text | un: killerlegs

[sarcaskick]

soooo new arrival here, gonna get right to the point
any ladies out there who don't really care about the cuddling or the handholding and just want to get to the good stuff?
the nitty gritty
knocking boots (i have pretty nice boots ngl)
hmu if you're down


also does beating the shit out of someone count for making chroma
just asking
lmk





p.s. hey beacon kids how ya doin ;)

Comments

[uglypet]

Oh, is that required? Very well. I would please like to see your boots!

[sarcaskick]

[ ... You know what, this isn't what he expected, but at the same time he's kind of okay with showing off his boots anyway. So he'll comply, sending her a picture of the visibly weaponized boots he wears on a daily basis. ]

since you asked nicely.

[uglypet]

Oh! Yes. Those are VERY nice boots. I like the bullets very much. Do they also have knives?

[sarcaskick]

they don't - but i kick hard enough that a knife wouldn't really do more for me.

... might look cool, though.

[uglypet]

Yes. An aesthetically pleasing knife would greatly enhance your mating ritual gear.

May I ask how hard you kick?

[sarcaskick]

i think most girls are more into the muscles than the weaponry, but i guess everyone's got their kinks.

i can bust through rocks and concrete pretty easy. my username's not "killerlegs" for no reason.

[uglypet]

Oh I see. We are to select our names based upon our capabilities.

But you are correct. The females of a majority of various species seem to prefer strength and heavy musculature to flabby softness. You must be very strong to break such items with ease.

[sarcaskick]

[Oh... he thought her username was some kind of attempt at being witty, but she literally didn't know to fill in a username. So... so she's an idiot. Okay. Noted.]

what can i say, i work out.

what about the females of YOUR species? what're you into?

[uglypet]

What do I find attractive on a physical level?

[No one has ever asked her this thing! It's exciting.]

I find green skin or hair to be very attractive. I find multiple arms to be pleasing as well, and natural armor, like chitin.

Otherwise I would prefer a mating partner to have a pleasing laugh, a pleasing smell, and no habits of murdering his progeny.

Are you a male?

[sarcaskick]

[So let's see. Skin and hair aren't a match. Arms aren't abundant enough. Natural armor... he wonders if his legs would count? Probably not. They aren't natural, but they're armored.

As for a pleasing laugh? Subjective. Pleasing smell? He... bathes? No habits of murdering progeny...

Well, he's innocent of that brand of killing, anyway.]

does that last one come up often? you deal with a lot of child killers?

sure am. what gave it away?

[uglypet]

Just one for a very long time. We had no sexual relations, however.

Nothing. It was a very fortunate guess!

What about you, killerboots? What do you like when selecting a female companion?

[sarcaskick]

yeah? why'd you stick around him for so long, then?

let's see. they definitely have to be in shape, can't be too clingy, and definitely can't be boring. don't want someone who's just going to lay there while i do all the work.

[uglypet]

He raised me. I suppose it was a sense of obligation.

Do you find hands to be disgusting?

[Clearly he's not a fan of tentacles or suction cups.]

[sarcaskick]

never a good reason.

hands? i mean i've got two of them myself so i guess they're alright

[uglypet]

Yes. You are right.

But you do not like to touch the hands of others?

[sarcaskick]

"no handholding" really just means "i don't want this to be a romantic thing"

[uglypet]

[Ahhhhhhhh that makes more sense! Until he clarified, she thought he probably had tentacles for his upper appendages.]

I see! I do not have any romantic feelings for you. I would be interested to know more of the expectations in the mating rituals of your species.

[She has no idea if they're even biologically compatible, but he has feet like she does, and possibly his hands are similar as well.]

[sarcaskick]

[She's definitely weird, which might be the only reason he's still chatting with her. As he said - he hates boring things, and weird isn't boring.]

expectations? you're going to have to walk me through exactly what you're talking about.

[uglypet]

The traditions of your species prior to copulation. Some perform intricate dances, and some violently murder all rivals to prove the superior option, or perhaps both. There are many worlds and many customs, such as repeatedly breaking up to accumulate the precious resource of ratings.

What do you do?

[sarcaskick]

i mean, i'm more of the direct kind of guy. find out if someone's interested, bang, move on. no rituals or mating dances required.

[uglypet]

I am relieved at this simplicity!

[She can't humiliate herself failing a mating custom if there aren't any to begin with.]

You do not find this boring?

[sarcaskick]

i find wasting time getting somewhere to be more boring than anything. if we already know where we want things to go, just get to the good part.

[uglypet]

Oh yes! That is very logical. The 'bang!' part of the process because it is so quickly accomplished.

[sarcaskick]

well

hopefully not TOO quickly

[uglypet]

May I ask the average time required to complete the sexual act for your species?