Video | UN: pumpaction

[angelshot]

Yo. What's up, my nerdlings?

[ Oh look, it's the resident pain in the ass, looking incredibly bored as usual minus some new Dragon-y qualities. Don't mind the horns or scales, it's perfectly mundane. What's a little less mundane is the massive pile of ladies underwear haphazardly dumped on her bed beside her, or the fact she's twirling an expensive looking red number around a finger. ]

So get this. Found a shop that was having a massive sale on top of the line puss purses, right? Like, "blowout bonanza everything must go" kind of thing. Probably a holiday cash grab.

Anyway.

Turns out they were full of shit, because these fucking suck. Check this out -

[ One twirl, two twirls, and -- SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER those classy panties are suddenly a gun!
Which is all well and good, except for when she goes to rack the slide back, there's an audible 'twang' and the thing more or less disintegrates into springs and screws and various gun parts in her hands. ]

- "quality lingerie", my ass!

[ Gun? Tossed somewhere behind her out of frame, complete with the comical metallic crashing of bits going everywhere. There must be a pretty sizable reject pile with that amount of noise.
One down, a billion to go. Panty reaches for another pair to run through the usual Backlace quality control checklist. ]

If you plan to buy your girlfriend some fancy bra and thong combo for Christmas, take my advice: don't. It'll be an even bigger disappointment than your performance in the sack.

Comments

video | un: lightning

[lightningruins]

Disappointing, or easy to tear off?

[angelshot]

If you go around tearing a girl's expensive shit, you're asking to get sent to the hospital with a busted nose. That's a whole other kettle of fish.

[lightningruins]

Yeah but if I'm buying them for her, then I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want with them, and if these aren't great quality [which is clearly what happened there, with the whole turning-underwear-into-a-gun thing] then it's not like I'm wrecking something nice.

[angelshot]

The problem is, these were expensive as hell! I paid for quality and got jack shit.

But if you're buying from a five dollar bargain bin then yeah okay you get what you paid for. Tear it up like tissue paper if you want. Nobody cares.

video

[loungelizard]

Oh, that's a neat party trick!

[He usually considers negging below him, but...in his defense, she did kind of kill him.]

LARRY... YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER...

[angelshot]

"Party trick", my hot white ass. You'd best be joking.

does he though...does he really,

[loungelizard]

Well, I hope it is! After all, I can't imagine a gorgeous bombshell like you would go around hurting people with guns.

video | un: demonchef

[satanslash]

"Puss purs--"

[He was originally more focused on that... very odd phrase than the pile of panties, but the fact that she just turned one into a gun - albeit a now broken one - kind of takes precedent for someone who has never seen that before.]

WHOA! How'd you do that?!

[angelshot]

What?

[ Panty glances down at the newest pair of underwear she's about to put through the wringer (black with pink lace this time), thinks hard about how to explain the ~ long and arduous ~ process of how heavenly weapons work, and eventually settles for making a "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" noise.
So helpful, Panty. Great job. ]

You just... grab a pair and make it into a gun? It's easy.

[ #restofthefuckingowl ]

[satanslash]

[YOUR EXPERIENCES ARE NOT UNIVERSAL, PANTY.]

That's... not somethin' I can do. That's not somethin' I've seen anyone do.

text | un: fantasma

[teaserving]

god damn it
i have some returns to make

i mean also fucking neat you turned panties into a gun but more importantly i fucking wasted my time and money

[angelshot]

hell yeah you do dont settle for less

if they even let you return them you mean
so many shops just roll with a 'too bad bitch learn to live with it' policy you might have to break some skulls to get them to man up

[teaserving]

oh i'll fucking bust some skulls all right
i paid way too much for this shit for them to rip on me!!

[Video]

[sheisthewind]

That's an interesting power. So the quality of the garment affects the quality of the weapon you can make?

[angelshot]

Bingo.

Shit material means a shit weapon. Can't go around kicking ass with a bootleg reject, you know? Even worse, cheap fabric will net you a nasty rash half the time, and nobody needs to see that mess.

[sheisthewind]

What a perfect gift to give someone you don't like.

audio | un: simonprime

[theseuschip]

You wear them and also turn them into guns? I mean... what? Why lingerie?

[angelshot]

Why not?

Easier than carrying around a gunbelt. Try accessorizing around that fashion disaster without looking like a total freakshow.

[theseuschip]

I mean, how...

How do you even find out you can do that?

text | un: Оцелотовая Хватка

[ocelthot]

->buying on sale
->not buying custom work

I think I see your problem.

[angelshot]

yeah big fucking mistake right

lesson learned

[ocelthot]

Seriously, any gun should have at least some modification or custom work to have them operate best for you.

If the quality and style of the lingerie determines the quality and model of the gun, why wouldn't you order something custom to determine exactly what you create with it?

Video; UN:revolving

[m19_lover]

[Who cares about cheap underwear when...]

H-How did you do that?? [Jigen is far more surprised and interested on how she turned underwear into a gun.]

[angelshot]

[ Who cares? Rude! Ladies underwear is serious business, okay? ]

Angel. It's kind of what we do.

[m19_lover]

What you mean it's what you "do"?? I don't recall ever reading about angels materializing guns from underwear! [That doesn't even make sense!]