text; un:tangtang

[menaces]

what's up sluts

no seriously I'm looking for people who need chroma and have low standards

i'm not looking for romance or friendship or whatever if it happens great if not we don't have to talk we just have to fuck

i'm male, 30s, no preferences

i've attached a photo of myself and a list of things i won't do, everything else is good just let me know what you want

okay with one night stands or ongoing arrangements

non-sexual moonlacing ok too but i'm going to limit those slots because i live with two dumb romantic introverts and my sister who's like 12 and these fools are going to starve

(the photo is shoulders down, the subject hiking up his shirt one-handed to reveal well toned abs. there's a recently healed scar running horizontal through his stomach, but that's probably not important.
the attached list is blank)

Comments

[menaces]

ask him why he keeps saying 'love' at me in quotations
i'll be over in a bit but only if you agree to lock your brother out until we're done

[ he cannot be getting into another fight with another of the angry homicidal men in wei wuxian's life right now. ]

[resurging]

[ ...xue yang you're also an angry homicidal man in wei wuxian's life, in case you hadn't noticed. ]

i'll lock him out. if he breaks the lock it's his fault.

do you want food?

[menaces]

[ look no one ever said he wasn't??

though that's a good point. wei wuxian why are you like this. ]

do i get to eat it off you?

[resurging]

why would you do that
we have bowls?
don't you have bowls?

[menaces]

[ god you're all so fucking stupid ]

sorry, i forgot who i was talking to
i'm on my way
whatever you want to eat is good

[ but he's still going to bring over chocolate spread and give wei wuxian a crash course. he's just not enough of a glutton for punishment to try to explain it through text. he is however enough of a glutton for punishment to try to goad lan wangji into a rematch, so make of that what you will. ]

[resurging]

[ why are all the men in wei wuxian's life like... this. is this where the gods have dispersed wei wuxian's sensibilities? is this the exchange equivalent for wei wuxian's creativity? ]

i'll start warming the food for you
do you want fried rice
oh we have sweet chicken too
and vegetable dumplings in chili sauce

[ let him live his housewife dreams thank you ]

[menaces]

[ or you just have a type and it's a bad one ]

dumplings sound really good
i'll bring some wine

[ sure, wei wuxian can practice being a housewife and xue yang can play at feeling like he belongs ]

[resurging]

[ doubt ]

ah, thank you! but let's not drink too much, okay? i want to remember things when we're done!

[ why are you trying to make this really sad, xue yang ]

[menaces]

you can save it for later if you want

[ he's thinking like immediately after. pass out on the roof like you like to do. anyway xue yang's whole everything is sad so. ]

cute that you want to remember
i know i'm never going to forget about you