text; un: alucard

[reposing]

Forgive me for asking such a question, but I'm in the middle of a project and I'm waiting for things to process. So I thought I might as well ask.

Your idea of "fate", should you believe in it. Does such a linear path bring you any comfort at all?

Or is it perhaps worth fighting against, if you aren't satisfied with your destiny?

Might as well have conversation on it.

Comments

un: 7FFF00

[hierophany]

I think I'd like the idea of fate, if I didn't overthink it. It's a convenient way to abdicate responsibility for your own choices. May as well do whatever you like, if it's all going to turn out the same no matter what.

[reposing]

Does it bring you any comfort, thinking about it?

[hierophany]

It did. It's always seemed a pleasant idea, in theory, that there's a correct sequence of actions and that I need only follow them. Freeing. I don't make mistakes, that way, I just keep moving through a dark part of the correct path. So long as I keep myself from thinking about it too much, it's a useful way to think if all you need to do is keep moving forward.

[ Private. ]

Of course, knowing how it ends changes everything. I'm selfish. The concept of fate has ceased to be convenient to me. If I thought I could change it, I would.

private;

[reposing]

So you would change yours.

Which is understandable, of course.

[hierophany]

If I could, yes. I expected I would be rather more graceful about it. That seems to be what's expected of dead people. I was, before I ran into him again.

It's easy to be graceful about death when it's abstract, but the world goes on without me in it. Without me being in any of the places I ought to be. It feels like fate, if I'm only causing problems for myself. It feels like fucking up if I'm causing them for other people. I'm not there for him when he needs someone. I never thank Mrs. Kujo properly. My parents lose a child.

I can endure dying. I can't endure doing so many things incorrectly.

[reposing]

I think that your life would be worth fighting for, Kakyoin. Not just for the sake of others, but for you, too. For someone who deserved to have more time to spend with people who at least understood you to some degree.

[hierophany]

What year was it, when you came here?

[reposing]

For me? 1476.

[hierophany]

A little way in the past, then.

It's a great deal to ask. I don't know if we share a world, for a start. Or if you'll remember anything, when we do go home. But if you have the opportunity, could you send a message? Write it somewhere where historians might find it.

Antoine Court de Gébelin. That's all I need to know. If I have that clue, I'll save myself.