text; un: xiaoxingchen

[mingyues]

[ xiao xingchen is not someone who feels the urge to ask questions often. not of others, and even less so of strangers. for this, however, he'll make an exception, even if the words are hard to parse. ]

I have been thinking
The people that we are in this place, the people we become —
Is there a chance in this world for those who are destined to commit evil?
Or is it futile to expect that anything will change when we return to our worlds?

And if it is futile then... does anything we do here matter?

Comments

text. — un: lightning

[imperio]

let me know if you ever find an answer

[mingyues]

What would you do?

[imperio]

i guess
sleep a little better at night

are you destined to commit evil?

[mingyues]

Yes.

Forgive me for asking but, are you? Or is your future simply...bleak?

[imperio]

you could say my future is a bit of a dead end.

( emphasis on the dead. )

everything here?
it just feels like extra.
if you have two choices here, to be good or your destined evil self, and you choose to be good
doesn't that make you a good person?

if not, does that mean people like you and i are just
inherently evil?

[mingyues]

[ alksjkalsdjkla HARRY........ WHEEZE. ]

I am sorry.
I
I would not consider you evil, I do not think. But
How

If everything here is 'extra' where do you draw a limit? Or do you give yourself permission to just... be?

[imperio]

( :') )

what else would you do, xiaoxingchen?
whatever horrors you're to inflict, they don't mean much. not here.

so what can you do?
kill yourself in punishment i suppose, but you'll just come back anyway. again and again
it doesn't solve anything
it doesn't cure guilt
being is all there is




imagine there's a chance you could change the future
or even the past
you'd have to be long enough to do it
i'd call that hope
or at least something to cling onto

tw mention of suicide/self-harm

[mingyues]

[ SCREAMING. XIAO XINGCHEN IS SCREAMING SO MUCH........in his head ]

I do not even have the luxury of death as a means of atonement. I made a promise, even if this world would not bring the dead back, I wouldn't.

Being
...


Is that what you are doing? Existing on the hope you can change the future or past?