text | anonymous

[penpoint]

I have a question. Consider it a bit of a survey or questionnaire. I'm curious. I want to remain anonymous, so that people feel like they can safely remain anonymous, as well.

What does love mean to you here? What did it mean to you at home? Is it different for both?

Relationships are seemingly more complicated here than they would be at most of our homes. I was wondering if others felt the same.

How are you managing it here in a place where it does seem more complicated? Are you doing the same things you would have done if you were at home?

Thank you for your time.

Comments

text | permanon

[getstoned]

i haven't even considered the concept of love in this place
honestly, it's a messy subject at home and with the introduction of amplified feelings here it would be just as or even more disastrous

like if people want to find love and make it work somehow that's all good and i support it
but personally speaking, i would rather not even attempt it

text | permanon

[penpoint]

That's where I am, to be honest. If others want it, then maybe they should do it. But I have had difficulty understanding or figuring out how it would be possible when it is here. A lot of the things that impact us remove reason and inhibitions. I'd feel like it'd be more prone to disaster here.

[getstoned]

i guess it's more like you can't fight against attraction and feelings. back at home i've had my fair amount of trouble with this, because i felt like it was something i needed until i decided i just didn't anymore.

given the circumstances of this place i've chosen to be involved with someone, but it's someone i know i can't ever fall in love with. they're rude, selfish and completely self-involved.

other than that they're an okay person, but not someone i would want to give my everything to.

[penpoint]

I have nothing to base my experiences off prior to arriving here given that there's never been anyone I've been interested in prior to arriving here. Mostly just observations since arriving, as well. I guess that's why I'm curious.

And I get the impression that you wouldn't have chosen prior to getting here?

[getstoned]

i definitely wouldn't have chosen. like don't get me wrong, i've had ~urges~ but i'm only human, right?

but doing those things, it felt like it's a big thing where you should at least like the person you're with. i guess that's the best way to justify it here, i wouldn't do those things with just anyone, i've gotta at least like them enough outside of whatever moonphase-y shit goes on.

as for your question of love from your initial post? personally for me, love is about respect and trust first and foremost. i know i gave a lot of myself away before when i felt like i was in love with whoever, but it's really important to feel like i'm not the only one that would do anything to protect the person they love, otherwise you come out looking like a fuckin' clown.

[penpoint]

I must be strange, I guess.

I think I'd prefer to at least want their company, at the risk of it becoming a more long term arrangement, even if not a relationship of any sort. I really wouldn't be into spending time with someone I didn't like just to indulge the moons.

I think your answer is the first that's really made sense to me.

[getstoned]

nah, i think that shit just hits people differently you know? some are physical, and others are like just content with sharing the same space with someone.

oh yeah, most definitely. i don't think i've run into anyone here that i've had a visceral reaction to so far, but if it happens you can be sure i'm staying as far the fuck away from them once the moon does its thing

that's not surprising, a lot of people like to get caught up in the fantasy and romance of it all. it's kind of difficult to not look past that if you've been burned one too many times.

[penpoint]

I'm trying to make sure I do, too. Sometimes circumstances won't allow, but it's been mostly alright. I've not been burned, but I've never had feelings someone. And I think I'm trying to take a more realistic approach to how others have done things here.

But you're right. There's a lot of romanticizing being abducted and what would probably be equal to getting drugged and forced into intimacy.

[getstoned]

all i can say is do you. approach things with the way that feels most comfortable to you, even if it's a new experience. i think most things are very new for a lot of people here.

the way i like to look at it is a new experience is a challenge, and i never back away from a challenge.

[penpoint]

There's a lot to navigate here in addition to whatever problems they may have had prior to getting here. I'm seeing a lot of - not entirely different problems, but more and new ones that wouldn't be considered.

It is going to be a challenge regardless as to how one directly considers it one, or not. Not that I mind looking down a challenge, of course.

[getstoned]

of course that way of thinking is admirable at least and will gain you some points.

like whatever's going on, just remember that honesty is always the best at the end. it sucks when people can't be honest about even the smallest things, and even though it might be difficult you get a big payout at the end for the honesty. it's probably hypocritical for me to say that, but i'm getting better at the whole honesty thing myself with and without the moon shit.

[penpoint]

Honesty's never been difficult for me before.[ he can say that again ] Though I guess the longer you hold back, the more likely you'll just be honest because that's the impulse you can't fight anymore with the moons. Not that I'm being dishonest, anyway, but you can't really feel fully like yourself when you know there's a push there that wasn't there when you were home.

[getstoned]

oh i'm sure it hasn't to some degree because i could say the same thing. but there are levels of honesty, like it's easy to admit if you don' like someone or something openly and even say why. but there are also feelings and thoughts that we don't acknowledge within ourselves and that is where the problem with honesty lies.

i wonder if the push of the moons is different from things that would push us at home, because the way i see it both force you to face certain aspects of yourself that you'd rather not under normal circumstances.

[penpoint]

Maybe it's similar to what you'd get, but I don't know if it's the same as whatever push you'd get a home. I think at home... I would not have possibly ended up making choices I have here. That simple. Nothing could have pushed me to where I am now or into anything I've done.

But here... It's different.