Bohai Li (李波海) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shivvymetimbers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica2019-10-12 09:45 pm
shivvymetimbers) wrote in prismatica2019-10-12 09:45 pm
The Worst Mukbang in History [video]
[It takes a moment for the footage to start but once it does, the audience is awarded with the gloriously grotesque sight of this squirrelly bastard nomming on what looks like a neon green crawfish. Why crawfish? Well, Bastien is quite partial to seafood no matter what season it is. That and the fact he managed to fish this poor bastard out himself.
Which leads to the question everyone must have at this point, why is he filming this? It might have something to do with the agonized screams of this bright-colored crustacean.
ARGH! YOU SON OF A WHORE!
[That wasn't Bastien, folks. That was the crawfish.]
That was my leg, ya lil shite! My good leg too!
[Bastien pauses in mid-bite, his teeth clutching the rump of this feisty crustacean.]
Get off me, you nasty bugger! Help! HELP!
[The crawfish’s pleas for help don't fall on deaf ears. Bastien eventually lets the little jerk go. The crawfish curses him the hell out for his transgressions before hopping back into the water with a splash. That's when Bastien turns the screen back to himself with a sigh.]
Thinking of going ’veggies only’ if everything breathin’ howls like that.
[Not all of the marine life talk but that sucker does. It’s rather off-putting.]
Which leads to the question everyone must have at this point, why is he filming this? It might have something to do with the agonized screams of this bright-colored crustacean.
ARGH! YOU SON OF A WHORE!
[That wasn't Bastien, folks. That was the crawfish.]
That was my leg, ya lil shite! My good leg too!
[Bastien pauses in mid-bite, his teeth clutching the rump of this feisty crustacean.]
Get off me, you nasty bugger! Help! HELP!
[The crawfish’s pleas for help don't fall on deaf ears. Bastien eventually lets the little jerk go. The crawfish curses him the hell out for his transgressions before hopping back into the water with a splash. That's when Bastien turns the screen back to himself with a sigh.]
Thinking of going ’veggies only’ if everything breathin’ howls like that.
[Not all of the marine life talk but that sucker does. It’s rather off-putting.]
[Video] un: firefist
[Video] un: thedevilfish
[He lets out a dramatic sigh.]
Just like with those jellyfish aliens. You can't tell me that those things were anything other than sentient fish!
[Video]
[After a pause.] Did you try any of the jellyfish stuff that's being sold? It's food, but... It's kinda gross. Just warning you. I'll eat it, but I'll eat pretty much anything. I don't get sick. But that's pushing the line for me.