video — un: dontannoyme

[pushpin]

So. I'm havin' a little problem.

[ hey there Prismatica, welcome to Mo Guanshan's kitchen: modest, lived-in, homey. it smells like garlic and ginger and red pepper approximately all the time. Guanshan himself seems to be in little more than pajamas and since it's the afternoon on a day off, he probably just woke up. ]

Check this out.

[ he pans over, and laid out on his tabletop are the following: the broken remains of a coffee mug, a cabinet door handle ripped off its hinges with wood still clinging to the screws, and a metal spatula and pan literally bent in half, all lined up neatly one after the other like some weird museum display. a quick and knowing eye might catch the bracelet that's the source of all these mishaps, but it's wrapped on his wrist unassumingly with two others, an eclectic little collection. ]

What the fuck happened? Did somebody shoot me up with steroids when I wasn't lookin'? Who does that, sneaks into a dude's house and syringes him chock full'a juice while he's sleepin'? Who would sleep through that?!

[ not the most educated guess, but it makes more sense to him than reality at the moment. ]

Comments

video; un: 7😆H!TA1

[arf]

[ Eyes wide, excited yelling OUT. ]

...That's so cool!!! You're so strong!

[ Wait, drugging him isn't cool- Well, if it was that. Taichi has no idea. ]

[pushpin]

Yeah it's cool 'til I gotta hold my own dick to take a piss 'n break it.

[ please help. ]

[arf]

You can't control it even to pee!?

[ Hm... he gets a thoughtful, determined expression on his face. ]

Maybe you can get some yarn and swing it under? Like a puppet?

[ That's.. the best he can think. Then he can lift and direct at least..??? ]

[pushpin]

Well, I was bein'...

[ wait. is he trying to figure out how to help him pee without actually breaking his dick. ]

[ ...can't... resist... ]

What if I tug it too hard 'n cut the tip clean off?

[arf]

It's yarn, not piano wire! This isn't a gore movie!

[ THAT SOUNDS HORRIFYING AND TAICHI SOUNDS SCARED ]

[pushpin]

Well then I'd still get some kinda weird burn if I accidentally tugged it too hard! My dick's been through enough lately.

[arf]

Th-then.. silk...?

[ This is so embarrassing... Taichi looks like he's about to pass out. He's not even sure if it's because he's talking about another dude's dick or the idea of rug burn on a penis... One his cherry boy self can barely handle and the other he doesn't think anyone can handle. And what else was he doing to it anyway?! ]

[pushpin]

...

Like a li'l hammock?

[ WHY IS THIS THE MOST COMICAL MENTAL IMAGE ]

[arf]

Yeah, like on the beach! A little vacation for your man meat in silky toilet town! Then if you pull it to hard it'll just slip off so no harm!

[ This is a perfectly reasonable sentence to have spoken out loud. ]

[pushpin]

... Ya know what, people don't give you enough credit. There's one problem with it, though.

[arf]

What is it?

[pushpin]

Do I look like the kinda motherfucker to wear silk?!

[arf]

I don't know what you wear in your private time!

[ ALMOST SCREAMS IT BC WHY IS HE GETTING YELLED AT AHHHH ]

[pushpin]

[ yell is love, yell is life ]

Suggest something less useless or it's punishment time!

[arf]

[ HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO HE, HE MADE HIS MISTAKES, GOT NOWHERE TO RUN-- wait this is a video call

Even so, Taichi let's out a screech like he's seen the end of the line. ]

EEEEEE! What did I do?! Spare me!!

[pushpin]

No one gets spared! Now c'mere and hold it for me so my bladder don't burst!

[ the "punishment", apparently. ]

[arf]

I don't even know where "here" is!

[ wait- that's not the issue!! ]

I've never touched another dude's wiener before, I'll get pee everywhere!!

[ is that his problem... ]

[pushpin]

Just stand behind me and aim like you would with yer own, how hard is that?!

[ and he's on camera furiously typing... his address. it's his address. ]

[arf]

[ ...You know what though. Taichi can be brave. If he tries to free-pee, it could go everywhere, then he could wreck his entire bathroom with super strength trying to clean it up. This is an emergency. Taichi gets a fierce expression on his face. ]

You're gonna pee so straight you're not gonna know how you ever peed without me!

[ And he hangs up. He's coming.. apparently........ ]