosses his expression before he can think to stop it. his ears even pin back. it’s almost cute. ]

I can’t.

[ he forces himself to smile, lowering his hand, but his ears are still flattened against his head. ]

Don’t get me wrong. I like pizza. I just can’t eat when other people are around.

Oh.

[ she can't help but grin a little at his ears though, even if she's still down. The tiredness from being as upset as she has been for weeks now isn't going to fade away so easily, but at least she seems not to be totally broken anymore.

Or she's got a lot of practice making the faces she's supposed to. Even emerald isn't so sure any more. ]

That's even better, I can stop feeling like you're going to take it back.

[ Look years of resource guarding gives her anxiety even if she doesn't show it on her face as much any more. ]

I can cook, can I make something and just drop it off as payback sometime?

[ Not that she minds being in debt-- it's an excuse to keep seeing someone, but she isnt going to take advantage of that. ]

[ although seimei suspects there is still much more lurking behind emerald than what he initially assumed from her, he doesn’t think he’s going to be able to pry it out of her as long as the topic is on him. that’s fine, he reasons. he can tell a few stories about himself and make her comfortable.

he’s cruel, not an asshole. ]

Sorry.

[ he shakes his head, his smile turning wry. ]

I can’t do that either. Homemade meals are… hard for me. [ the two exceptions, besides himself, are his mother and chiyako, and soubi recently made a guest appearance thanks to cordis. ] I’m such a difficult person, aren’t I?

Difficult's one word for it.

[ Pain in the ass is another. ]

I don't mind. I'm not paying you back then.

[ So they're clear. She doesn't want him to pull some kind of debt out on surprise later. She tried. ]

That’s all right. I actually borrowed my roommate’s money to pay for it, so you would need to repay him if anyone.

[ so many things he could call soubi here. he opts for roommate, since that is accurately what they are right now.

his ears perk right back up. ]

[ She lets out a little snort of a single laugh at that. ]

Give him my regards.

[ She doesn't know who his roommate is, she doesn't feel any need to repay someone she doesn't know. If she knew it was Soubi, she would- she's met him once and he's probably been the closest thing to comforting to her, weirdly. But since she doesn't, screw him. Her motivations are very targeted when it comes down to it. Even when she tried to do good things, like she and Seimei agreed to be 'rivals' for, it had been because she had wanted to try to be a better person for someone else. That person was gone now. She still has and loves Chihiro, but he's.. not the kind of person who can offer direction. He's the kind of person who breaks through to people who no one else will speak up to, but when it came to Emerald, he was more of an enabler. Without direction, Emerald's track record is..

Well, as described. A starving street rat, unlovable- surviving out of spite, but not living. Desperate. She didn't want to go back to that. Emerald slowly finishes off the slice of pizza she was working on, her mind tracks back to that fact and her gaze, while briefly sidetracked, dulls again. Her appetite is pretty much gone after that, and she closes the box. She'll eat it later. ]

Why do you care if I'm upset anyway? I've been lying and teasing you since we met.

[ seimei won’t try to distract her from her sadness if this is what she wants to talk about. crossing his legs, he leans forward rather than trying to lean into her space. he’s just getting comfortable. ]

Who said I cared?

[ he leaves a beat of space, just long enough for it to be delivered and processed as a joke, and then he continues with something a little more sympathetic. ]

…I don’t take any particular pleasure in seeing people upset, you know. [ a twitch of the ear. ] I might not be a good person, but I try to be nice.

[ he smiles. ]

[ It's a surprising answer. While Emerald behaves as she needs to, Seimei keeps saying surprising things... she weirdly doesn't mind that he says he doesn't care. Right now, it might be more comforting. If losing someone who cares hurts, having someone around who doesn't is at least not something that will cause anxiety. ]

I'm not a good person either.

[ Wait. A beat passes, then she sits up a little straighter and looks at him. ]

Were you serious about the arson?

[ Is she a magnet for criminals or... ]

Hm?

[ his smile, which had previously been for her benefit, turns cold—not guarded, but it’s the kind of smile that suggests whatever he’s about to say is for fun and not truth. ]

What do you think? Do I look like an arsonist?

Maybe.

[ She gives him a teasing smirk. ]

I doubt most arsonists dye their hair red and orange and walk around flicking a lighter open and closed, what would I even be looking for?

[ She seems pretty relaxed about this conversation. Whatever, she's a terrorist. ]

Well, what I can tell you is that I would never burn something down while people were in it.

[ with that condition, he reveals himself without directly saying it. he’s a wild, unpredictable kind of a person, but it’s true that the only reason he would commit a crime on a grand scale is to make a point to people he hates. ]

This is a fun game. What other crimes are you going to accuse me of?

What, you've got more? Hm...

[ She tilts her head down, eyes up like she's trying to judge him properly. ]

You don't look like much of a fighter, so I'm ruling out violent crimes. You borrowed your roommate's money, so you probably don't have much income.. no money laundering, or white collar crimes, or drug sales. Hm.. Voyeurism?

[ Since he's watching her eat. That's not really a crime. though. She adds: ]

Peeping Tom?

[ That's a crime, yeah. ]

You think so low of me.

[ seimei is amused, though. maybe he would be, if he ever had any reason for it. everyone he’s ever leered at has known he was there and known he was looking—he just constructs anything odd he does as being perfectly natural for him, and no one bothers to question it.

he laughs. ]

I read my mother’s diary once. Does that count? My younger brother was furious with me.

Hm.. Well, what kind of criminal do you think I would be?

[ There are very clear answers, but she doesn't know if he'll just tease or try to really figure it out. She wonders what kind of impression she gives. ]

Why was your brother madder than your mom?

[ Maybe that is how it's supposed to be. She doesn't know. ]

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