ᴘᴀɴᴛʏ ᴀɴᴀʀᴄʜʏ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
angelshot) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica2019-12-05 05:36 pm
angelshot) wrote in prismatica2019-12-05 05:36 pm
Video | UN: pumpaction
Yo. What's up, my nerdlings?
[ Oh look, it's the resident pain in the ass, looking incredibly bored as usual minus some new Dragon-y qualities. Don't mind the horns or scales, it's perfectly mundane. What's a little less mundane is the massive pile of ladies underwear haphazardly dumped on her bed beside her, or the fact she's twirling an expensive looking red number around a finger. ]
So get this. Found a shop that was having a massive sale on top of the line puss purses, right? Like, "blowout bonanza everything must go" kind of thing. Probably a holiday cash grab.
Anyway.
Turns out they were full of shit, because these fucking suck. Check this out -
[ One twirl, two twirls, and -- SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER those classy panties are suddenly a gun!
Which is all well and good, except for when she goes to rack the slide back, there's an audible 'twang' and the thing more or less disintegrates into springs and screws and various gun parts in her hands. ]
- "quality lingerie", my ass!
[ Gun? Tossed somewhere behind her out of frame, complete with the comical metallic crashing of bits going everywhere. There must be a pretty sizable reject pile with that amount of noise.
One down, a billion to go. Panty reaches for another pair to run through the usual Backlace quality control checklist. ]
If you plan to buy your girlfriend some fancy bra and thong combo for Christmas, take my advice: don't. It'll be an even bigger disappointment than your performance in the sack.
[ Oh look, it's the resident pain in the ass, looking incredibly bored as usual minus some new Dragon-y qualities. Don't mind the horns or scales, it's perfectly mundane. What's a little less mundane is the massive pile of ladies underwear haphazardly dumped on her bed beside her, or the fact she's twirling an expensive looking red number around a finger. ]
So get this. Found a shop that was having a massive sale on top of the line puss purses, right? Like, "blowout bonanza everything must go" kind of thing. Probably a holiday cash grab.
Anyway.
Turns out they were full of shit, because these fucking suck. Check this out -
[ One twirl, two twirls, and -- SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER those classy panties are suddenly a gun!
Which is all well and good, except for when she goes to rack the slide back, there's an audible 'twang' and the thing more or less disintegrates into springs and screws and various gun parts in her hands. ]
- "quality lingerie", my ass!
[ Gun? Tossed somewhere behind her out of frame, complete with the comical metallic crashing of bits going everywhere. There must be a pretty sizable reject pile with that amount of noise.
One down, a billion to go. Panty reaches for another pair to run through the usual Backlace quality control checklist. ]
If you plan to buy your girlfriend some fancy bra and thong combo for Christmas, take my advice: don't. It'll be an even bigger disappointment than your performance in the sack.
no subject
After a brief delay to carefully and neatly put the pair of panties she's about to test down beside her, she reaches over and flips the device facedown so there's just a black video feed. ]
How's that for my next trick? Fuck off.
no subject
She doesn't hang up on him, she just makes the camera face down? Interesting...
Larry puts a hand on his mouth to muffle his own words with a panicked tone, as if he were trapped in the device and being forced to be face-down was suffocating him.]
Mmph!! Mnnh mmdn mm mhh!
no subject
Maybe muting would've been a better move on her part. ]
What the hell...?
no subject
As soon as he sees even a glimpse of light from the camera he drops his hand and gasps deeply.]
Oh, thank God! I thought you were gonna kill me again!
[Why is he so adamantly jovial about this punchline?]
no subject
[ Kill him again...? BRUH THAT WAS YOUR OWN FAULT
she ain't taking responsibility are you kidding]I didn't do jack squat to you. The hell are you talking about?
no subject
[Well, she doesn't remember his name, so it only goes to reason...]
Around Halloween? Spooky hands?
You didn't want to say what love meant to you.
no subject
[ Plan A: DENY ALL RESPONSIBILITY. It hasn't failed her yet. ]
Let me save us both a headache. Guilt tripping isn't gonna work, so don't bother.
no subject
[He holds up a hand dismissively.]
I wouldn't know how to answer that question, either! It's a good thing it was one of those one-way questions, or we could've ended up going the same way!
no subject
[ Like that makes Larry's situation better???? Look, she's just very unapologetic about all this. Gomen. ]
no subject
[Let him die just because you didn't want to talk about it?]
...Why?
no subject
[ Pretty much. Look at how she treats Brief, and that's in keeping with her usual behaviour. ]
Nobody's owed answers to anything. Not here, not in Daten City, not even in Heaven. Tough titty.
no subject
[Larry runs a thumb across his jaw thoughtfully.]
It must be a pretty sensitive subject for you!