prismatica | SEX ED PART 2 THE RECKONING

[Abbacchio is sitting in his apartment, looking cozy as hell while he's petting a chicken in his lap. Said chicken looks like she's just nested and not going to move for awhile yet. Sanguis is in effect, so he has horns and his hair is just a mass of wool.]

What's up, assholes. It's that time again to reveal my fountain of wisdom.

It's occurred to me that some of you are having a dilemma. A goddamn sexual crisis, if you will. To some of you, this probably makes no sense, so I'll summarize: in most human cultures, opposing genders getting married and popping out babies is considered the norm, and if you don't then old people piss themselves in rage. Or something like that. Everyone's got a difference experience and some people don't care. Fucking cool.

Anyway.

So you came to Lunatia and thought to yourself "nah I definitely like the other gender I'm straight as hell", but now you're confused. Someone of the same sex has bewitched your genitals and heart, and now you're thinking maybe it's not that simple and now you're having a freak out.

[He pauses to have a sip of tea, then goes back to petting Prince the chicken before she starts fretting.]

First off, calm the fuck down. You got a case of bisexual and it's not life ending. I get it, you're discovering new shit about yourself every day. Hell, I didn't think I'd be caught in furry cuddle moonland, but here we are. I promise you no one's gonna give a shit if you suddenly figure out that maybe tits are great after all or that the dick isn't so bad. Or maybe you just wanna hold hands and kiss a little, I don't fucking know. I don't know your life.

But I do know this: it's totally okay. So the question is, how do you figure this shit out? Well, sometimes you gotta experiment. Go on dates, see how it clicks for you. Watch some porn and see what turns you on, that kind of thing. At least, in my experience that's kind of the only way I figured out jack shit personally.

So if you're an alien or from some fantasy land where no one gives a shit about what gender you date, awesome. This doesn't apply to you and it's probably funny that some of us have to deal with this crap. The rest of you that this might apply to, feel free to ask your questions and I'll try to answer.

You're welcome.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

j

[ that’s it, that’s the text because he got nervous and freaked out a little ]

Starts with a J...

[

]

...Josuke?!

wha
the fuck
all i did was give you a letter???

It wouldn't be Jotaro because he literally just showed up and you don't even know him, and it's not Joseph because otherwise I would disown you. [okay no he wouldn't but] It can't be Jill or Jolyne because it's a dude. And you hang out with Josuke a shitload so who else would it be, smart guy?

[HE WAS A COP MISTA HE CAN PUT IT TOGETHER]

why are there
so many js
who the fuck is jill
fuck
i
yeah i mean i’m not gonna pretend you’re wrong
we kinda had an agreement
and then three moons
and then i freaked out
and then three moons again

Let me blow your mind even more, most of them can be nicknamed Jojo. Even Giorno when you think about it. Giogio. What the fuck is this, huh.

Okay. And the other guy, is that Okuyasu?

wait
what the fuck

[ oh shit he didn’t answer the other question

a moment later ]

and yeah
that guy

I'm pretty sure they're just friends. But Okuyasu's not a bad kid, you should talk to both of them, okay?

both of them?

Yeah? Being an adult fucking sucks, doesn't it.

well yeah
but why both
because
that might be
a problem
since i kind of already told him
we were just friends
and i mean we are but
there’s some stuff that i might have to explain
that makes it sound different, you know?

Fucking hell, okay. Let's do this.

Let's say Okuyasu is, somehow, dating Josuke in the future. What would you tell him?

you mean like stuff that happened?
or in general
because i guess i would feel like i need to say
like we kissed but not really go into detail?
or you know just say the same thing and
back off

Okay. And let's say that he isn't. Then what?

look abbacchio
i'll be honest
i'm not sure what you want me to tell him
because i mean
holy shit
he wanted to kick my ass before because he thought i was flirting with him??
how good do you think it's gonna go over if i just walk up and say
hey so we totally made out
and i liked it and he bit me and i got a boner
and then i freaked out and still made out with him again the next
fucking day
how well do you think
that's gonna go
i mean really
dude

wait fuck
that was all
hypothetical
don't take it
seriously
okay?

Look. I don't care whatever boner you got from whoever.

[MAN THIS IS A MESS HUH...]

I'm not gonna tell you what to say. I'm asking you hypothetical situations so you can figure out what you want and what you might decide on.

Bottom line, talk to Josuke first. Then you both need to sort shit out with Okuyasu. It could just be a misunderstanding or maybe you're right about the future thing. Crazier shit has happened.

i told you
i t was hypothetical
so
i mean that part doesn't matter anyway
but okay
yeah
i'll talk to josuke first
thanks...
sorry i took up so much time

Hey. It's cool.

I really hope you get shit worked out, okay?

yeah, me too
i'd say i'll keep you updated
but i'm not sure you really wanna know
thanks again

SEX ED PART 2 THE RECKONING | video; un: fantasma

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