Karkat Vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mutantblood) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica2020-01-08 02:36 am
mutantblood) wrote in prismatica2020-01-08 02:36 am
voice ; un: carcinoGeneticist ; love lessons
[ The day had long since begun but the room on the video feed was dark. The curtains off frame were drawn but filtered enough light through the fabric for the scene to be visible, though the room remained suitably dimmed for the nocturnal owner of the Level 2 apartment. A moderate sized whiteboard had been haphazardly, but securely, taped against a wall by its uppermost edge. Symbols had been drawn upon the canvas: a red heart, a red diamond; to their right was a black spade, and a black club. The heart and spade were beside one another with the diamond and club below them in a symmetrical arrangement. It was a rough, messy diagram, but it served its purpose. A few seconds of fumbling and screen shaking later seemed to settle the recording device against whatever it had propped itself upon. A small, grey hand slapped a blank section of the board with a misleading amount of force. ]
Can everybody stop their jerk-off small talk circles for a minute and actually pay attention to something important?
[ The owner of the demanding voice shuffled into frame. From the mussed up hair, dark circles beneath his eyes, and the sagging of his shoulders, it was apparent that this small alien was up far past his bedtime. Despite how his withered posture was borderline drowning in his dark sweater, the insistence in his voice was clear. He had something to say and he was going to make damn sure that people heard it. ]
I know you sorry sacks of shit go feral over all of this Moonlacing crap, but your lack of social awareness is fucking abysmal. For my sake, your sake, and the sake of any future trolls that find their unfortunate carcasses dragged into cuddlefuck hell, I'm going to take one for the team and attempt to educate you about Quadrants.
[ The clawed pointer finger of his right hand gestured to the top row of symbols: the red heart and the black spade. It tapped beside the heart first. ]
I know you filthy degenerates are going to want to jump right into the relationships that focus on burying your bulge. Red romance, Matespritship, is the closest equivalent we have to a human's stunted romantic relationships. It's a bond built on pity, affection, and mating fondness. That should be an easy springboard to stimulate your Godawful sponges by shoving something familiar under your noses. Unlike humans, we aren't so primitive as to restrict or discourage relationships based on genders. All of our sexual organs are structured the same way and are viable for producing reproductive slurry. I'm not going to shit on any troll who has a masculine or feminine preference in their pailing partners, but that's an aesthetic choice and not something imposed on them by society. Seriously, what the fuck are humans even doing?
[ Karkat raised his hand and then tapped beside the black spade symbol. ]
Now we're getting into shit that your spongecells are going to struggle to comprehend. Black romance, like red romance, is a sexually aligned quadrant. Take all of that positive energy I just mentioned and kick the everloving shit out of it. Kismesissitude is a quadrant that thrives on frustration, hatred, and mating fondness. They don't piss you off enough for you to want to kill them, but fuck do you ever just want to dig your teeth into their smug asses and show them their place. A strong pair of Kismesis will always push each other to do better and will probably rip the throat out of any troll who thinks they're hot shit enough to lay a malicious finger on their partner. The two points of a black romance that humans always neglect to realise is: both parties share the same feelings for one another, and mutual respect is key. Red romances and black romances are both equally as intense and trolls sure as hell can flip back and forth between them both before settling their shit and committing.
[ The troll screwed his eyes shut and soothed the bridge of his nose with his left hand. The subtle, yellow glow of his eyes peeked through his fingers until he lowered his hand. A beat and a breath later, and he gestured to the bottom row of symbols. A firm tap of two fingers indicated that the diamond would be the first choice of topic. ]
The last two Quadrants are platonic attractions. Troll romance extends beyond an excuse to get your graspers all over your partner. Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant, and is based upon positive emotions not unlike red romance. Your Moirail exists to keep you grounded, and vice versa - pull your fucking weight and pap them once in a while. They're somebody you trust enough to be vulnerable around, to be soothed by, to let all that shit off your shoulders that's making your torso pillar buckle. A Moirail is especially important for Highblooded trolls who can flip their shit and massacre a small subgrub because they rolled out of the wrong side of their cocoon. Again, mating is not a part of a pale romance. There can be exceptions, such as each lacking a red partner during drone season, or for the sake of helping their partner through a reeeally fucking awful heat cycle, but the nature of the relationship in itself is completely platonic. You shouldn't fuck your Moirail.
[ Onto the last one. God, how can this guy talk for so long? Though he steadily seems to be running out of steam he seems no less enthusiastic. The black club symbol is tapped. ]
Auspisticism, you guessed it, has its roots in negative emotions. Say you have a pair of trolls who are God fucking awful for one another and are vacillating from black romance into platonic, murderous intent every other wipe. They need an Auspistice. They're mediators and keep shit from going south, romantically or otherwise, so thank fuck for that. Trolls kill each other enough even with Auspistices managing unstable Kismesissitudes. A troll can Auspise multiple black, or potential black, pairings. As long as they're capable and don't neglect one for the other. That's how unfortunate bastards end up dead after a black fling gone globes-up.
[ Karkat straightened his posture and took a long, deep breath. He jabbed a finger towards his communication device. ]
Now there's no excuse for you snivelling shitstains to claim ignorance. I laid it all out on a metaphorical nutrient plateau in the most painfully simple manner that I could manage. A couple of minor details to prevent questions from cropping up: Lowblooded Quadmates are permitted to wear the colours of their Highblooded partners to prevent pissing anybody off with a wrongful culling, and traditionally you only have one pairing of each quadrant. Except Auspisticism, but I just fucking went over that, so whatever.
[ The troll shifted his stance and wearily soothed the back of his neck. ]
Ask questions. As long as you aren't making me repeat myself I probably wont berate you about them.
[ Probably. End video. ]
Can everybody stop their jerk-off small talk circles for a minute and actually pay attention to something important?
[ The owner of the demanding voice shuffled into frame. From the mussed up hair, dark circles beneath his eyes, and the sagging of his shoulders, it was apparent that this small alien was up far past his bedtime. Despite how his withered posture was borderline drowning in his dark sweater, the insistence in his voice was clear. He had something to say and he was going to make damn sure that people heard it. ]
I know you sorry sacks of shit go feral over all of this Moonlacing crap, but your lack of social awareness is fucking abysmal. For my sake, your sake, and the sake of any future trolls that find their unfortunate carcasses dragged into cuddlefuck hell, I'm going to take one for the team and attempt to educate you about Quadrants.
[ The clawed pointer finger of his right hand gestured to the top row of symbols: the red heart and the black spade. It tapped beside the heart first. ]
I know you filthy degenerates are going to want to jump right into the relationships that focus on burying your bulge. Red romance, Matespritship, is the closest equivalent we have to a human's stunted romantic relationships. It's a bond built on pity, affection, and mating fondness. That should be an easy springboard to stimulate your Godawful sponges by shoving something familiar under your noses. Unlike humans, we aren't so primitive as to restrict or discourage relationships based on genders. All of our sexual organs are structured the same way and are viable for producing reproductive slurry. I'm not going to shit on any troll who has a masculine or feminine preference in their pailing partners, but that's an aesthetic choice and not something imposed on them by society. Seriously, what the fuck are humans even doing?
[ Karkat raised his hand and then tapped beside the black spade symbol. ]
Now we're getting into shit that your spongecells are going to struggle to comprehend. Black romance, like red romance, is a sexually aligned quadrant. Take all of that positive energy I just mentioned and kick the everloving shit out of it. Kismesissitude is a quadrant that thrives on frustration, hatred, and mating fondness. They don't piss you off enough for you to want to kill them, but fuck do you ever just want to dig your teeth into their smug asses and show them their place. A strong pair of Kismesis will always push each other to do better and will probably rip the throat out of any troll who thinks they're hot shit enough to lay a malicious finger on their partner. The two points of a black romance that humans always neglect to realise is: both parties share the same feelings for one another, and mutual respect is key. Red romances and black romances are both equally as intense and trolls sure as hell can flip back and forth between them both before settling their shit and committing.
[ The troll screwed his eyes shut and soothed the bridge of his nose with his left hand. The subtle, yellow glow of his eyes peeked through his fingers until he lowered his hand. A beat and a breath later, and he gestured to the bottom row of symbols. A firm tap of two fingers indicated that the diamond would be the first choice of topic. ]
The last two Quadrants are platonic attractions. Troll romance extends beyond an excuse to get your graspers all over your partner. Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant, and is based upon positive emotions not unlike red romance. Your Moirail exists to keep you grounded, and vice versa - pull your fucking weight and pap them once in a while. They're somebody you trust enough to be vulnerable around, to be soothed by, to let all that shit off your shoulders that's making your torso pillar buckle. A Moirail is especially important for Highblooded trolls who can flip their shit and massacre a small subgrub because they rolled out of the wrong side of their cocoon. Again, mating is not a part of a pale romance. There can be exceptions, such as each lacking a red partner during drone season, or for the sake of helping their partner through a reeeally fucking awful heat cycle, but the nature of the relationship in itself is completely platonic. You shouldn't fuck your Moirail.
[ Onto the last one. God, how can this guy talk for so long? Though he steadily seems to be running out of steam he seems no less enthusiastic. The black club symbol is tapped. ]
Auspisticism, you guessed it, has its roots in negative emotions. Say you have a pair of trolls who are God fucking awful for one another and are vacillating from black romance into platonic, murderous intent every other wipe. They need an Auspistice. They're mediators and keep shit from going south, romantically or otherwise, so thank fuck for that. Trolls kill each other enough even with Auspistices managing unstable Kismesissitudes. A troll can Auspise multiple black, or potential black, pairings. As long as they're capable and don't neglect one for the other. That's how unfortunate bastards end up dead after a black fling gone globes-up.
[ Karkat straightened his posture and took a long, deep breath. He jabbed a finger towards his communication device. ]
Now there's no excuse for you snivelling shitstains to claim ignorance. I laid it all out on a metaphorical nutrient plateau in the most painfully simple manner that I could manage. A couple of minor details to prevent questions from cropping up: Lowblooded Quadmates are permitted to wear the colours of their Highblooded partners to prevent pissing anybody off with a wrongful culling, and traditionally you only have one pairing of each quadrant. Except Auspisticism, but I just fucking went over that, so whatever.
[ The troll shifted his stance and wearily soothed the back of his neck. ]
Ask questions. As long as you aren't making me repeat myself I probably wont berate you about them.
[ Probably. End video. ]
no subject
IT'S A ROMANTIC GESTURE.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, YOU IGNORANT JERKOFF.
I MENTIONED VACILLATION.
THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
I REFUSE TO BRING UP SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU TOTALLY HAD TO BE THERE TO UNDERSTAND.
no subject
good thing i got you here though man like
i almost held a girls hand and we all know what that leads to
i think what im going to have to do is message you before i touch any body part including my own to find out if its got implications
[[No please don't block him, he loves you.]]
hahaha okay man no worries
what about if we just call it even?
almost like to parts of a square
no subject
I AM SCHOOLFEEDING YOU IN WAYS EVEN A WIGGLER COULD GRASP IN IN THEIR STUBBY, FRESHLY GROWN NUBS.
AND YOU'RE STILL DUMB AS SHIT.
WE AREN'T EVEN AND I WONT FORGIVE YOU.
BUT I AM WILLING TO MOVE ON FROM THE TOPIC.
THANKS.
no subject
thats the reason
im listening and i hear you saying
dave
dave message me and ask me because im gonna know if its two shakes or three that counts as hail mary worthy confession
okay man no problem
what do you wanna talk about?
no subject
NO EXCUSES.
YOU HAVE SURPASSED THE ACCEPTABLE LEVEL OF IGNORANCE AND BURST THROUGH THE CEILING.
INTO SPACE WHERE NOBODY CAN HEAR IT SCREAM DUMB AND OBVIOUS QUESTIONS.
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT EDUCATING THESE DENSE SACKS OF SLIME ABOUT ROMANTIC IMPLICATIONS.
THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ENTIRE POINT.
no subject
so what youre saying is i exceeded your expectations
nice
you always got somethin nice to say to me karkat
thats why were best bros
sure we can do that too
you want to get some booklets and maybe stand on the street corner?
ill write you a rap for it and we can put it on whatever version of streaming service this place has