teaserving: (i had my chance coming)
big tiddy goth gf ([personal profile] teaserving) wrote in [community profile] prismatica2019-12-03 02:30 pm

SEX ED PART 2 THE RECKONING | video; un: fantasma

[Abbacchio is sitting in his apartment, looking cozy as hell while he's petting a chicken in his lap. Said chicken looks like she's just nested and not going to move for awhile yet. Sanguis is in effect, so he has horns and his hair is just a mass of wool.]

What's up, assholes. It's that time again to reveal my fountain of wisdom.

It's occurred to me that some of you are having a dilemma. A goddamn sexual crisis, if you will. To some of you, this probably makes no sense, so I'll summarize: in most human cultures, opposing genders getting married and popping out babies is considered the norm, and if you don't then old people piss themselves in rage. Or something like that. Everyone's got a difference experience and some people don't care. Fucking cool.

Anyway.

So you came to Lunatia and thought to yourself "nah I definitely like the other gender I'm straight as hell", but now you're confused. Someone of the same sex has bewitched your genitals and heart, and now you're thinking maybe it's not that simple and now you're having a freak out.

[He pauses to have a sip of tea, then goes back to petting Prince the chicken before she starts fretting.]

First off, calm the fuck down. You got a case of bisexual and it's not life ending. I get it, you're discovering new shit about yourself every day. Hell, I didn't think I'd be caught in furry cuddle moonland, but here we are. I promise you no one's gonna give a shit if you suddenly figure out that maybe tits are great after all or that the dick isn't so bad. Or maybe you just wanna hold hands and kiss a little, I don't fucking know. I don't know your life.

But I do know this: it's totally okay. So the question is, how do you figure this shit out? Well, sometimes you gotta experiment. Go on dates, see how it clicks for you. Watch some porn and see what turns you on, that kind of thing. At least, in my experience that's kind of the only way I figured out jack shit personally.

So if you're an alien or from some fantasy land where no one gives a shit about what gender you date, awesome. This doesn't apply to you and it's probably funny that some of us have to deal with this crap. The rest of you that this might apply to, feel free to ask your questions and I'll try to answer.

You're welcome.
starmark: (DAZED ☆ for god's sake just let him rest)

[personal profile] starmark 2019-12-04 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
what about on valentine's day
that's a girl-only holiday

do you just skip valentine's day
do you both do it
do you both have to do white day too then
starmark: (UH ☆ grandpa caesar save me please)

[personal profile] starmark 2019-12-04 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
march 14th

[jotaro you asshole you know that's not what he meant]
starmark: (INSTRUCT ☆ step one: fuck this shit)

[personal profile] starmark 2019-12-04 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
now who's the guy answering questions, huh

[THAT'S NOT EVEN A GOOD ONE-LINER YOU FUCK]

on valentine's day girls make chocolates and give them to guys they know
it's stupid and annoying to have to deal with

anyway then a month later it's white day and guys who got chocolates are supposed to give stuff back to those same girls

that's why you need to know who's who
starmark: (BWUH ☆ those shoes with that shirt)

[personal profile] starmark 2019-12-04 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
i'm not talking about sex ed
i'm talking about things that are hard to talk about with people
especially people you're

whatever, involved with

i'm just saying it's complicated
and sometimes there are rules or whatever that nobody spells out anywhere
which is bullshit
starmark: (UNAMUSED ☆ that's great but can you not)

[personal profile] starmark 2019-12-04 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
[congratulations on correctly determining exactly why his marriage will someday go down in flames, abba, a+ precognition skillz]

don't make it sound like it's so easy
maybe it is for you but not for everyone