voice ; un: carcinoGeneticist ; love lessons

[mutantblood]

[ The day had long since begun but the room on the video feed was dark. The curtains off frame were drawn but filtered enough light through the fabric for the scene to be visible, though the room remained suitably dimmed for the nocturnal owner of the Level 2 apartment. A moderate sized whiteboard had been haphazardly, but securely, taped against a wall by its uppermost edge. Symbols had been drawn upon the canvas: a red heart, a red diamond; to their right was a black spade, and a black club. The heart and spade were beside one another with the diamond and club below them in a symmetrical arrangement. It was a rough, messy diagram, but it served its purpose. A few seconds of fumbling and screen shaking later seemed to settle the recording device against whatever it had propped itself upon. A small, grey hand slapped a blank section of the board with a misleading amount of force. ]

Can everybody stop their jerk-off small talk circles for a minute and actually pay attention to something important?

[ The owner of the demanding voice shuffled into frame. From the mussed up hair, dark circles beneath his eyes, and the sagging of his shoulders, it was apparent that this small alien was up far past his bedtime. Despite how his withered posture was borderline drowning in his dark sweater, the insistence in his voice was clear. He had something to say and he was going to make damn sure that people heard it. ]

I know you sorry sacks of shit go feral over all of this Moonlacing crap, but your lack of social awareness is fucking abysmal. For my sake, your sake, and the sake of any future trolls that find their unfortunate carcasses dragged into cuddlefuck hell, I'm going to take one for the team and attempt to educate you about Quadrants.

[ The clawed pointer finger of his right hand gestured to the top row of symbols: the red heart and the black spade. It tapped beside the heart first. ]

I know you filthy degenerates are going to want to jump right into the relationships that focus on burying your bulge. Red romance, Matespritship, is the closest equivalent we have to a human's stunted romantic relationships. It's a bond built on pity, affection, and mating fondness. That should be an easy springboard to stimulate your Godawful sponges by shoving something familiar under your noses. Unlike humans, we aren't so primitive as to restrict or discourage relationships based on genders. All of our sexual organs are structured the same way and are viable for producing reproductive slurry. I'm not going to shit on any troll who has a masculine or feminine preference in their pailing partners, but that's an aesthetic choice and not something imposed on them by society. Seriously, what the fuck are humans even doing?

[ Karkat raised his hand and then tapped beside the black spade symbol. ]

Now we're getting into shit that your spongecells are going to struggle to comprehend. Black romance, like red romance, is a sexually aligned quadrant. Take all of that positive energy I just mentioned and kick the everloving shit out of it. Kismesissitude is a quadrant that thrives on frustration, hatred, and mating fondness. They don't piss you off enough for you to want to kill them, but fuck do you ever just want to dig your teeth into their smug asses and show them their place. A strong pair of Kismesis will always push each other to do better and will probably rip the throat out of any troll who thinks they're hot shit enough to lay a malicious finger on their partner. The two points of a black romance that humans always neglect to realise is: both parties share the same feelings for one another, and mutual respect is key. Red romances and black romances are both equally as intense and trolls sure as hell can flip back and forth between them both before settling their shit and committing.

[ The troll screwed his eyes shut and soothed the bridge of his nose with his left hand. The subtle, yellow glow of his eyes peeked through his fingers until he lowered his hand. A beat and a breath later, and he gestured to the bottom row of symbols. A firm tap of two fingers indicated that the diamond would be the first choice of topic. ]

The last two Quadrants are platonic attractions. Troll romance extends beyond an excuse to get your graspers all over your partner. Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant, and is based upon positive emotions not unlike red romance. Your Moirail exists to keep you grounded, and vice versa - pull your fucking weight and pap them once in a while. They're somebody you trust enough to be vulnerable around, to be soothed by, to let all that shit off your shoulders that's making your torso pillar buckle. A Moirail is especially important for Highblooded trolls who can flip their shit and massacre a small subgrub because they rolled out of the wrong side of their cocoon. Again, mating is not a part of a pale romance. There can be exceptions, such as each lacking a red partner during drone season, or for the sake of helping their partner through a reeeally fucking awful heat cycle, but the nature of the relationship in itself is completely platonic. You shouldn't fuck your Moirail.

[ Onto the last one. God, how can this guy talk for so long? Though he steadily seems to be running out of steam he seems no less enthusiastic. The black club symbol is tapped. ]

Auspisticism, you guessed it, has its roots in negative emotions. Say you have a pair of trolls who are God fucking awful for one another and are vacillating from black romance into platonic, murderous intent every other wipe. They need an Auspistice. They're mediators and keep shit from going south, romantically or otherwise, so thank fuck for that. Trolls kill each other enough even with Auspistices managing unstable Kismesissitudes. A troll can Auspise multiple black, or potential black, pairings. As long as they're capable and don't neglect one for the other. That's how unfortunate bastards end up dead after a black fling gone globes-up.

[ Karkat straightened his posture and took a long, deep breath. He jabbed a finger towards his communication device. ]

Now there's no excuse for you snivelling shitstains to claim ignorance. I laid it all out on a metaphorical nutrient plateau in the most painfully simple manner that I could manage. A couple of minor details to prevent questions from cropping up: Lowblooded Quadmates are permitted to wear the colours of their Highblooded partners to prevent pissing anybody off with a wrongful culling, and traditionally you only have one pairing of each quadrant. Except Auspisticism, but I just fucking went over that, so whatever.

[ The troll shifted his stance and wearily soothed the back of his neck. ]

Ask questions. As long as you aren't making me repeat myself I probably wont berate you about them.

[ Probably. End video. ]

Comments

I have been WAITING for something like this...

[foolishjustice]

Wait...

[A beat, as he stares at the camera. And then...]

There's a word for when you want to punch someone and kiss them at the same time?

[Text; un: turntechGodhead] oh my god this post lmao

[itsknighttime]

excuse me teacher i have a question
i have my hand up and everything
dont ask how im holding my device and typing if i have one hand up

[[No he doesn't. But he will make shit up just to be a dickhole.]]

Welcome to your worst nightmare

[deathboss]

Why the hell is this so damn important?

text; un: ruffestrabbit

[zunge]

Are you always this longwinded? It sounds like each of these could be summed up as mutually beneficial arrangements that are all slightly different from each other. I fail to see what makes it important for everyone here to know, though. Just how many trolls do you expect the humans here to run into?

Video - UN: hopefulfuture

[despairing_hope]

You say all of that like it's complicated, but, it's not really that alien. Humans have these sorts of feelings, they're just not categorized like that.

[He couldn't help but sigh. What was the point?]

This is a bit of a waste of time, and a presumption that this information on how you manage your love life matters to anyone else.

Are we suppose to care?

video ; because u knew it was coming

[cadeuces]

( This icon is exactly her face rn. )

"Pap"? I imagine that doesn't mean what I understand it to mean. It's interesting to hear many of these categorized as various aspects of romance, however. They're all important emotions and relationships, you're right about that. I've never heard of social structures that support having an outlet for negative emotions, though, and that's quite fascinating, really.

It makes sense from what I understand of the culture you spoke of before. Though it makes me wonder where I'd fit in.

( Speak the forbidden words, hissing cockroach alien son. Tell her she's your mom-rail. )

text; UN: Persephone

[ragingnature]

Thank you for your explanation on how your people view various romantic entanglements. [ She has to wonder what Aphrodite or Eros would think of all this. ]

Though I do echo the sentiment as to why this is so important for everyone else here to know. I don't ask to be combative I'm simply curious.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... This seems like the structure was made to be intentionally overcomplicated?

Like it was designed specifically to seem wide open but in reality be very culturally restrictive?

video; un: aphrodite

[wingstosee]

[ venus is doing her best to listen. honest to god, she really is. but there's just so much? there's so much and nobody understands. especially her.

so she just... turns on the video. and raises her hand. it's not even a sarcastic gesture, it just seemed appropriate? ]

[teaserving]

oh my fucking god i would rather fist myself than listen to this again

video because he's currently still a cat | un: Оцелотовая Хватка

[ocelthot]

Frankly this is over complicating things.

And I object to the first two needing to be two different things.

text | username: absterge

[downswing]

You are in... kismesissitude with your listeners?




( IS HE RIGHT, DID HE GET IT RIGHT, IS THERE AN AWARD. )

un: TheHollowKnight

[instilled]

Emotions certainly are complicated.

audio

[darkcharge]

Never, in my life, did I ever think I would meet someone that liked to listen to himself talk more than the old man.

I guess I still can be surprised.

un: no

[terribletwos]

[ Hating the network is still a thing and will continue to be a thing for probably a long time, but learning about Moonlacing seems important here. And Roxas can't quell the endless curiosity that drives him in his need to learn more about the world he now lives in. He finds himself particularly interested in the explanations of Kismesissitude and Moirail. Even if this explanation does seem to go on for literally ever and there are a good many words that he will probably have to look up later, though he's pretty sure they're insults.

But there's an even more pressing question at play here... ]

what made you decide to share this/