Video | UN: pumpaction

[angelshot]

Yo. What's up, my nerdlings?

[ Oh look, it's the resident pain in the ass, looking incredibly bored as usual minus some new Dragon-y qualities. Don't mind the horns or scales, it's perfectly mundane. What's a little less mundane is the massive pile of ladies underwear haphazardly dumped on her bed beside her, or the fact she's twirling an expensive looking red number around a finger. ]

So get this. Found a shop that was having a massive sale on top of the line puss purses, right? Like, "blowout bonanza everything must go" kind of thing. Probably a holiday cash grab.

Anyway.

Turns out they were full of shit, because these fucking suck. Check this out -

[ One twirl, two twirls, and -- SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER those classy panties are suddenly a gun!
Which is all well and good, except for when she goes to rack the slide back, there's an audible 'twang' and the thing more or less disintegrates into springs and screws and various gun parts in her hands. ]

- "quality lingerie", my ass!

[ Gun? Tossed somewhere behind her out of frame, complete with the comical metallic crashing of bits going everywhere. There must be a pretty sizable reject pile with that amount of noise.
One down, a billion to go. Panty reaches for another pair to run through the usual Backlace quality control checklist. ]

If you plan to buy your girlfriend some fancy bra and thong combo for Christmas, take my advice: don't. It'll be an even bigger disappointment than your performance in the sack.

Comments

Video; UN:revolving

[m19_lover]

[Who cares about cheap underwear when...]

H-How did you do that?? [Jigen is far more surprised and interested on how she turned underwear into a gun.]

[angelshot]

[ Who cares? Rude! Ladies underwear is serious business, okay? ]

Angel. It's kind of what we do.

[m19_lover]

What you mean it's what you "do"?? I don't recall ever reading about angels materializing guns from underwear! [That doesn't even make sense!]

[angelshot]

And you not knowing squat about Angels is my problem because...?

[ Please, do tell her how to do her job. Really. She's awful at it. ]

[m19_lover]

I'm just saying there's absolutely no reason for angels to be turning things into guns! Aren't angels supposed to have stuff like divine powers and use spears and whatnot?

[Sorry, he can't help her with that... He only knows how to be a criminal.]

I sure as hell would remember if the bible mentioned guns!

[angelshot]

Yeah, like in the fucking stone age, maybe. You think anyone with half a brain is gonna roll with a spear when there's better tech out there?

[ Like she's any better. Panty ain't gonna judge his lifestyle. ]

Maybe it was mentioned in the margins or something. I dunno.

[m19_lover]

[OK she does have a point about not using old weaponry but still...]

Why is this place like this? Why is everything so weird and the complete opposite of what I expect? [He's saying that more to himself than anything, please don't mind his existential crisis.]

Well, it's a neat trick either way. Sure wish I could do something like that.

[angelshot]

You'll get used to it.

[ It's a literal 'do sexy things, get money' equation! C'mon, that's pretty rad! ]

Might be something similar here for sale in one of the shops, who knows? Just try not to shoot your dick off by accident.

[m19_lover]

Probably, but it'll sure take a while...

[This poor man is too old fashioned for this type of deal.]

I will be very surprised if I had any type of gun-related accident. [He didn't train with guns for over 20 years to end up shooting his dick off!]