text; un:anglicized

[descendency]

⚠️⚠️PETSITTER WANTED⚠️⚠️

This is a serious post, I am truly in need of a petsitter.

Notes:
-This is 100% a petsitting gig, but it's not an animal it's a person.
-Not some weird kink thing, you'll understand when you meet him.
-It's an easy job, we can work out whatever compensation you find fair.

The job:

Basically, my friend is a high functioning magic savant and a non-functioning everything else. That is not hyperbole, this boy will go into a fugue state and not eat for three days if you let him.

Your responsibilities are:

-Feed him three meals a day. He's not a picky eater. He just needs food set out in front of him three times a day or he won't eat. If you can't be there to physically put food in front of him, make sure he has sandwich fixings at home and harass him until he texts you a photo of his sandwich. Make sure he hydrates as well.

-Make sure his bills get paid. He will have more than enough money to pay for the bills, your job is to make sure they get paid every month. I'll put everything on auto-pay that has auto-pay but just keep a general eye on his finances. He will not know what month it is half the time he is asked and he's never had to deal with bills before.

-Keep the fridge stocked. I will provide a list of foods he can prepare for himself. Once a week check everything and toss out anything expired. I will provide the money to purchase anything he requires.

-Take him out for walks. Literally just makes sure he gets outside at least once a day. This won't always be necessary, he is outgoing and likes to socialize so he will often venture out on his own without prompting. However, he will also sometimes accidentally stay inside working on a project for a week straight if left unsupervised and that's where you come in.

In short, feed him three times a day, make sure bills get paid and groceries get bought, and make sure he's not collecting a thin layer of dust. That's it. That's the whole job.

He's a kind, funny, and generous person, so if you get along with that kind of personality it won't even feel like work.

That said, he is kind and generous to a fault and if you take advantage of that in any way, I will not kill you. That's the threat. Whatever I do to you will not at any point involve death. So be nice.

Let me know if you're interested. There's a few more detailed instructions for whoever lands the gig but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.

Comments

text

[leatherdaddy]

it's called a caretaker
calling for a petsitter is 100% kinky

but seriously what's your relation to the guy

[descendency]

Look, being a caretaker for a human being involves a level of... presumed competency? But there's nothing wrong with him except he's a very specific kind of stupid.

Anyway, it's still not a sex thing. Unless you want it to be? But that's between you, him, and god like that part doesn't involve me. Except where you're nice and respectful or we go back to the threats.

I just want him looked after.

[leatherdaddy]

[ Gladio's still stuck on the pet part of this whole thing. ]

...your pet
you want someone to look after your man-sized pet

what's wrong with him

[descendency]

Not MY pet. He's just. Pet-like.

Like I said, he's just dumb. He's got like 1 thing he's into and if it's not that, he forgets to pay attention. Which includes most meals. He's a tiny, tiny, easily distracted puppy of a man who is in zero ways food motivated.

private un: fox🦊 , feed me yourself you coward

[foxable]

[ oh god

he doesn't need to see names listed to know what this is about - who this is about - and he feels himself burning up near to the point of ignition with embarrassment ]

mingyu???

what are you doing??

[descendency]

new phone who dis

[foxable]

petsitting?????

you know my name is a moniker not an actual physical description right???

if you're so worried about me eating regularly why don't you just come over?? or i don't know text or something

[Video] un: beitangmoran

[beitangmoran]

... If you are this worried about this person, would it not make more sense for you to care for him yourself, Bai-gongzi?

[video but like private]

[descendency]

[ he looks happy to hear from you at least?? ]

Beitang-ge! How did you know it was me? Did I accidentally sign my name somewhere?

Anyway, it's complicated.

How've you been?

Hey, feeding people's one of your hobbies, right?

[video || private]

[beitangmoran]

Your speech patterns are pretty distinctive after having talked to you for one evening, Bai-gongzi.

[At least to him, since your way of speaking is quite decidedly different from what he's used to.]

I am fine, thank you. And yourself?

... And I do not think I would call it a hobby, really.

text; un: jiangyanli

[approving]

❰ this is... sure something. but yanli likes to take care of people, and at the very least she can make sure food's on the table! ❱

I can help with food, at least. Though I would like to meet you and your friend before I formally agree to anything!

[descendency]

Naturally there'll be an interview process to make sure it's a good fit for everyone involved.

[ is that a joke? impossible to say. mingyu may be having more fun than is strictly appropriate all things considered. ]

Is that... Miss Jiang, then?

[ just going from a quick skim of her handle. ]

[approving]

That sounds like a very good idea. Shall I bring references? My brothers are here, I'm sure they'd have wonderful things to say about my cooking.

❰ is that a joke? who knows. yanli may really be quite sincere, but she's also amused. ❱

Yes, Miss Jiang! And what should I call you, sir?

❰ surely anglicized isn't your name. ❱

text. — un: wen.qing

[sterilize]

Is he that useless?

( smh kids these days!!!! )

It sounds like he needs a parent more than a babysitter.

[descendency]

[ wow look at least he's not wei wuxian??? WE can roast our husband, everyone else has to be nice!! ]

It's mostly just the remembering to eat thing. And he's never had bills before. Look, he didn't have much in the way of parents so it makes sense he needs help.

[sterilize]

Hm.

Unfortunately I'm opening a business, so I won't be able to.
But I have a fiancé in need of a job. I'll pass it along to him.

What kinds of foods does he like?

text | un: jin.zixun

[amidstsnow]

i am here to inquire about the job.

[apparently.]

[descendency]

Oh, is this Miss Wen's betrothed?

[ at least he seems obedient? dutiful, even. maybe that's the ticket. ]

Do you find the terms of the job agreeable?

[amidstsnow]

i am one of them, yes.

my name is jin zixuan. and i do find your terms agreeable.

[terms? what terms?? ok, he's scanning it again... okay.]

yes, i agree.

how much does it pay?

text | un: fotia

[burningfree]

"Not a weird kink thing." Right.

You know, I mistook someone else's post earlier this month for referring to their partner as their pet, and now that it's actually happened on here, I'm feeling entirely justified. Why are people so shameless on here?

[descendency]

He's not my partner, for one. I'm not saying there's any shame involved here since I'm trying to be frank about the kind of care my friend needs, which is 100% the way you'd hire a sitter to watch your pets when you're on vacation so they don't go hungry or get lonely. But it's not a sex thing.

[burningfree]

Fine. Even if that is the case, isn't he still a person? Doesn't he deserve significantly more respect than a post calling him a 'pet' and whatever caretaker that cares for him a 'petsitter'?

Text;

[firstkissofsteel]

So did declaring it not a kink thing work out for you with this post or...?

[descendency]

Sure didn't but that doesn't change the fact it's not a kink thing no matter how much the public wants it to be.

[firstkissofsteel]

[She’s laughing, she can’t help it.]

Well, it’s not a bad idea, I guess. Some people need to be looked after or else they’ll wander straight into traffic because they’re too busy staring at a butterfly or their nose stuck in a book.

If you find someone good let me know, i might have someone for them to take care of two. Or two someones.