prismatica | voice ; un: carcinoGeneticist ; love lessons

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voice ; un: carcinoGeneticist ; love lessons

[ The day had long since begun but the room on the video feed was dark. The curtains off frame were drawn but filtered enough light through the fabric for the scene to be visible, though the room remained suitably dimmed for the nocturnal owner of the Level 2 apartment. A moderate sized whiteboard had been haphazardly, but securely, taped against a wall by its uppermost edge. Symbols had been drawn upon the canvas: a red heart, a red diamond; to their right was a black spade, and a black club. The heart and spade were beside one another with the diamond and club below them in a symmetrical arrangement. It was a rough, messy diagram, but it served its purpose. A few seconds of fumbling and screen shaking later seemed to settle the recording device against whatever it had propped itself upon. A small, grey hand slapped a blank section of the board with a misleading amount of force. ]

Can everybody stop their jerk-off small talk circles for a minute and actually pay attention to something important?

[ The owner of the demanding voice shuffled into frame. From the mussed up hair, dark circles beneath his eyes, and the sagging of his shoulders, it was apparent that this small alien was up far past his bedtime. Despite how his withered posture was borderline drowning in his dark sweater, the insistence in his voice was clear. He had something to say and he was going to make damn sure that people heard it. ]

I know you sorry sacks of shit go feral over all of this Moonlacing crap, but your lack of social awareness is fucking abysmal. For my sake, your sake, and the sake of any future trolls that find their unfortunate carcasses dragged into cuddlefuck hell, I'm going to take one for the team and attempt to educate you about Quadrants.

[ The clawed pointer finger of his right hand gestured to the top row of symbols: the red heart and the black spade. It tapped beside the heart first. ]

I know you filthy degenerates are going to want to jump right into the relationships that focus on burying your bulge. Red romance, Matespritship, is the closest equivalent we have to a human's stunted romantic relationships. It's a bond built on pity, affection, and mating fondness. That should be an easy springboard to stimulate your Godawful sponges by shoving something familiar under your noses. Unlike humans, we aren't so primitive as to restrict or discourage relationships based on genders. All of our sexual organs are structured the same way and are viable for producing reproductive slurry. I'm not going to shit on any troll who has a masculine or feminine preference in their pailing partners, but that's an aesthetic choice and not something imposed on them by society. Seriously, what the fuck are humans even doing?

[ Karkat raised his hand and then tapped beside the black spade symbol. ]

Now we're getting into shit that your spongecells are going to struggle to comprehend. Black romance, like red romance, is a sexually aligned quadrant. Take all of that positive energy I just mentioned and kick the everloving shit out of it. Kismesissitude is a quadrant that thrives on frustration, hatred, and mating fondness. They don't piss you off enough for you to want to kill them, but fuck do you ever just want to dig your teeth into their smug asses and show them their place. A strong pair of Kismesis will always push each other to do better and will probably rip the throat out of any troll who thinks they're hot shit enough to lay a malicious finger on their partner. The two points of a black romance that humans always neglect to realise is: both parties share the same feelings for one another, and mutual respect is key. Red romances and black romances are both equally as intense and trolls sure as hell can flip back and forth between them both before settling their shit and committing.

[ The troll screwed his eyes shut and soothed the bridge of his nose with his left hand. The subtle, yellow glow of his eyes peeked through his fingers until he lowered his hand. A beat and a breath later, and he gestured to the bottom row of symbols. A firm tap of two fingers indicated that the diamond would be the first choice of topic. ]

The last two Quadrants are platonic attractions. Troll romance extends beyond an excuse to get your graspers all over your partner. Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant, and is based upon positive emotions not unlike red romance. Your Moirail exists to keep you grounded, and vice versa - pull your fucking weight and pap them once in a while. They're somebody you trust enough to be vulnerable around, to be soothed by, to let all that shit off your shoulders that's making your torso pillar buckle. A Moirail is especially important for Highblooded trolls who can flip their shit and massacre a small subgrub because they rolled out of the wrong side of their cocoon. Again, mating is not a part of a pale romance. There can be exceptions, such as each lacking a red partner during drone season, or for the sake of helping their partner through a reeeally fucking awful heat cycle, but the nature of the relationship in itself is completely platonic. You shouldn't fuck your Moirail.

[ Onto the last one. God, how can this guy talk for so long? Though he steadily seems to be running out of steam he seems no less enthusiastic. The black club symbol is tapped. ]

Auspisticism, you guessed it, has its roots in negative emotions. Say you have a pair of trolls who are God fucking awful for one another and are vacillating from black romance into platonic, murderous intent every other wipe. They need an Auspistice. They're mediators and keep shit from going south, romantically or otherwise, so thank fuck for that. Trolls kill each other enough even with Auspistices managing unstable Kismesissitudes. A troll can Auspise multiple black, or potential black, pairings. As long as they're capable and don't neglect one for the other. That's how unfortunate bastards end up dead after a black fling gone globes-up.

[ Karkat straightened his posture and took a long, deep breath. He jabbed a finger towards his communication device. ]

Now there's no excuse for you snivelling shitstains to claim ignorance. I laid it all out on a metaphorical nutrient plateau in the most painfully simple manner that I could manage. A couple of minor details to prevent questions from cropping up: Lowblooded Quadmates are permitted to wear the colours of their Highblooded partners to prevent pissing anybody off with a wrongful culling, and traditionally you only have one pairing of each quadrant. Except Auspisticism, but I just fucking went over that, so whatever.

[ The troll shifted his stance and wearily soothed the back of his neck. ]

Ask questions. As long as you aren't making me repeat myself I probably wont berate you about them.

[ Probably. End video. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Isn't that the point of this whole thing, to make people aware that this sort of relationship is a thing?

I wouldn't have cared if your comment had been more specific. But people idly browse internet threads all the time, and your comment hit a nerve because it came across as implying there's no way to date multiple people or to date someone who's dating someone else without being an asshole. That's something I struggled with a lot, and I do still see people here voicing that opinion.

So, if a random person browsing threads under a post might read something and feel like it applies to them, you're probably being a bit too general in your teasing insults.

okay but
its for trolls and i kinda know what im talking about
do what you wanna do man im not your mom

i dont know whats worse
the idea youre still bitching about something you got no idea about all while telling me i can do what i need to do with my buddy and then bitching that i did
or
that youre not karkat trying desperately to troll someone finally under the idea youre still bitching about something you got no idea about all while telling me i can do what i need to do with my buddy and then bitching that i did

like you must have a fucking blood pressure most wish was a bank balance
you gotta chill out man youre gonna explode the vein in your forehead

Have you ever heard the saying 'if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it's probably a duck'?
If what he's describing perfectly fits how I feel toward someone, maybe what I feel toward him is that thing.
Maybe you should pause to consider why you're so adamant that humans can't have relationships like that.

What I'm saying is, the teasing is fine, but if a comment needs context to not sound like it's a broad insult, don't make it in public.
Otherwise, people who overhear it, don't know the context, and fit the general terms used will feel insulted.
I have a friend of my own who likes to reference memes.
If I made a public comment to her claiming that doing it made her an unoriginal asshole, would you be able to tell the insult didn't apply to you too?

nope i havent
im so adamant because im one of three literal rulers of the earth c troll kingdom
but go ahead tell me more guy i dont know who is going to give themselves a woke scold aneurysm

ah man good thing you told me teasing is fine
shit i was worried there a second
not as worried as i am about your actual health if you live your life this way but...
i would be able to tell yeah cause im not going looking for shit to be offended by

Ah, and that means you have a perfect understanding of how all humans' emotions work.
So then, how would you describe the difference between a rival that one finds extremely obnoxious but also extremely attractive and fun to fight with, without actually wanting to do anything to them they won't recover from, and a kismessis?
Without bringing species into it.

I'm concerned about people genuinely shaming the idea of multiple partners.
Like I said, it's something I have seen people do.
And some people do care about public opinion.
I don't want people who are still insecure about the idea seeing people talking about it like that and thinking there's something wrong with them.

okay but you have to because this is for trolls my dude
no it means im telling you your attributing troll shit that doesnt belong to a human emotion mainly because its for example not for you to live by
neither of us are trolls and im betting youre not dating a troll so...? how is this something about trolls

good thats great
now lets try an exercise
try breathing in and letting that air out
you might literally think its breathe in and then breathe in again but no trust me on this one
you want out first and then in again
then rinse repeat until youre chilled the fuck out man
like im not even fucking with you anymore im just worried youre going to die and itll be on my hands because you fucking exploded veins somewhere in your brain
im not about that just chill dude

They have a word for it, and neither human language I'm familiar with does.
How would you describe it, in a way that doesn't give the implication that it's not actually a happy and stable relationship?
Or leaves out the romantic connotations entirely.

Look, this is just a topic I'm sensitive about.
I've seen a lot of cheating assholes, and spent a long time thinking I was just a measure of self-control away from being the same as them.
Like I said, it struck a nerve, because there are people who really do think that.
And I know it's not their business as long as my partners are content, but people spread gossip about things that are none of their business all the time.
It's something you learn to be wary of when you're high profile with a fickle public.

no homo but were i with a dude or a chick i guess id describe them as "my partner" or partners if you really needed that extra zing
i bet if you say something about another partner right after whoever it is is going to get that youre poly and move on
if they dont or they start being a little cry baby-back bitch i suggest a good ol fashioned nancy sinatra and walk the fuck away with both birds flying high

cool story in the way it isnt a cool story at all but i dont know what that has to do with me and chill time with my best friend

That would leave most people assuming a relationship built mainly on traditional affection.
If I told someone I fought my partner on the rooftops, they'd worry that the relationship was having problems.
If I told someone I fought my rival on the rooftops, they'd think it was impressive but wouldn't register that it was a date.
That's my problem, no human word I know of conveys both sides of it.

It has to do with me being twitchy about things that make it seem like someone is implying there's something wrong with having multiple partners.
And to do with flipping them off and saying to hell with their opinion being easier said than done.

you asked i answered
i shouldve bought your thesis to study for this test from
i didnt realize there couldnt be multiple answers other than yours

no its really easy
i can show you how
you make a fist like youre gonna punch someone
but it comes with a twist
you lift up both your middle fingers while simultaneously walking the direction theyre not in

You're the one insisting what I feel can't be what your friend is describing.
Have you considered maybe it's something that's not mainstream enough in any human culture for there to be a word for it, so we need to use theirs?
That's how loanwords happen all the time.

I know how to flip someone off.
The part that's difficult is not caring if it leads to them shit talking me behind my back.
It's a work in progress.

nope wrong again
okay sure appropriate troll culture
youre squawking like i care what you actually do im just telling you what i know

who cares if they do
if theyre already being a dickhole to your face of course theyre talking behind your back
fuck em
re: who cares?
you let them win when you give a shit bro lol

The troll giving this lesson seemed to be in agreement that it's the same thing.
So it's this, or make up an entirely new word.
Unless you can come up with an actual way it's different that isn't based on the assumption that romance based on antagonistic feelings isn't something humans do.

You...have a point about them winning, though.
The people who spread the kind of sensationalist garbage I worry about are people like that Skeeter woman, who are actively looking to get under people's skin.
And a surprising number of people actually realized she was full of shit.

yeah "the troll" has a name speaking of offensive shit mister sensitive
i dont know what you want from me and i cant help all the shit youve gone through
do what you want cause youre going to and im not the one to tell you you cant whichs been my point
mainly cause i got no energy to bother to tell you when youre gonna run around in circles
do whatever man

yeah again i have no clue who that is and dont really care who they are
they sound like a useless waste of air if theyre gonna be like that
if someones a dumb bitch in my general direction theyll get told theyre being a dumb bitch in my general direction so
yeah
thats my point
just let people make asses of themselves because the asses usually do
lemme recap for you
both birds
walk away
in out breathing in that order unless you just breathed in then its out in
i dont know what else you want from me

A name that he didn't give. Unless his culture has very different naming conventions from what I'm used to, and it matches his SN.

Useless waste of air sounds about right.
She's a tabloid journalist that showed up here, and that should tell you all you need to know.
But, all that really bothered me here was the implication that you were conflating polyamory or related arrangements with using someone.
It's obvious by now that you weren't actually serious about that, so I am sorry about the tone I took.
But I still think it needed to be pointed out that it's not the case, with the chances that it might reinforce shitty beliefs from cultures that shame anything but monogamy.

didnt ask either just dehumanized him
poor guy
see how easy it is? finding shit to be offended about?
pretty easy man
i dont care he wouldnt care about you knowing his name either
im just making a point

ah yeah i still dont care either way about her
if shes being a bitch just tell her shes being a bitch and she can quote you on it
journalists love quotes
no i was bsing with my best friend about shit you know nothing about like i said man
it really doesnt need to be pointed out at all dude like i dont care how many fourty person sword fights a guy gets into or who does what with how many people because it isnt my bag either

[[Mainly because there's someone trying to force the situation on him if he likes it or not. But it's besides the point.]]

I'm not entirely sure that word works when you're actually talking about a different species.
But that's back on the subject of things the languages we're familiar with just aren't adapted to handle.

She's an idiot, and it was nice to see people call her one instead of buying her bullshit.

My point is that other people who might be more nervous about admitting to wanting to date multiple people would also know shit about what you were talking about.
Also, it's hard to tell when someone's bullshitting over text.
Would you care if they saw that comment, then felt more afraid what they wanted was wrong?
Especially since it IS easy to be an asshole about it, and it's the assholes that get talked about.

full disclosure i really dont care what you do with it
too much energy to care and i got better things to do
go on and say whatever you want wherever you want about troll culture words

good
thats how shit happens man just sit back and let it

that sounds like a them problem not a rando on the network problem and if theyre that unsure its still a them not a me
just like if i had an insecurity its a me not a someone else
would i care? yeah
would that be my fault? nope they already felt that way before i ever came along and are using whatever they would have been looking for as an excuse
loaded question and i dont like hypotheticals that arent irony or comedy

Maybe I should just take a cue from your friend and make a PSA on the subject.
It'd probably be more effective than addressing individual bits of possible misinformation.

A less rambling one, though.

if you wanna bro
i wouldnt say he rambled though he pretty much said what needed to be said about it
pretty sure that anyone who is actually going to give a shit already knows though
i dont even give a shit about poly relationships unless someones hurting one of my friends in them and i already know

I've actually had to tell some people about them, and I didn't know when I got here.
Some of us come from very restrictive cultures.
Hell, mine tries to tell you that you only love one person, ever.
And yes, I know that's bullshit.
So I'd be more surprised if there wasn't anyone it was relevant to who didn't already know.

im not going to broad brush im just saying do what you want man
be the best you
spread your wings and fly
for you things are bullshit but for other people not so much
if you wanna tell the world ill tell you what i wouldve told karkat if he asked me before spewing this off

it would have looked like this:

okay

It wouldn't really be for the people who don't deal with that bullshit.
I'm mostly concerned about people from the same country as me, since there's apparently a lot of us.
And I'm going to guess you're not from Japan.

cool
especially when people who dont deal with that bullshit dont deal with that bullshit
how about i save your middle fingers so much work and suggest you just put out like a psa that youre there to talk to people who want to talk about it
never mind trying to educate masses including people who dont care? they dont care for a reason or reasons

im pretty sure we come from different worlds so i dont know what your japan does or doesnt do in comparison to mine

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voice ; un: carcinoGeneticist ; love lessons

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He's not wrong about the blood pressure...

this poor darling man

He's usually stressed 25/8, and that's without time travel.

sweet god how has he not had a heart attack lol

It's a wonder, especially since he's also a coffee addict.

id be dead ten times in a minute

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