001 | ( VIDEO. ) | JULY 30th

[pubertytwice]

_{[ The feed clicks on and shows a kid appearing no older than 13 seated back in a chair, curled knuckles against his face. His eyes look tired and expression rather thin. He's wearing a uniform of some sort, though pieces of it look tattered or stained. One of his legs bounces in his seat (aren't his shorts cute?) but after a moment of mulling over what to say, he leans forward, hands folding together neatly. ]}

I already lack faith in gathering information from anyone here, and yet, here I am with inquiries. Serious responses only.

_{[ What could this boy possibly be asking for?? Where is the best place to get ice cream? Hardly so. ]}

Has anyone has ever even attempted hacking into any confidential files that could be in the government's system that operates here? Alternatively, if anyone has ever attempted to assassinate the Queen?

_{[ Oh.. what.. ]}

If not, is there any place on this goddamn planet that serves coffee? Decent coffee. Every place here is a shit hole.

_{[ That's it. No thanks for your time or anything. ]}

Comments

[regelkonform]

Let me rephrase:

Drawing attention is all well and good, but not so much when you get it from the wrong people.
How can you be certain that you're reaching the intended audience?

I know some of the local markets carry some decent coffees, some of them seem like they're from home but most of them still have a decent aroma. Do you have a coffee maker?

Not that I'm suggesting you make your own all the time, but it's a place to start.

[pubertytwice]

It's certainly showing me who to not even bother my time with.

_{[ Germany can probably hear the arrogance in his texting.. also this sentence might be directed at him. We'll never know. ]}

Not yet. That requires money. Which requires

_{[ a break in his text here.. ]}

Hugging.

[regelkonform]

Right, of course it is, you're obviously the expert.

[ Oh he can feel that haughty tone practically seeping through the text, but he's not particularly fazed by it. ]

You are aware that there are plenty of other options aside from hugging, right? It takes a little longer, but you can achieve the same results via hand-holding.

[pubertytwice]

That's just as bad.

_{[ you know that no affection life, don't you, Germany? Or are you too much of a hussy now to remember? ]}

[regelkonform]

Then I suppose your only other option is to actually get a job, I'm afraid that you'll find it doesn't get you quite enough to live on comfortably.

You're free to do as you please, of course, but just understand that this is coming from someone who has been in your position before. There are certain compromises that need to be made while you adjust to things here.

[ Excuse you he still has some humility. Unlike some people he didn't huss it up right away, GOSH!! ]

[pubertytwice]

Know anyone who needs a hitman, then?
_{[ He's joking. Maybe. Probably. We think so.. but that's his only job experience. ]}

[regelkonform]

A HITMAN?!

Ah, surely you have a more...marketable skill?

[ He hopes he's joking. Please be joking. ]

[pubertytwice]

Not really.
I just know how to kill.

_{[ That's a lie. He's learned some things in the apocalypse, but, yeah, for the most part that's what he's best at. ]}

[regelkonform]

Perhaps you should consider developing new skills now that you're in a different setting.

I'm sure that you'll find something to counter with, but I can't see that you'd really need that particular skill set here. Things might get a little strange, but nothing that I could see someone requiring the services of an assassin.

[pubertytwice]

Like what?
Knitting?

_{[ He's being sarcastic, but maybe Germany will take him seriously. ]}

[regelkonform]

Knitting wasn't exactly the first thing that popped into my head, but it's a decent example.

Even skills that you can develop through a hobby would be an excellent starting point.

[pubertytwice]

What sort of skills do you have?
_{[ Be his teacher, Germany. ]}

[regelkonform]

Far too many to list, I think.
As an example I'm rather fond of making clocks and cooking.
Building design...
A number of things that require a great deal of focus.

[ Yes, let him teach you how not to be a sassy assassin and just be a sassy clock maker, I guess. ]

[pubertytwice]

Making clocks you say?
_{[ I mean, he is a time traveler, so that is part of his interest. ]}