text, un: phantompaws

[yumenope]

It’s truly a tragedy that all the attention has been given to the mostly two legged inhabitants of this fair world. Therefore, I propose a simple solution.

Please post the most flattering picture of your feline or canine companion. We will then proceed with assigning it an arbitrary number, let’s call it one to ten, that seemingly corresponds with how fetching it is.

( yes, this is “please rate my pet”. yes, this is a mockery of rate my ass and the like. yes, he’s fully intending on rating your pets. )

Comments

[ssrs]

Well, yeah, not exactly a common sight.

[ but maybe the fact that he's seen these things in game before helps him a little... still. thankfully, the device's camera probably didn't catch the fact that he totally paled a little there, for a second.

anyway.

that's terrible. who hasn't seen the lady and the tramp? ]

I guess I know what I'm showing you. [ he snickers, tipping his head to the side. he's totally on the phone with a big ass wolf. this is fine. wonder how he'd like movies about animated, talking animals? ] Not necessarily a bad thing. Makes you seem more... realistic...

[ it can still be a fursuit. maybe. ]

[canids]

Well, I'd never seen a human at all before coming here, and I adjusted just fine.

( little grouchy-sounding, there, legosi... )

Show me... Is it a television show? ...Movie? ( if itaru wanted to show him something like that, it would be fine. hopefully the "tramp" character isn't a bad one? he wouldn't want to be so easily compared to someone like that... )

Realistic? ( what a bizarre word to use. legosi's face contorts in confusion, then it resolves. one of his brows arches. ) You thought I was... a fake wolf?

( I'm not sure if I'm ready to deal with legosi learning what furries are )

[ssrs]

Wait - you've never seen a human before?

[ that is just so much information. how do you even adjust, if you've never seen a human? at least the humans have seen wolves before?? what did legosi think? ]

It's a movie. I guess we've got ourselves a date, huh? [ he smiles at the screen, innocent.

anyway, get ready, because he's about to: ]

Mm... yeah. When I saw you in game, I thought you just made your avatar a wolf 'coz you're a furry.

[canids]

Before coming here, no... But once I learned humans are primates, it made more sense.

( they have primates in his world, of course. the den mother of his dorm at school had been a howler monkey, or something along those lines. so once he started squinting and looking at humans like they were big, fur-less apes... it made more sense, even though it was still disquieting.

legosi starts ever-so-slightly, flustering a shade or two. he's -- not really used to people saying things like that to him. ) Y - You... don't have to say it like that... ( somehow, the blithe smile makes it worse...

at first, he doesn't respond. the wolf merely gives a slow, owlish blink, then tilts his head to one side. one of his ears flaps as he thinks over it. he is furry, but... he gets the feeling he's not understanding what he's saying. ) ..."A" furry?

[ssrs]

So we're just monkeys to you...

[ that hurts, except it doesn't. it makes sense for legosi to reason it out like this - it's kind of like itaru comparing him to an overgrown dog... even if he's not.

but his tiny human brain has to wrap around it somehow.

anyway, this is all worth it if only for the sake of seeing legosi flustered. it's... kind of wild, actually, because his face is very expressive, somehow - itaru can't help but stare, even if it's just through the phone. ]

... yea. People who dress up as animals and, uh... well, I can't say it's not sexual because it is, but basically they think they're actually animals. They'd love seeing you, I'm sure. [ being on the internet means you see the worst of furries... so he looks a little pale even recollecting it. ]

[canids]

Yeah. ...You are, aren't you?

( that's what he had been told, at least? their taxonomic classification. humans might think of themselves separate from animals, but taxonomy was very important to the structure of legosi's world, and that taxonomy would only reinforce what he thought: that they were animals, just like legosi and all the people in the world he was from.

and now it's time for legosi's perception of humans to be shattered forever.

his eyes squint, and he's silent for a long moment as he slowly... slowly processes this information. humans... who dress up like other animals... well, that's not too odd. he had been to that one (highly questionable, highly illegal) club where herbivores had dressed up as carnivores and vice versa, usually to indulge societally-condemned kinks. so it's like that...? )

There's... kind of something like that where I'm from, so... I guess it could be stranger. But that was just pretending — people wouldn't actually believe they're something they're not...

( he raises a clawed hand to his chin, thinking over it some more. ) If they'd "love" seeing me, I think it might be best they - don't? ( nervous. )