text; un: xiaoxingchen

[mingyues]

[ xiao xingchen is not someone who feels the urge to ask questions often. not of others, and even less so of strangers. for this, however, he'll make an exception, even if the words are hard to parse. ]

I have been thinking
The people that we are in this place, the people we become —
Is there a chance in this world for those who are destined to commit evil?
Or is it futile to expect that anything will change when we return to our worlds?

And if it is futile then... does anything we do here matter?

Comments

[noenvy]

You were fine, until that point. No one would have expected such a person to go through such efforts to deceive you. Those sorts of things, they're not your responsibility.

[mingyues]

He should have just killed me and be done with it. But... [ well, his feelings on that issue are complicated. it's not that he would have wanted to die, but his death would have been preferable to innocent lives. always. ]

I want to believe your words, master Wei. I want to but then I would feel - I cannot.

[noenvy]

...

Why have these futures been revealed to you? Why did he feel a need to tell you?

... He had tried so hard not to let you know at that time....

tw mention of suicide/self-harm

[mingyues]

Please do not be angry with him. I... to keep this secret must have been painful to him. He made me swear not to bring harm to myself and I - I will uphold that oath.

Re: tw mention of suicide/self-harm

[noenvy]

I am glad you will hold to that.

[He doesn't want to see any Xia Xingchen kill themselves again.]

But... this was a secret he took with him to the grave, why was he so compelled to reveal it now?

[mingyues]

That is something you may have to ask him yourself, master Wei. It may have have to do with Song Daozhang's departure.

[noenvy]

Perhaps I will....

[mingyues]

Song Daozhang has suffered so much, and endured so much for my sake. For my mistakes for... for meeting me.

[noenvy]

Do not blame yourself. Things... could have been better, but... it is not your fault. Sometimes life is simply cruel.

[mingyues]

Do you believe in destiny? Or simply bad luck?

[noenvy]

Some things surely must be fated, but others... I'm not sure.

[mingyues]

Thank you, master Wei. I am not sure what to do.

What I should do but your words help.

[noenvy]

I'm glad I could help a little.

[mingyues]

And... I am sorry we were not better acquainted in our world.

[noenvy]

Well, it can't be helped. At least we have unique opportunities here.

[mingyues]

We do.


Are you happy in this world?

[noenvy]

Quite. I have all the things I could ever ask for....

[mingyues]

That is
I am...

I am glad that you found peace here.

[noenvy]

I hope you can find peace as well.

[mingyues]

I will... try. I just... need time. There is too much right now in me. In my head. In what the future holds.

[noenvy]

Take it one moment at a time. There is no need to hurry.

[mingyues]

May I ask you something, master Wei?

[noenvy]

Of course.

[mingyues]

What would you do without hope?

[noenvy]

...

Once I lost all hope, and I died. I'm sure you more or less familiar with the story of the fall of the great Yiling Patriarch. I doubt my own story is much different.

But now, there is hope beside me and it will never leave, so I don't need to worry about losing it again.