text; un: xiaoxingchen

[mingyues]

[ xiao xingchen is not someone who feels the urge to ask questions often. not of others, and even less so of strangers. for this, however, he'll make an exception, even if the words are hard to parse. ]

I have been thinking
The people that we are in this place, the people we become —
Is there a chance in this world for those who are destined to commit evil?
Or is it futile to expect that anything will change when we return to our worlds?

And if it is futile then... does anything we do here matter?

Comments

[mingyues]

I do not know what to do with the uncertainty of that. Perhaps there are other worlds, other times that
That I may go back and remember all this and fix it.
Do better. Save the people I love
But mostly it seems as if

As if this is a temporary moment where you can have everything and lose it.

[triggerhappytraitor]

In many ways, it is.

All you can do is believe in what you're doing and hope for the best.

Even if there's only the smallest chance, fighting for it is better than accepting defeat, isn't it?

[mingyues]

I used to think it was worth fighting for things but if the outcome is always the same. I...
I cannot see hope. Without hope it is difficult.

How long have you been here?

[triggerhappytraitor]

In this world, only a few months. The place I was before this, however, I was at for nearly two years, Traveling between different worlds and different versions of my own life.

Hope is something that even if you feel as if you've lost it, there's still always part of you that clings to the remnants of it. It's why I've never been able to stop trying, even when it feels like everything I do comes to nothing. It just hurts too much to stay still, even in the face of that futility.

[mingyues]

Many different worlds? Different versions of your own life?
That sounds... difficult. You must be a person of very strong convictions to watch those events unfold. I feel as if it is one thing to be see someone else's suffering than to see your own. To know of your own.

Hope is so frail at times, trust is too easy to abuse.

[triggerhappytraitor]

[[There's a slight pause as he just. Has Feelings and flashbacks]]

It was those lives that gave me hope. Because in those lives, there were still things left to hope for. And if anything I do can protect those worlds, and those lives, I'll fight to do it.

[[Anything to keep alive any world in which she lived. Anything to keep the tragedy of what happened to him from happening to anyone else.]]

When your own hope is frail, you have to find it in others. In those you want to protect. In those memories you want to preserve. No matter how many times you're betrayed, tricked and fooled. Because if you aren't able to do it, who will?

[mingyues]

I only know one life that has no hope, no glimpse into any others. It seems clear that this world is far more than we understand. Perhaps, far more than we could ever understand.

What if my being tricked ends up with the death of innocent people? With my betrayal of everything I believed and hoped?

[triggerhappytraitor]

Then you do your best to set right what was made wrong.

And try and find meaning in what you have left.

For me, it was my allies -- my friends.

[mingyues]

Atonement then. That is the only path I can walk here, I no longer have the right to be happy. I do not deserve it.

[triggerhappytraitor]

Not atonement. Duty.

Your misery won't undo the damage caused by being tricked. And being tricked is not something you need to punish yourself for.

[mingyues]

Duty? I
I did not have a duty, just an aspiration to protect people and rid the world of evil.


It is not?

[triggerhappytraitor]

That is a duty and responsibility. Especially when undertaken to set things right again.

That you were deceived only means that you trusted in someone. And there's nothing wrong in trusting in people.

You just have to learn from it, so you don't wind up deceived the same way again, or by the same person.

[mingyues]

I cannot fix the future of my world. When I return none of this knowledge will matter. So, the only good I can do is here... now.

I still... have. I have conflicted feelings towards this person, but I am not angry nor do I wish for their suffering.
I will try.
It helps that I am not...blind.

[triggerhappytraitor]

[[Another moment of words that he himself could have written... How similar of a past to his own had this person suffered...?]]

Feelings rarely are what we expect them to be. Especially regarding those who have hurt us.

Good luck.

With everything.

[mingyues]

Thank you, kind stranger.
I hope I ...
If in future I can...repay your kindness, I will.

My name is Xiao Xingchen.

/takes forever to decide to go with western name order because name order aaaah

[triggerhappytraitor]

Sakuya Tachibana.

Message me any time, if you need.

np np xingchen is his name, xiao surname!

[mingyues]

It is a pleasure to meet you Master Tachibana.
You as well, if there is anything you need.