prismatica | text; un: sekiken

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text; un: sekiken

Hello. My name is Louis, and it’s been about a month since my arrival.

This is something I’ve been curious about since arriving, so I’d like to gauge the current community:

Are you, do you know, or have you ever known a vampire?

If so, I’d like to learn as much as possible about the vampires from your worlds. While one might have in mind a vampire they would call “stereotypical,” that is undeniably a relative label, and it interests me just how widely the differences can range under what may very well now be called an umbrella term.

For example: My race goes by the name “revenants.” For all intents and purposes, I would still classify us as vampires, as we are immortals sustained by drinking blood—but perhaps you might think other criteria more appropriate for determining whether or not one falls into the vampire category? I welcome any challenges or elaboration.

Some further questions for consideration:

Do your vampires have fangs? Powers, abilities?
What kind of blood do they drink? How often? How do they feed?
What does a vampire’s immortality look like to you?
Are vampires well-embedded in your world’s history, or are they more recent?
What relationships do you or they have with non-vampires?
How have other vampires adapted since coming to this world? Are there any particular hindrances you or they encounter?

These are just a few to prompt discussion, but don’t feel limited to these questions only. This is meant to serve as a collaborative gathering of information.

As all of this may be a sensitive or even unpleasant topic for some, I want to offer full transparency from my side of things, and welcome anonymous responses should anyone wish to protect their identity. Please share as much or as little as you’d like, and feel free to ask if there’s anything you’d want to know of me, as well.

Thank you for reading.

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[Isn't this the guy he's met in the library?]

You're a vampire? I had no idea...

Ah, this is Ruca. I'm sorry, I've only ever read about vampires in novels so I don't have anything to say on this subject.

Aha. Hello again, Ruca. Forgive me for not mentioning it. I certainly wasn't trying to hide it. If it had come up, I would've told you then.

Do you have any questions for me, then? There's a fair chance I'm a bit different from those you might've read about.

No, it's perfectly fine!

Vampires that come up in the stories are... really scary. But you're not! Not at all!

But that makes me wonder... you need blood to stay alive, right?

Haha, thank you. I'm glad to not have scared you off. I'm of the mind that humanity is more than being human, so... it's important to me that my human heart remains intact, no matter the form I take.

I do, and it's considerably more accessible here in Lunatia than it had been on my home world. I take a daily supplement that comes in pill form. Where I came from, revenants could drink from the few humans that remained, but it was a cruel practice, and one I didn't partake in. I and many others instead relied on a plant-grown substitute for blood, strange as that may sound.

I see.

Are there any downsides to taking supplements or using substitutes? Do you find yourself struggling sometimes?

I'm sorry if I'm asking insensitive questions.

There's nothing to apologize for. I offered to answer as much as I can, and I take no offense in the slightest. Thank you for being so considerate, though.

Perhaps someone with more of a preference for fresh human blood might think the supplements or substitutes inferior, but for me, I fair just fine with them.

[... Except during Sanguis, but that was a particularly recent struggle for him, and not quite one he's jumping to talk about just yet. One might even say it was what finally convinced him to start this discussion.]

Anything else you're curious about? I don't mind.

There's no need to thank me.

Thank you for answering my questions.

I just have one more. What exactly immortality means to you? Do you... think it may be lonely one day?

And do you feel lonely here?

[Wow. Ruca had apologized for asking about something as innocuous as his blood supplements, and now this? ... Well, he did invite it. It takes Louis a long time to think of how to reply.]

I've certainly had my due share of time pondering this. It hasn't been all that long since I became immortal, so I'm able to live without feeling too different or like my age does not match my appearance. In my world, all the people close to me were revenants as well, so I had no fear of losing them to sickness or old age.

But it's only a matter of time, I know. I won't always be a young man in both body and soul. The thought... is a little intimidating, but nothing can be done about it. I'll just have to accept it as it comes.

I didn't think it was lonely here, despite being alone from my world. But as I get to know and bond with people unlike me... humans, other mortals... the thought of outliving them is very lonely indeed.

[There. All of that sucked to say, and his heart feels ten times heavier now that he has. But at least he's done it.]

[This... is a heavier topic that he imagined actually and he feels bad almost immediately. He reads the response carefully before changing the conversation to private in order to answer.]

First of all - I am very sorry for asking.

I don't know any vampires in my world, but I met gods and other divine beings. I know of those who were feeling all alone at some point in their life and of those, who lived multiple lives and all of them were in isolation. I think nobody should ever feel like that.

I myself am different than a regular human. It's kind of complicated to explain, but people like me are usually feared by ordinary people.

What I want to say is, even if I'm not of your kind, I don't want you to feel lonely here. If you ever need someone to listen, you can count on me.

[He'd considered making his last response private as well, due to the sensitivity of it, but with how he'd promised transparency in his original post... Ultimately, Louis had decided against it. Ruca making the effort however offers some relief.]

It's okay. I think it was an important question and one worth asking.

It's... humbling, in a way, to hear that even gods feel loneliness. And still it remains terribly, terribly sad. You're right. No one deserves that feeling.

I hesitate to ask in detail, if you say it's complicated... but would I be wrong to presume you have some kind of immortality yourself?

Thank you, Ruca. You have a kind heart. I'd like to offer the same back, if you're comfortable with that. But even without heavy topics such as these, let's get along as normal friends, too. Does that sound alright with you?

If you would consider being reincarnated after death as some sort of immortality, then I suppose so. I have memories of my previous life, too. And maybe it's not really complicated, I just try not to talk about it, because people back home don't really like people like me, to say the least.

You're very kind too. After all, you put up with my insensitive questions. I'll be happy to accept that offer and be friends with you, if you're okay with it.

[Perhaps he's about to ask insensitive questions of his own... but he can't help wondering. Maybe if he words it carefully enough...]

So "people like you" are a discriminated minority, then... Were you able to find others like yourself? If so, I hope you were able to seek comfort in one another, and soothe that shared loneliness.

Forgive me for asking, but... Do you suppose you'll be reincarnated again, after this life? If it's an unending cycle, then yes, I suppose I'd call that a type of immortality. Even after the body fades, the soul remains...

But please say if this is too uncomfortable for you to speak of. I don't want to force anything from you.

Yes and I'm very grateful for that. We're doing our best to change something in the world.

I think so. My world is... a bit of a mess right now, but I should be reincarnated after death. That's just how it works.

It's not making me uncomfortable at all. Don't worry about it.

I wish you and your allies the best of luck. I often worry about the state of my home too, while we're away here.

You mentioned having memories of your past life. Were these always known to you, or were they regained at some point?

Thank you.

I've had strange dreams ever since I was little, but only not too long ago I learned that they were my memories from the past life.

I see. I would not say it's the same at all, but revenants have a complicated relationship with memories as well.

Whenever we reach critical conditions, our bodies undergo a process called "dispersal"—a false death, one might say, as we always return from it. The cost is that each time we disperse, we lose part of our memories. Usually it's insignificant enough that one might not even notice they've lost anything... but eventually, it all adds up, and some have entirely forgotten themselves.

It can be astonishing to find what you've let yourself forget. Or rather, what's been ripped away from you.

I see... I don't have all the memories from my past life and it took me some time to remember the most important things. For instance, I couldn't remember how I died.

Some people forget about this life and they are lost in their past life's memories. They lose themselves, they live only to avenge the past.

I think it may be the reverse of what revenants are experiencing.

The reverse, hm... Perhaps.

Maybe it's not my place to say so, but to be consumed by the past and lose sight of what's right in front of you sounds... pitiful. I feel so sorry for them...

[No. Maybe it is his place, as he himself wasn't all that different, haunted by his own ghosts. But now—he wants to face the present properly, in order to pave that brighter future.]

I'd forgotten the details of my death, too. But someone very important to me helped me find them again. Confronting those memories was no small feat... but they're still a part of me, so it was important to me that I did.

I was once like that too. Thinking that I was better in the past than right now. But I'm not going to chase after my past life's shadow any more.

Confronting those kind of memories is always difficult, I think. Mine was... no better. I did something really stupid after regaining that memory, but it also opened my eyes and made me realize that the past and present are two different things.

We've all had our foolish impulses, especially when lost and confused; even I'm no exception to that.

But I'm glad you were able to realize yourself after it, and then set your heart on facing forward. It takes great strength to do so, and surely you're all the better for it now.

I feel I am a better person now.

Or at least I hope so.

In any case, if you ever need to talk I will always listen.

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