Karkat Vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mutantblood) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica2020-01-08 02:36 am
mutantblood) wrote in prismatica2020-01-08 02:36 am
voice ; un: carcinoGeneticist ; love lessons
[ The day had long since begun but the room on the video feed was dark. The curtains off frame were drawn but filtered enough light through the fabric for the scene to be visible, though the room remained suitably dimmed for the nocturnal owner of the Level 2 apartment. A moderate sized whiteboard had been haphazardly, but securely, taped against a wall by its uppermost edge. Symbols had been drawn upon the canvas: a red heart, a red diamond; to their right was a black spade, and a black club. The heart and spade were beside one another with the diamond and club below them in a symmetrical arrangement. It was a rough, messy diagram, but it served its purpose. A few seconds of fumbling and screen shaking later seemed to settle the recording device against whatever it had propped itself upon. A small, grey hand slapped a blank section of the board with a misleading amount of force. ]
Can everybody stop their jerk-off small talk circles for a minute and actually pay attention to something important?
[ The owner of the demanding voice shuffled into frame. From the mussed up hair, dark circles beneath his eyes, and the sagging of his shoulders, it was apparent that this small alien was up far past his bedtime. Despite how his withered posture was borderline drowning in his dark sweater, the insistence in his voice was clear. He had something to say and he was going to make damn sure that people heard it. ]
I know you sorry sacks of shit go feral over all of this Moonlacing crap, but your lack of social awareness is fucking abysmal. For my sake, your sake, and the sake of any future trolls that find their unfortunate carcasses dragged into cuddlefuck hell, I'm going to take one for the team and attempt to educate you about Quadrants.
[ The clawed pointer finger of his right hand gestured to the top row of symbols: the red heart and the black spade. It tapped beside the heart first. ]
I know you filthy degenerates are going to want to jump right into the relationships that focus on burying your bulge. Red romance, Matespritship, is the closest equivalent we have to a human's stunted romantic relationships. It's a bond built on pity, affection, and mating fondness. That should be an easy springboard to stimulate your Godawful sponges by shoving something familiar under your noses. Unlike humans, we aren't so primitive as to restrict or discourage relationships based on genders. All of our sexual organs are structured the same way and are viable for producing reproductive slurry. I'm not going to shit on any troll who has a masculine or feminine preference in their pailing partners, but that's an aesthetic choice and not something imposed on them by society. Seriously, what the fuck are humans even doing?
[ Karkat raised his hand and then tapped beside the black spade symbol. ]
Now we're getting into shit that your spongecells are going to struggle to comprehend. Black romance, like red romance, is a sexually aligned quadrant. Take all of that positive energy I just mentioned and kick the everloving shit out of it. Kismesissitude is a quadrant that thrives on frustration, hatred, and mating fondness. They don't piss you off enough for you to want to kill them, but fuck do you ever just want to dig your teeth into their smug asses and show them their place. A strong pair of Kismesis will always push each other to do better and will probably rip the throat out of any troll who thinks they're hot shit enough to lay a malicious finger on their partner. The two points of a black romance that humans always neglect to realise is: both parties share the same feelings for one another, and mutual respect is key. Red romances and black romances are both equally as intense and trolls sure as hell can flip back and forth between them both before settling their shit and committing.
[ The troll screwed his eyes shut and soothed the bridge of his nose with his left hand. The subtle, yellow glow of his eyes peeked through his fingers until he lowered his hand. A beat and a breath later, and he gestured to the bottom row of symbols. A firm tap of two fingers indicated that the diamond would be the first choice of topic. ]
The last two Quadrants are platonic attractions. Troll romance extends beyond an excuse to get your graspers all over your partner. Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant, and is based upon positive emotions not unlike red romance. Your Moirail exists to keep you grounded, and vice versa - pull your fucking weight and pap them once in a while. They're somebody you trust enough to be vulnerable around, to be soothed by, to let all that shit off your shoulders that's making your torso pillar buckle. A Moirail is especially important for Highblooded trolls who can flip their shit and massacre a small subgrub because they rolled out of the wrong side of their cocoon. Again, mating is not a part of a pale romance. There can be exceptions, such as each lacking a red partner during drone season, or for the sake of helping their partner through a reeeally fucking awful heat cycle, but the nature of the relationship in itself is completely platonic. You shouldn't fuck your Moirail.
[ Onto the last one. God, how can this guy talk for so long? Though he steadily seems to be running out of steam he seems no less enthusiastic. The black club symbol is tapped. ]
Auspisticism, you guessed it, has its roots in negative emotions. Say you have a pair of trolls who are God fucking awful for one another and are vacillating from black romance into platonic, murderous intent every other wipe. They need an Auspistice. They're mediators and keep shit from going south, romantically or otherwise, so thank fuck for that. Trolls kill each other enough even with Auspistices managing unstable Kismesissitudes. A troll can Auspise multiple black, or potential black, pairings. As long as they're capable and don't neglect one for the other. That's how unfortunate bastards end up dead after a black fling gone globes-up.
[ Karkat straightened his posture and took a long, deep breath. He jabbed a finger towards his communication device. ]
Now there's no excuse for you snivelling shitstains to claim ignorance. I laid it all out on a metaphorical nutrient plateau in the most painfully simple manner that I could manage. A couple of minor details to prevent questions from cropping up: Lowblooded Quadmates are permitted to wear the colours of their Highblooded partners to prevent pissing anybody off with a wrongful culling, and traditionally you only have one pairing of each quadrant. Except Auspisticism, but I just fucking went over that, so whatever.
[ The troll shifted his stance and wearily soothed the back of his neck. ]
Ask questions. As long as you aren't making me repeat myself I probably wont berate you about them.
[ Probably. End video. ]
Can everybody stop their jerk-off small talk circles for a minute and actually pay attention to something important?
[ The owner of the demanding voice shuffled into frame. From the mussed up hair, dark circles beneath his eyes, and the sagging of his shoulders, it was apparent that this small alien was up far past his bedtime. Despite how his withered posture was borderline drowning in his dark sweater, the insistence in his voice was clear. He had something to say and he was going to make damn sure that people heard it. ]
I know you sorry sacks of shit go feral over all of this Moonlacing crap, but your lack of social awareness is fucking abysmal. For my sake, your sake, and the sake of any future trolls that find their unfortunate carcasses dragged into cuddlefuck hell, I'm going to take one for the team and attempt to educate you about Quadrants.
[ The clawed pointer finger of his right hand gestured to the top row of symbols: the red heart and the black spade. It tapped beside the heart first. ]
I know you filthy degenerates are going to want to jump right into the relationships that focus on burying your bulge. Red romance, Matespritship, is the closest equivalent we have to a human's stunted romantic relationships. It's a bond built on pity, affection, and mating fondness. That should be an easy springboard to stimulate your Godawful sponges by shoving something familiar under your noses. Unlike humans, we aren't so primitive as to restrict or discourage relationships based on genders. All of our sexual organs are structured the same way and are viable for producing reproductive slurry. I'm not going to shit on any troll who has a masculine or feminine preference in their pailing partners, but that's an aesthetic choice and not something imposed on them by society. Seriously, what the fuck are humans even doing?
[ Karkat raised his hand and then tapped beside the black spade symbol. ]
Now we're getting into shit that your spongecells are going to struggle to comprehend. Black romance, like red romance, is a sexually aligned quadrant. Take all of that positive energy I just mentioned and kick the everloving shit out of it. Kismesissitude is a quadrant that thrives on frustration, hatred, and mating fondness. They don't piss you off enough for you to want to kill them, but fuck do you ever just want to dig your teeth into their smug asses and show them their place. A strong pair of Kismesis will always push each other to do better and will probably rip the throat out of any troll who thinks they're hot shit enough to lay a malicious finger on their partner. The two points of a black romance that humans always neglect to realise is: both parties share the same feelings for one another, and mutual respect is key. Red romances and black romances are both equally as intense and trolls sure as hell can flip back and forth between them both before settling their shit and committing.
[ The troll screwed his eyes shut and soothed the bridge of his nose with his left hand. The subtle, yellow glow of his eyes peeked through his fingers until he lowered his hand. A beat and a breath later, and he gestured to the bottom row of symbols. A firm tap of two fingers indicated that the diamond would be the first choice of topic. ]
The last two Quadrants are platonic attractions. Troll romance extends beyond an excuse to get your graspers all over your partner. Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant, and is based upon positive emotions not unlike red romance. Your Moirail exists to keep you grounded, and vice versa - pull your fucking weight and pap them once in a while. They're somebody you trust enough to be vulnerable around, to be soothed by, to let all that shit off your shoulders that's making your torso pillar buckle. A Moirail is especially important for Highblooded trolls who can flip their shit and massacre a small subgrub because they rolled out of the wrong side of their cocoon. Again, mating is not a part of a pale romance. There can be exceptions, such as each lacking a red partner during drone season, or for the sake of helping their partner through a reeeally fucking awful heat cycle, but the nature of the relationship in itself is completely platonic. You shouldn't fuck your Moirail.
[ Onto the last one. God, how can this guy talk for so long? Though he steadily seems to be running out of steam he seems no less enthusiastic. The black club symbol is tapped. ]
Auspisticism, you guessed it, has its roots in negative emotions. Say you have a pair of trolls who are God fucking awful for one another and are vacillating from black romance into platonic, murderous intent every other wipe. They need an Auspistice. They're mediators and keep shit from going south, romantically or otherwise, so thank fuck for that. Trolls kill each other enough even with Auspistices managing unstable Kismesissitudes. A troll can Auspise multiple black, or potential black, pairings. As long as they're capable and don't neglect one for the other. That's how unfortunate bastards end up dead after a black fling gone globes-up.
[ Karkat straightened his posture and took a long, deep breath. He jabbed a finger towards his communication device. ]
Now there's no excuse for you snivelling shitstains to claim ignorance. I laid it all out on a metaphorical nutrient plateau in the most painfully simple manner that I could manage. A couple of minor details to prevent questions from cropping up: Lowblooded Quadmates are permitted to wear the colours of their Highblooded partners to prevent pissing anybody off with a wrongful culling, and traditionally you only have one pairing of each quadrant. Except Auspisticism, but I just fucking went over that, so whatever.
[ The troll shifted his stance and wearily soothed the back of his neck. ]
Ask questions. As long as you aren't making me repeat myself I probably wont berate you about them.
[ Probably. End video. ]
[Text; un: turntechGodhead] oh my god this post lmao
i have my hand up and everything
dont ask how im holding my device and typing if i have one hand up
[[No he doesn't. But he will make shit up just to be a dickhole.]]
I promised and my remorse is immense.
JUST ASK THE DAMN QUESTION.
i threatened tears so ill take on the remorse
i didnt want you to be confused about my hand and the status of why it was in the air but also that i could be holding the device and typing
you already got so much on your damn mind
look how much youve been thinking critically about all the people here not knowing anything about quadrants they cant do
[[Not can't. Dave can't.]]
you forgot something though
[[What question?]]
Excellent.
I CAN'T MOONLACE WITHOUT THESE PALE SLUTS NOT UNDERSTANDING THE IMPLICATIONS.
[ Wait. What? What did he forget??? ]
UM???
EXCUSE ME?
TELL ME WHAT I MISSED, HUMAN WHO HAS NO CONCEPT OF QUADRANTS AT ALL.
no subject
or not gay
or both
scheduling
i remember you telling me how easy it is to schedule this kind of shit and now theyll never know how easy it is to schedule this kinda shit
i mean how are they going to know that you can totally be a douche canoe and share someone like a toy?
no subject
And I don't feel used by any of my partners, either.
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its cool bro you can just say stuff
but im talking about actual dating so
i mean non exclusive relationships basically means anyone ever that you just wanna chill with in how vague that sounds
you and me are in a non exclusive relationship right now technically
like you do you but im going to ball bust my best friend with every enchanted sword in my diamond arsenal including douche canoe
but not limited to douche canoe
no subject
I have a girlfriend, someone I'm dating more casually, and what's apparently called a kissmessis.
All of them know they're not my only partner, and all of them also have other partners of their own.
It works because none of us think our partners 'belong' to us, so we don't feel a need to make them choose who they want to be with.
And yes, there is some scheduling involved. But that's true in platonic relationships, too.
Would you want to wind up promising two friends you're going to do different things at different places, at the same time?
And you're right, I'm not actually sorry.
This needed to be said, for the sake of anyone else with polyamorous tendencies that feels ashamed of it.
no subject
those are all troll shit and humans dont need quadrants to do our shit
unless youre dating a troll then youre not a kismesis of anything my dude if you wanna hate fuck your homies im not telling you to stop
i just got like one question for you though
is it like a stack of fedoras on your head? or is it just one that you switch up whenever you got the chance?
i mean if youve been studying the blade while i was having premarital sex then i just need to know how much danger im in and how many confirmed kills you have for having a moment with my bro you know basically shit all about
you know
for science is why im asking
no subject
I've been trying to find a way to succinctly describe it for months.
If you want to take a playful jab at a friend in public, don't do it in a way that could shame actual people.
I don't care if polyamory isn't for you, I care that you're publicly talking about it in a way that makes it sound like sharing a partner is inherently wrong.
You don't know me, but you still called me a douche canoe.
I wouldn't really care if one of my friends called me that, because we do tease each other like that too, but it's very insulting coming from a stranger.
no subject
go forth
punch him in the dick and kiss it better with my blessing
i think you got some issues that arent me cause you keep explaining human emotions and piling it onto troll quadrants
why you gotta have a word for it?
if yall are in hate then yall are in hate
do your thing
quadrants arent polyamory but okay
guess you know better than i do
someone smart told me the only people who feel guilt or the only people who feel shame are the ones that have shame or guilt for the topic at hand
i called karkat a douche canoe because you dont know about our history but again
go off i guess
anything else you wanna get out at me with shit you dont know about and wasnt to do with you or?
you good maybe?
im here to listen bro
hit me with it you need this
i feel how badly you need this
who hurt you? cmere man you can tell me
show me on the doll
no subject
Because, for whatever reason, neither of the languages I know have an easy way to refer to someone you consider both a rival and a lover.
Your comment was about the sharing aspect of this, which applies regardless.
And you made a sweeping statement that sharing partners makes one a douche canoe, which makes it seem like you're insulting everyone who does that.
But yes, I will admit that I used to be ashamed of the idea of wanting multiple partners, or being willing to date someone who had another partner already.
Everything back home said that the only way to do that was to be a cheating sack of shit.
Obviously, I'm willing to openly talk about it now, but I don't want other people in that same situation to read broad strokes comments like that and think it means something's wrong with them.
To sum it up, pick on your friend all you like, but don't use general terms that apply to people who might not be involved unless the only people who can hear or see it are people who are in on the joke.
no subject
you cant be for real
im convinced youre just karkat on an alt without capslock on
theres no one in this entire place who sees me ballbusting my friend by reading a conversation that isnt even theirs in a way we do with each other and then needs to scrub themselves red in the shower over it
cut it out karkat and face me like a man
Video
I wouldn't have cared if your comment had been more specific. But people idly browse internet threads all the time, and your comment hit a nerve because it came across as implying there's no way to date multiple people or to date someone who's dating someone else without being an asshole. That's something I struggled with a lot, and I do still see people here voicing that opinion.
So, if a random person browsing threads under a post might read something and feel like it applies to them, you're probably being a bit too general in your teasing insults.
no subject
its for trolls and i kinda know what im talking about
do what you wanna do man im not your mom
i dont know whats worse
the idea youre still bitching about something you got no idea about all while telling me i can do what i need to do with my buddy and then bitching that i did
or
that youre not karkat trying desperately to troll someone finally under the idea youre still bitching about something you got no idea about all while telling me i can do what i need to do with my buddy and then bitching that i did
like you must have a fucking blood pressure most wish was a bank balance
you gotta chill out man youre gonna explode the vein in your forehead
He's not wrong about the blood pressure...
If what he's describing perfectly fits how I feel toward someone, maybe what I feel toward him is that thing.
Maybe you should pause to consider why you're so adamant that humans can't have relationships like that.
What I'm saying is, the teasing is fine, but if a comment needs context to not sound like it's a broad insult, don't make it in public.
Otherwise, people who overhear it, don't know the context, and fit the general terms used will feel insulted.
I have a friend of my own who likes to reference memes.
If I made a public comment to her claiming that doing it made her an unoriginal asshole, would you be able to tell the insult didn't apply to you too?
this poor darling man
im so adamant because im one of three literal rulers of the earth c troll kingdom
but go ahead tell me more guy i dont know who is going to give themselves a woke scold aneurysm
ah man good thing you told me teasing is fine
shit i was worried there a second
not as worried as i am about your actual health if you live your life this way but...
i would be able to tell yeah cause im not going looking for shit to be offended by
He's usually stressed 25/8, and that's without time travel.
So then, how would you describe the difference between a rival that one finds extremely obnoxious but also extremely attractive and fun to fight with, without actually wanting to do anything to them they won't recover from, and a kismessis?
Without bringing species into it.
I'm concerned about people genuinely shaming the idea of multiple partners.
Like I said, it's something I have seen people do.
And some people do care about public opinion.
I don't want people who are still insecure about the idea seeing people talking about it like that and thinking there's something wrong with them.
sweet god how has he not had a heart attack lol
no it means im telling you your attributing troll shit that doesnt belong to a human emotion mainly because its for example not for you to live by
neither of us are trolls and im betting youre not dating a troll so...? how is this something about trolls
good thats great
now lets try an exercise
try breathing in and letting that air out
you might literally think its breathe in and then breathe in again but no trust me on this one
you want out first and then in again
then rinse repeat until youre chilled the fuck out man
like im not even fucking with you anymore im just worried youre going to die and itll be on my hands because you fucking exploded veins somewhere in your brain
im not about that just chill dude
It's a wonder, especially since he's also a coffee addict.
id be dead ten times in a minute
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IT'S A ROMANTIC GESTURE.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, YOU IGNORANT JERKOFF.
I MENTIONED VACILLATION.
THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
I REFUSE TO BRING UP SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU TOTALLY HAD TO BE THERE TO UNDERSTAND.
no subject
good thing i got you here though man like
i almost held a girls hand and we all know what that leads to
i think what im going to have to do is message you before i touch any body part including my own to find out if its got implications
[[No please don't block him, he loves you.]]
hahaha okay man no worries
what about if we just call it even?
almost like to parts of a square
no subject
I AM SCHOOLFEEDING YOU IN WAYS EVEN A WIGGLER COULD GRASP IN IN THEIR STUBBY, FRESHLY GROWN NUBS.
AND YOU'RE STILL DUMB AS SHIT.
WE AREN'T EVEN AND I WONT FORGIVE YOU.
BUT I AM WILLING TO MOVE ON FROM THE TOPIC.
THANKS.
no subject
thats the reason
im listening and i hear you saying
dave
dave message me and ask me because im gonna know if its two shakes or three that counts as hail mary worthy confession
okay man no problem
what do you wanna talk about?
no subject
NO EXCUSES.
YOU HAVE SURPASSED THE ACCEPTABLE LEVEL OF IGNORANCE AND BURST THROUGH THE CEILING.
INTO SPACE WHERE NOBODY CAN HEAR IT SCREAM DUMB AND OBVIOUS QUESTIONS.
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT EDUCATING THESE DENSE SACKS OF SLIME ABOUT ROMANTIC IMPLICATIONS.
THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ENTIRE POINT.
no subject
so what youre saying is i exceeded your expectations
nice
you always got somethin nice to say to me karkat
thats why were best bros
sure we can do that too
you want to get some booklets and maybe stand on the street corner?
ill write you a rap for it and we can put it on whatever version of streaming service this place has