text; un: xiaoxingchen

[mingyues]

[ xiao xingchen is not someone who feels the urge to ask questions often. not of others, and even less so of strangers. for this, however, he'll make an exception, even if the words are hard to parse. ]

I have been thinking
The people that we are in this place, the people we become —
Is there a chance in this world for those who are destined to commit evil?
Or is it futile to expect that anything will change when we return to our worlds?

And if it is futile then... does anything we do here matter?

Comments

[mingyues]

My sleep is
Unsettled but my waking hours are worse. Are yours?

I think I would be willing to do anything if it meant erasing my mistakes. It...is difficult to think like that. I always believed in right and wrong and doing the right thing. Saving people.

[zunge]

They're the same they've been for most of my life. Tiring.

The issue with "anything" is that the anything could be far worse than the nature of your mistakes. The most logical way to look at it is examining the pros and cons, the costs and benefits, of what you do. Then compare it to your values. And keep your damn emotions in check. Too many fools let their emotions dictate their actions and screw themselves over.

So. You're one of those people. The saving type. Out of curiosity, what do you get out of saving people? How does it benefit you?

[mingyues]

I am sorry.

I have tried always to do the right thing. To be kind and to vanquish evil. I cannot see myself taking any other path but that and that is the same path that leads me to make unforgivable mistakes. It makes me angry at myself too.

What do I get out of saving people?
Nothing. I just want to save people, to protect people who can't protect themselves. To fight evil in this world.

[ yes, he really just wants to do this because he wants to make the world a better place. that's it. that's his ambition. ]

[zunge]

See, that's what I don't get. Don't know about where you're from but in my world most people are self-serving and two-faced. The moment someone's no longer convenient they can get turned on and thrown away. Even good deeds have ulterior motives attached. So people who talk like you are right now confuse me. Is this about having others perceive you as righteous and morally good, feeling good about yourself for doing them, feeling useful and productive, making the world closer to one that you find appealing, or imagining their pain and not wanting to see them go through that? Or something else.

[He's had a few talks with people on the matters of pain and cost-benefit, so he's definitely wiser than had he never wound up here. He's also had the opportunity to experience some physical pain and now has some basic understanding of it that had always eluded him in the past. Still tough to break free of his rigid mindset, though.]

[mingyues]

I cannot speak for all people from my world but those close to me... Song Lan? He is a righteous man, caring and steady in his devotion. My nephew, Wei Wuxian has a sense for right and wrong. He will fight for what he believes. Hanguang-jun, has an unmovable heart, his loyalty and affections true.

And even those who I know have made mistakes, they have tried to do better here.


No, it's...
There is evil in this world and I just want to protect people from it. Glory, admiration, and flattery mean little. I do not know much of the world since I grew up secluded from it. [ he is just... a well intentioned person who is too frail for this world. ]

[zunge]

...Secluded in what way?

this is super late feel free to ignore!

[mingyues]

I grew up in a mountain. It was hidden from the outside world and we were not allowed to leave, those who left are forbidden from ever returning.

I... left.

[zunge]

That would do it.

[mingyues]

Guess
Guess I know better now?