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[The camera opens to Crystal Beach. With the weather as it's been lately, nobody should be surprised that someone decided to spend a little time there. With the sun starting to set, the sky has burst into mingled red and gold, the color spread over the sea as well in gentle lapping waves. A small jostle, and the camera is all set on a beach chair that was the resting place of a few cute little dolls. Some were shaped like local animals, but among the others were a smattering of dragons, perhaps an inspiration from their recent dealings with Lyestellus.

Kanji stepped back and into the frame, dressed for the outing: A basic black speedo and a pair of snappy designer sunglasses. He didn't seem bothered by his choice of attire- it was too damn hot to give a shit anyway- as he lowered to his knees and settled next to his makeshift display.]

A'right... uh, yo! Ain't done one of these videos in a while. Few months, I think? Anyway, I'll just get right into it with the question I sometimes get:

Did I make these? Damn right I did! They're cute as hell too, yeah? And if somebody's got a problem with a guy like me makin' stuff like this, they can kiss my ass or get outta my way! This is what I do, and I'm damn proud of it!

[He sat up straighter with a grin.]

...For the rest of ya who don't give a crap and want a piece of what I can make, I'm open for orders. I make dolls, charms n' clothes. Hell, they can be clothes that accommodate ears n' tails or whatever when the moon changes. I can do alterations, too.

I'm gettin' better at workin' needles while transformed, too, so the Sanguis moon ain't slowin' me down much. Gimme a little more time, and that'll be nailed no sweat!

[He supposed that was it. Off-camera, there's a distinct panting. Kanji looked off-frame, too. Despite the hardened look right up until then, his expression softened immediately.]

Hey, pal... tired of diggin', huh?

[A large black and white dog pads in, some kind of jowly breed but it's sporting a strange pair of horns and very dirty paws from a digging adventure. His tail is wagging like crazy as he flopped beside the human, and is happy to get those tummy pets.]

Anyway... drop a line here or in the inbox.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think the dolls look great, you do the right thing not listening to people's shitty opinions. Since you take request, do you know how a raccoon looks like?

[ A lot of people he's meet in the past had no idea, so that's why Peter is asking. He gets a bit distracted by the end of the video because PUPPY. ]

Interesting friend you've got there. The dogs I've know don't have horns, what creature is that one? He's very cute.

A raccoon? Sure I do. Cute little suckers, but man do they punish ya for not leavin' the trash bin lids tight.

[But he brightened.]

I dunno! Dogs don't have horns back home for me neither, but that's how ol' Ranger came out as a little puppy! I put chroma into the weird crystal ball I got from the Ware Wolf and he's able to come out and stick around. I dunno if it's the chroma, but he kinda grew like a normal dog did.

Aha, yes I see that you're familiar with them. If you think normal raccoons are annoying you should meet one of my teammates from home. He is a talking racoon with an affinity for making weapons. But I kinda miss the little bugger, if I am honest, then the request.

Weird but he looks very cool with them. Weird crystal ball? I still have to check out that shop, I haven't been here that long. They have magical artifacts that can summon creatures from your homeworld?

[A talking weaponsmith raccoon? Well, he knew an empty bear mascot costume with a personality that grew a human body, so he can't be somebody to judge.]

It shows up a little before the Sanguis moon fills up. Dude sells all kinds of weird shit. I dunno about stuff from your homeworld, but it wouldn't hurt to check it out when it comes around again. Should be a few days.

Anyway, ya want a doll of your raccoon pal? Is he just a raccoon with a gun or does he wear somethin'? If you can draw it up, that'd help a bunch too.

Among other things, yes. [ Peter looks serious enough that it doesn't seem like he's making it up on the spot just to mess up with Kanji. ]

Eh, sounds interesting, I'll give it a look, thanks for the information. Maybe I can find something good.

Yes! He wears clothes, actually, a jumpsuit. Let me see what I can do, it will only take him a moment.

[ Don't mind Peter disappearing, Kanji, he's looking for some pen and paper. When he comes back in front of the camera to show the drawing, it's clear that it only took him a few minutes because Peter's art skills leave much to be desired. ]

He's taken a liking to my red scarf, so that's what's around his neck. [ No, it's not blood, even if it might have looked like it. ] I think I've really captured his essence.

[Okay, excuse me, but is that a raccoon wearing a space jumpsuit with a crazy-ass weapon!? That's an actual friend of yours, dude? Can they trade? You can have one (1) Teddie.]

Er-

O-okay, yeah, I think ya nailed it too, and he looks friggin' adorable. It'd be a hell of a treat to make a doll of this guy. How big ya want 'im?

[ That's exactly it. And Rocket has hold bigger guns, Peter might have it too small. Not sure about the trade, though, Teddie might find the Guardians not fashionable enough. ]

Why, thank you. But never tell Rocket that he looks adorable if he ever comes to the city and you two meet, unless you want to lose a finger. He bites and scratches when he gets mad.

As for big uhhh...no idea, I was going to gift it to my girlfriend. Maybe like your average sized plushie? Teddy bear sized? I don't want to give you a lot of trouble with it.

Teddy bear-sized it is. And no petting Rocket, huh...? I guess that figures. Other than the big guy here, animals don't like me very much.

Let's see, uhhh... should take me a few days, and I'll get in touch once he starts really comin' together for any tweaks n' stuff he needs. Cool?

Excellent. Let me know how much you charge in exchange and I can come over and pay you. Trust me, it's not you. He just doesn't like people touching him much. Poor Manties learned that the hard way.

Sure thing, there's really no rush at all. If you have other projects first, this one can wait.

Lemme go over my fabric and other materials and I'll send an invoice in a little bit. I tend to ask for demichroma, but cut it in half if you're lookin' to pay in chroma.

Name's Kanji, by the way!

Don't worry too much if you can't be 100% accurate with the design, I know it's an odd request. Both options sound good. When it comes to Chroma I usually share hugs and handshakes, since that's faster, but if you prefer less touching then we can go for the demichroma.

Pleasure to meet you, Kanji. My name's Peter Quill but around the Galaxy, they know me as Star-Lord.

I'm good for hugs n' handshakes no problem.

...Did you say Star-Lord? That name's awesome.

Then it's settled.

[ Peter stops, looking at Kanji in amazement when the younger man compliments him. You just became his favorite person, Kanji. ]

Thank you! It's well earned too, I promise. I've been traveling around the Galaxy since I was 8 years old.

Man, I wanted to camp on the moon when I was eight! I mean, I'm on a different planet now, but it's eleven years too freakin' late.

So what's your weirdest alien encounter?

Aww, that as a good goal. I wanted to be an astronaut too, so I guess in a way, I did that. It's never too late, it seem. You can always ask the Moon Knights if they would let you camp on one of the moons.

Oh, it's so hard to choose. I've been up there for 30 years there had been a lot of interesting and even more unfortunate encounters. [ Where does he even start? With his teammates, of course. ] So there's this guy, Groot. He's one of my teammates and Rocket's best friend. He is walking, talking tree, and can make vines and flowers grow from his body at will.

I think I got that outta my system when I woke up on Iris and had to hunt unicorns for food.

[He'd feel pity, but those suckers were mean as piss.]

A talking tree? That's awesome! You'd think space would be rough for 'em, but I guess most planets worth goin' to has some kinda sun, water n' CO2 right?

That sure sounds like a memorable start. I was talking with Persephone about unicorn the other day and how I expected them to be the next thing to show up on the planet. Are you saying I missed them? A shame.

[ Ey, peter might find it odd but he's not about to judge other people's weird eating habits. ]

He's very tough for someone who grew up in a pot, and when we were off-planet we made sure to fly close to some sun so he would get the energy he needed. Groot was adorable as a baby but a troublemaker. That hasn't changed now that he's a teenager. He's been really difficult to handle lately and spends a lot of time playing with videogames. Alien species aren't that different from us after all.

Looks like it. Sorry.

[But he had to wonder:]

Wait, what the hell kinda video games does a tree play? I take it not fishing games or things where ya gotta gather wood to build stuff.

A shame but ey, at least I got to see real dragons. There are a lot of lizard-like giant aliens out there in the galaxy but now quite like real dragons that breathe fire.

Wait a moment, you said you had to hunt the unicorns? What happened to the rest of the food?

He plays mostly Space invaders since I gave Grott my old Gameboy. But he would play any game that lets him blow up things. He's got that from Rocket.

[ The guardians are simultaneously the worst and best parents. ]

There was no other food that I could find up there on Iris! There's water but no plants, no fungus, nothin'.

Workin' out how into weaponry Rocket is, I guess that was a given for game preference. So long as it doesn't freak Groot out, I guess.

I thought the moon Knights were in charging of picking up the moonblessed that awoke in the moon. Where they slacking on the job?

All my team is used to handle all sort of weapons, it's really no big deal for us. Grott's quite the combatant when he puts his mind to it.

Ohhhh... well, I was one'a the first group, over a year ago, to pop up on the moon. The prismals didn't know we were comin', not like they do now. It's crazy rough up there tryin'a live for hours in a purple desert.

I believe you, that must have been terrifying.

Did they get everyone on time, I hope? No casualties?

None that I know of. We were huge chroma beacons on a moon that ain't got much on it, so once the Scientia station on Iris picked up on the spike, it wasn't tough locating and pickin' us up.

I think I bit somebody. I don't remember. But my blessing kinda got the better of me and I wasn't exactly in my right mind at the time.

All's well that ends well. The more I learn about this place, the crazier it gets. I've never known about this sort of magic and Ive seen my fair share in the past.

I think you can be forgiven given the circumstances, as long as it wasn't anything serious and you didn't go 'Lord of the flies' on each other.

Video | Un: Star-Lord

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