001 | ( VIDEO. ) | JULY 30th

[pubertytwice]

_{[ The feed clicks on and shows a kid appearing no older than 13 seated back in a chair, curled knuckles against his face. His eyes look tired and expression rather thin. He's wearing a uniform of some sort, though pieces of it look tattered or stained. One of his legs bounces in his seat (aren't his shorts cute?) but after a moment of mulling over what to say, he leans forward, hands folding together neatly. ]}

I already lack faith in gathering information from anyone here, and yet, here I am with inquiries. Serious responses only.

_{[ What could this boy possibly be asking for?? Where is the best place to get ice cream? Hardly so. ]}

Has anyone has ever even attempted hacking into any confidential files that could be in the government's system that operates here? Alternatively, if anyone has ever attempted to assassinate the Queen?

_{[ Oh.. what.. ]}

If not, is there any place on this goddamn planet that serves coffee? Decent coffee. Every place here is a shit hole.

_{[ That's it. No thanks for your time or anything. ]}

Comments

voice

[purport]

As much as it feels like self-promotion [ And therefore there's an awkward stiffness about his tone. ] I'm opening a cafe.

After two thousand years, I imagine my coffee would suffice. But I can also recommend establishments I deem acceptable.

( VOICE. )

[pubertytwice]

You've been making coffee for two thousand years?

_{[ Okay, color him interested. ]}

( VOICE. )

[purport]

Not on a constant basis, but it's the craft in which I have a vested interest.

[ And time meant nothing in his second prison, so it pretty much was this much time spent growing, preparing, and brewing coffee. Over and over, countless times. ]

But how do you prefer your coffee?

[pubertytwice]

The blackest you can make it. Nothing else added into it.

_{[ So.. edgy. ]}

[purport]

[ Well then. ]

I prefer it undiluted as well. Anything more distracts from the coffee itself.

why did this........ disappear in my inbox

[pubertytwice]

Some of the shit people put in coffee makes me wonder if they even wanted coffee to begin with.
Glad to see there's some people around here who have the best kind of taste.

we cannot hope to grasp the mysteries of the inbox

[purport]

Ah, like the sort who takes a little coffee with their sugar? Some simply lack the fortitude, I suppose.

The one who introduced me to coffee served it black, so I've long since grown accustomed.

[pubertytwice]

Who introduced you to coffee?

[purport]

That would be Lucifer, if you're acquainted.

Where we come from, he created coffee.

[pubertytwice]

Lucifer.. like the Satan guy?

[purport]

What? [ He must not have heard that right, because it sure sounds like nonsense. ] Lucifer is an archangel, not a lesser beast like Satan.

[ Welcome to Granblue Fantasy. ]

[pubertytwice]

Oh.
_{[ uuuUUUHHHH... ]}

I’m pretty atheist, but I always thought they were the same person.
As the story goes, or whatever.

[purport]

I've heard of no such stories.

[ Are people making up nonsense about the former Supreme Primarch? He can't imagine why... ]

Lucifer has never gone by the name of any other Primal.

[pubertytwice]

Is he a cool guy where you're from?

[purport]

Lucifer has overseen evolution for millennia, and protected our world tirelessly. I know no being possessed of greater beneficence.

[ Which is an awfully long way of saying yes, yes he is. ]