prismatica | Video; UN: FINN

[ The video almost looks like the position a security camera might take, looking down at Finn's living room from a corner. For those that's been to his flat, they might remember a bookshelf is there. Anyway, the place is destroyed.

The couch is ripped apart, tables are broken, books are everywhere, a plant looks to have been torn from the pot and dragged through the white carpet, it's just bad.

The camera pans over towards the hallway where some big brown and black bird comes waddling into the room on webbed feet, head casually scanning on top of its long neck. ]

Can anyone tell me what this thing is. [ Oh, that's Finn's voice. He's whispering and, though he's not in view, sprawled on top of the bookcase. ] I found some shop and this guy told me that animals popped out of some sphere and I bought it because I wanted to see what it actually did and this thing-

[ The goose waddles over to the open wall closet, tugging on something inside until a jacket pulls free of a hanger, then proceeds to drag it through the dirt for no reason.

Finn speaks up. ] Why? You don't think you've done enou- [ The goose stops, flaps its impressive wingspan and hisses at him before folding its wings back and continues about its business.

After a beat- ] I didn't like that one anyway!

[ The goose stops again and looks at him, apparently annoyed now. It flaps its wings, lowers its neck parallel to the ground, and starts running- The camera shakes- ] No, no, no, no-! [ And the video ends. ]

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It's been hissing at me the whole time, yeah. And I ran from it almost immediately. Was I not supposed to?

[ Was that a dominance test he failed? Dammit. ]

You know how to handle one of these things?

My dad taught me.

[He's already moving along.] I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere.

[Shit.]

Okay don't approach it again. I'll show you how to handle him. Geese have a tooth on the top of their beak. It takes out skin if you're not careful.

How'd you end up with one?

They have teeth? [ What the hell is this abomination? It's like a feathery rathtar. ]

There was this guy selling things that he claimed animals came out of. I thought he was trying to scam me or something but it looked cool- Anyway, he wasn't trying to scam me.

... Maybe he was trying to kill me.

[Don chuckles looking a little superior.]

It's one tooth on the tip of it's beak. The problem is that they're very muscular birds.

[He smiles then, sincere.]

He's not trying to kill you. I'll teach you how to manage a goose. I'm almost at your place.

[When he does get there he's got his hands out and his sleeves rolled up-knocking on the door.]

[ Finn's not convinced that the goose isn't plotting to murder him...

Anyway, when the knock comes, Finn starts to move or at least quietly invite him in, but the goose sits up and starts casually waddling over to the door. Finn's so confused that he just watches.

It stops right in front of the door and HONKS once. ]

Please, be careful!

[Geese are birds that need to know who's the bigger bird. They're pack animals. You make yourself the alpha goose. Alpha Goose is bigger and more aggressive.

Don remembers his father showing him how to catch the geese. When he'd been bitten his father had laughed and when he'd been bitten again he'd been knocked to the floor.

The goose gets a stare before he spreads his arms high above his head standing at his full 6'2 height - arms spread.]

Close the door and stand to the side.

[he points to his left as he spreads his arms and legs before addressing the goose.]

You see me you feathery bastard? I'm the Alpha goose. You go sit in the corner.

[He takes a step forward. Still large.]

[ Oh no, Don's lost his mind. Finn doesn't think he can handle all of this in one day.

He scrambles over, regardless, landing on the floor and slinking over to close the door.

The goose does actually seem intimidated, anyway. It straightens up to its full height, too, taking a step back every time Don steps forward, making little, agitated, warning sounds as it does so. ]

Don't fuck with me goose.

[He may sound and look less like the polished ad-man Finn knows and more like the farmer's son he is.]

I've been bitten by one of you little feathery assholes before. You don't scare me.

[His father did. So he might be a little rougher with the goose if caught as he moves to back it in the corner.]

See the key is to make um' know you're the alpha goose. Get big. Then you pin um down.

[ Pin them- ] Don, I think it's just going to get pissed. It's not like any animal I've seen before. [ Again, except a rathtar. But at least Finn's holding back his 'are you sure you're okay' questions until this is over.

The goose, to his credit, continues to back up. It's head gets low, though, and it's hissing at Don. Finn thinks idly that this is a strategy, keep distance from the enemy and attack when there's an opening... He wonders how smart the average goose is. ]

Don...

I've been bitten by these before.

[He studies the creature before lowering his hands.] My dad used to have me catch these and I want you to picture a kid versus one of these. It's not a pleasant experience.

[But. It is hissing. And it has been awhile.

Okay Don think.

He lowers his hands slowly. Very very slowly, taking a step back and being calm. His breathing goes even.]

What do you want to do with him when we catch him?

[ He's been bitten before so it's fine? Don, man, c'mon.

Whatever, Finn whines a little as he thinks about the question. ]

I... don't want to hurt him, if we can help it. Maybe lock him up somewhere and... try to reason with him?

[ Does that make literally any sense? ]

It's an animal. It's not going to be reasoned with but if you make a point of naming yourself the alpha and then befriending him...He should be fine.

[Don squats to his haunches and stares up at Finn.] You have a place to put him?

Can you do it quick?

[ Finn has the sneaky suspicion that this goose isn't your average animal. It seems smart. Like. Really smart. Smarter than most people he's met. He doesn't want to piss it off more by offending whatever intellect it may or may not have.

On the other hand- ] Bathroom's the first door on the left. I'll get it open.

[He squats, studying the creature and inhaling.]

...Ok.

[Into the bathroom.]

The trick is, you grab his neck. Gently. Gently, and then you grab his wings.

[He exhales a breath.]

I'm going to do this quick and he's going to honk.

[ This is going to go so badly. Finn grimaces and holds the door open. ]

I have a bad feeling about this.

Video; UN: FINN

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