Audio then Video | UN: oceangem

[riptidequeen]

[SO, she got that whole sex education thing done and dusted. Now she's trying to figure out the device a bit more so at first it's audio.]

Okay so it's like this, and oh!

[Visuals now! Showing anyone who is watching this a woman who is. Well. Blue, literally she's the colour blue. She mutters under her breath something that sounds like "Oh like the video call" before turning her full attention to the device.

Now to ask an important question, especially after what things she has seen so far.]

... Is sex really that important here?

Comments

[riptidequeen]

[Or she's a huge troll, who knows? Lapis isn't saying.]

I was stuck in a mirror for over five thousand years, but I know what metaphor is.

I do get what you mean though, sir.

[whateternityis]

Huh. Not often I actually meet anyone close to my age.

[riptidequeen]

I didn't think humans lived that long.

[whateternityis]

They don't. But I never said I was human, did I?

[riptidequeen]

But... You look human?

[She doesn't have the most experience with humans but come on!]

[whateternityis]

Being human-shaped is the most practical on a daily basis. Besides, you look human, other than the bit where you're blue.

[riptidequeen]

Most Gems have, you know, human-y shapes. And what's wrong with blue?

[whateternityis]

Nothing. Just if a human's blue, they're either wearing quite a lot of makeup or they're dead.

[riptidequeen]

... I should be glad that I've not seen much of either of those kinds of humans then.

[whateternityis]

The dead ones don't tend to be terribly interesting, no.

So what's a Gem when it's at home, then?

[riptidequeen]

They're whatever they want to be.

[Somewhere a rimshot is heard.]

[whateternityis]

[Crowley snorts.] Suppose I walked into that one.

Serious question, though. The 'sentient rock' bit's implied, but I've never heard of that happening before.

[riptidequeen]

[Lapis makes an "mmhmm" sound.]

Well, now you have.

[whateternityis]

Can't blame a body for wondering how that works, can you?

[riptidequeen]

I can't, you're right on that. But it just kind of does? Work I mean.

[whateternityis]

Good that it does, then. Why humanoid shapes, though? It's a big universe.

[riptidequeen]

[She shrugs.]

I'm the wrong Gem to ask that, I'm not that old.

[whateternityis]

Well, if the right one's not here to ask, you could always take a guess. [Not like he's any authority on this. Sentient rocks weren't in any design plans Crowley ever heard about, which practically guarantees they're from different worlds.]

[riptidequeen]

Well as you said before, it's practical. I guess that's how the first Gem thought too.

[She assumes the first Gem is White Diamond, but she doesn't dare say so out loud.]

[whateternityis]

Could be. In my case, it's more practical because I'm among humans more often than not.

[The other demons aren't as good at faking it. Angels who are not Aziraphale manage slightly better than the average demon. Aziraphale's possibly better at blending in than Crowley is. He at least has a thing that looks like a job, and eats regularly.]

[riptidequeen]

So... You're not a human but around humans a lot? Weird.

[Yup, that's all she has to say about that.]

[whateternityis]

Well, they're kind of Earth's dominant species, aren't they? Besides, it comes with the job.

[riptidequeen]

Dominant species that can communicate with other races, yes. And job?

[whateternityis]

They're the ones the place was made for. Back home, anyway. [If the whole thing really was left up to chance and/or spearheaded by different divine beings in other worlds, Crowley obviously can't speak to that.]

In theory, I'm there to bait them into giving in to their worse impulses. In practice, humans come up with worse things than I ever could, nine times in ten.

[riptidequeen]

Hm. That's a strange job to do, and most of the humans I've met are actually pretty nice.

[Beach City, the city of people so used to weird-ass Gem shit.]