Audio then Video | UN: oceangem

[riptidequeen]

[SO, she got that whole sex education thing done and dusted. Now she's trying to figure out the device a bit more so at first it's audio.]

Okay so it's like this, and oh!

[Visuals now! Showing anyone who is watching this a woman who is. Well. Blue, literally she's the colour blue. She mutters under her breath something that sounds like "Oh like the video call" before turning her full attention to the device.

Now to ask an important question, especially after what things she has seen so far.]

... Is sex really that important here?

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[dashhole]

[Just let him soak that in for a moment, and: ]

So how do you....?

[He's making a gesture like--actually, I don't know what he's doing there with his hands mashing together like that. It's almost like squishing...a...ball?? I have no idea what that gesture is supposed to mean and neither does anyone else. Unfortunate.

How is babby formed, Lapis?]

[riptidequeen]

How do I...?

[Scout's flailing isn't helping but then again Lapis considers the subject of her post and the realization dawns on her.

Don't mind her small laugh before explaining.]

More Gems are made when a planet is colonized, they just sort of pop out of the ground.

[dashhole]

[I am truly sorry.]

What, like worms?

[Well...

At least she knows what she's dealing with now.]

[riptidequeen]

N... No?

I don't even know how worms work!

[Organic life is WEIRD, just inject babby into dirt and wait for it to come out as adult.]

[dashhole]

[That's okay, neither does he.]

I gotta tell ya, that sounds way less fun.

[riptidequeen]

It gets the job done, and a lot quicker.

[No nine months bullshit.]

[dashhole]

So, what, you got little--

[Wiat a minute. He squints, and is actually quiet for a few blissful seconds.]

Should I not ask what you are, like is that rude, cause I dunno how this works.

[Congratulations on being the first alien that didn't try to kill him.]

[riptidequeen]

Little what?

[She's making a face, because even she doesn't know what to do with Scout's.... Scoutness.]

I'm a Gem, we're not human or even organic.

[dashhole]

Ok.

[Immediately after that suspiciously simple answer, though...]

So you got little gems crawling around like worms, then what? Babysittin'? School? Bullies? [He's somehow getting even more animated.]

Do gems have like, gem prom? With little suits and cor-sages?

[riptidequeen]

No, no, no and no.

[Seriously.]

That's all, kid stuff yeah? I've never been a kid or child.

[dashhole]

Seriously? [Wow, he? Actually looks bummed?? What is this emotional whiplash.]

Oh man, you missed out.

[riptidequeen]

[She makes a snorting sound as if Scout looking sad is kind of funny or something.]

Knowing my luck, something awful would happen during any of those things.