003✖; (audio @hot.damn)

[circumitus]

Important question: How do you tell if someone's your friend?

Is it something that people just... know or do they have a conversation about it?

[How does friendship work and more importantly, can you eat it?]

The whole concept of friendship always seemed strange, honestly. People just decide "Hey, this person isn't a complete piece of shit"? Weird. [Well, now she might just be projecting onto herself.

[So, wait. Does this mean that she has friends? Does anyone have friends? How annoying.]

Comments

[ragingnature]

Y-yeah, that.

[circumitus]

[awk silence]

Well, um. Thanks for the response, anyway. Will try to keep that shit in mind.

[Good god she's abysmal at this.]

[ragingnature]

[ She's not always the best at recognizing danger so looking back on it she realizes how bad things could have gone. ]

Sorry I couldn't be too much help.

[circumitus]

No worries... Feel kind of stupid for having to ask about this shit.

[Such is the case when you were made to be a weapon, not a social companion.]

[ragingnature]

You aren't stupid. I mean, I've learned that some of us just don't experience things at the same rate as others. It doesn't hurt to ask for help to get a better perspective on that kind of stuff.

[ Laughable coming from the woman who is terrible at asking for help when she needs it. ]

[circumitus]

Fair. You'd think living after living so long that that shit should just be obvious, but -- of course, was never equipped with proper team playing or social skills. Guess those weren't considered "necessary".

[One of her past selves at least tried to connect with others and... failed miserably. Big surprise, she didn't last long in that life.]

[ragingnature]

At least you have a chance to learn them now?

[circumitus]

Sure, if that learning process involves intense exposure therapy. Minus the therapy part.

[ragingnature]

[ There's a soft laugh. ]

If that's what it takes.

[circumitus]

And if it does more harm than good?

Took a long time to be considered... "safe" among society like this.

[ragingnature]

Harm to them or harm to yourself?

[ It'd probably be a surprise to others if she said she understood. It's something she's been working on, though. ]

[circumitus]

...

Yes.

[Rey that wasn't a yes/no question stop it.]

[ragingnature]

Um, so both?

[circumitus]

[There's a sound of a thunk, like a head slamming on a hard surface of some kind.]

...Yes, both.

[ragingnature]

I guess I understand that...

The way I see it, the only way you'll know how things will turn out is if you try. Maybe it's scary at first and you'll run away. Maybe you'll hurt them or it'll hurt you -- and I don't mean that physically although I suppose that is always a possibility...

[circumitus]

Old fashioned sink-or-swim approach, huh?

[ragingnature]

I wouldn't say to toss yourself into the deep end, that's bound to not go well. Try to ease yourself into the idea of actual friendships.

[circumitus]

Might as well be tossed into the fucking ocean, but all right.

[She's trying not to be resigned to her usual defeatism. Old habits die hard, though.]

[ragingnature]

I suppose if the idea is completely foreign to you...

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I assume you asked because there's someone in your life you think might be a friend but you're unsure. Start with them.

[circumitus]

Was asking because it's just something that's... come up, a couple times. Mostly relevant to certain people who have come and gone from this place, but was also thinking about some from before here, too. Talking to them is not really an option, at the moment.

[ragingnature]

Oh.

[ There's a short pause before she continues. ]

Well. I suppose you can try in the future with others?

[circumitus]

Sure. Can just rely on that shitty social intuition.

[Optimism isn't Rey's strong suit.]

[ragingnature]

I don't claim to understand people or have great social intuition, as you put it, but I've been learning. I believe you can learn too.

[ Meanwhile, Persephone is full of optimism. ]

[circumitus]

Guess so. The "old dog, new tricks" excuse only goes so far.

[Being much older than she appears and has Seen Shit.]