Video; UN: FINN

[hatejakku]

[ The video almost looks like the position a security camera might take, looking down at Finn's living room from a corner. For those that's been to his flat, they might remember a bookshelf is there. Anyway, the place is destroyed.

The couch is ripped apart, tables are broken, books are everywhere, a plant looks to have been torn from the pot and dragged through the white carpet, it's just bad.

The camera pans over towards the hallway where some big brown and black bird comes waddling into the room on webbed feet, head casually scanning on top of its long neck. ]

Can anyone tell me what this thing is. [ Oh, that's Finn's voice. He's whispering and, though he's not in view, sprawled on top of the bookcase. ] I found some shop and this guy told me that animals popped out of some sphere and I bought it because I wanted to see what it actually did and this thing-

[ The goose waddles over to the open wall closet, tugging on something inside until a jacket pulls free of a hanger, then proceeds to drag it through the dirt for no reason.

Finn speaks up. ] Why? You don't think you've done enou- [ The goose stops, flaps its impressive wingspan and hisses at him before folding its wings back and continues about its business.

After a beat- ] I didn't like that one anyway!

[ The goose stops again and looks at him, apparently annoyed now. It flaps its wings, lowers its neck parallel to the ground, and starts running- The camera shakes- ] No, no, no, no-! [ And the video ends. ]

Comments

video; un: majortom

[winscenario]

[ Jim has burst out laughing about halfway through that broadcast, although to be fair he was a little worried for the first part of it. Once Finn explains what's happening, though... well, it's hard not to be amused that he's hiding on top of the bookcase right now. ]

A goose! That's a goose. [ He snorts and laughs again. ] Oh my God, Finn! I can't believe you got a goose.

[firstdayblues]

Don't tell me you've never seen a goose before...

You gonna need a hand with that?

[hatejakku]

I didn't mean to. [ Look, he fully intended to do that pet shopping trip, okay. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Anyway, he's still sitting on top of the bookcase but the camera's turned to him now. Other than a few scratches, he's at least not hurt. ]

What does it want? Why's it like this? I thought it was scared at first, but now I think it's just trying to take my apartment from me. [ And it's doing a pretty damn good job so far. ]

[hatejakku]

I don't... think we have them back home. I would like to think someone would have warned me by now.

You've dealt with them before?

[ Yes, he's of the full belief that this is some sort of apex predator. It's certainly given Finn the feeling that it's merely allowing him to live. ]

[winscenario]

Well, clearly.

[ If Finn had planned to get an evil home-wrecking pet Jim would seriously worry. Still chuckling, he shrugs at the question, pursing his lips. ]

I don't know. Geese aren't easily scared, they're confrontational and-- honestly, kind of assholes. Have you tried feeding it some treats? Getting it a toy, something to keep it entertained?

video;

[provenforce]

You bought a sphere that generates animals and you're surprised it backfired?

[ Rey arches her eyebrows at the camera, torn between being worried for Finn and flabbergasted that he'd just buy some dumb magic thing. ]

Do you need rescuing?

[hatejakku]

It won't let me in the kitchen. It found out that's where the food is.

[ Everything the light touches belongs to the Goose. He doesn't know how he can give it something when it can just take everything.

Maybe it's the gesture that matters. ] Wait... Like an offering. [ Or a sacrifice. His eyes dart around the room, thinking. ] Okay... Okay. I can do that. It's probably just mad I took it out of its ball or something...

Oh, I'll cook for it! [ Because that's going to work. ]

[hatejakku]

I honestly didn't think it would actually work. I just thought it looked neat. Who ever heard of animals appearing out of spheres, anyway?

[ He'll figure out the science behind it later. For now, he lets out a sigh and leans back against the wall. ]

... Probably. As much as it'll respect a fight, I don't want it to get hurt. Unless it's in self-defense, anyway. I was hoping it'd fall asleep eventually.

Video

[anotheroldfashioned]

[First the guy with the horse. And now his friend/future copywriter is toying with a goose.

Why can't he escape his farm-boy past seriously.]

Has it hissed at you? Have you run from it?

[God this is...well. It's not bad. He's rolling up his sleeves. Then he stops.]

Do you want help?

[firstdayblues]

I try not to. Better to just leave them alone.

Tastes okay though, if you don't mind your meat on the darker side.

[provenforce]

I received a similar magical sphere for a holiday gift and it conjured the Millennium Falcon in miniature form. Most things do what they say they'll do, around here.

[ She sighs, before smiling and nodding her head. ]

Alright, I'll head over and we'll see what we can do about your new friend.

[winscenario]

[ Jim snorts, covering his mouth to hide the grin and the giggle threatening to slip out. ]

I'm sorry. [ Is he though, is he really. ] This is just... hilarious. But don't try to confront it or anything, it looks pissed as hell right now. Give me, uh...

[ He looks around briefly, then back to the camera. ] Fifteen minutes, twenty at most? I'll be there and I'll help you out, okay?

video;

[therewillbeorder]

[He's amused, unable to keep from laughing at Finn's misfortune.]

It seems like you need help.

[hatejakku]

[ Finn's pretty sure he'll look back on this eventually and find it just as funny. Right now, he's too concerned, but he certainly won't fault anyone for laughing. For pity's sake, he was once one of the most powerful beings in the multiverse and now he's getting stepped on by a glorified bird. ]

You sure? If the sofa's anything to go by, I think it can really hurt someone.

[hatejakku]

Really?

Wait, no, no, I'd rather not kill it. This is... my fault? It thinks this is my fault, anyway.

[hatejakku]

[ Wait, the Falcon? How miniature? Does it work? ]

Yeah, okay, but I have a lot of question about the Falcon whenever we get a minute.

Be careful. This thing's taking no prisoners.

[hatejakku]

It's been hissing at me the whole time, yeah. And I ran from it almost immediately. Was I not supposed to?

[ Was that a dominance test he failed? Dammit. ]

You know how to handle one of these things?

oh this is fantastic

[hatejakku]

[ ... Oh. Finn actually managed to forget that he was here. He blinks at the screen. ]

I'm good, thanks.

[winscenario]

[ Sure, Finn, call the animal that can kill you a glorified bird. See how he'll feel about that. ]

I'll be fine. Not the first goose I've run into. [ He starts to get up. ] See you in a bit, alright? Just be good and sit still, and I'll be there soon.

[hatejakku]

All right... [ Excuse him if he doesn't seem totally convinced, but he'll trust James, regardless. ]

Let me know if you need a distraction when you get here.

[anotheroldfashioned]

My dad taught me.

[He's already moving along.] I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere.

[Shit.]

Okay don't approach it again. I'll show you how to handle him. Geese have a tooth on the top of their beak. It takes out skin if you're not careful.



How'd you end up with one?

[winscenario]

I'll let you know. [ But he doesn't think he'll need it. ] See you soon.

[ He ends the call and heads out to find some food and treats that birds like, as well as a squeaky toy he's managed to find. A little over fifteen minutes later, he's at Finn's door, knocking once before he pushes the door open and lets himself in. ]

Hello? [ He's careful as he steps further into the room, looking every way and trying to spot the evil demon goose. ]

{ video } un: bonstempsrouler

[aceso]

[ Activate MomMode™! ]

Why did you buy a mystery sphere in the first place? And why did you wonder what it did when the seller told you an animal would come out of it?

[ She's not mad; she's just disappointed. ]

This place must have Animal Control. Have you tried looking through your device for someone you can call?

[hatejakku]

Shhhh

[ Hi, yes, Finn's above him still perched on his bookshelf. He apparently hasn't deemed it safe to hop down yet.

The goose is on what's left of the sofa. There's stuffing everywhere, and it appears to be in the middle of making some sort of nest. Truly putting a claim on Finn's place, seems like.

But though it has some stuffing sticking out of its bill, the head is raised over the top of the couch, staring at Jim. It looks shocked that anyone would dare enter its domain. ]

[hatejakku]

I thought he was trying to scam me or something, but it looked neat so I bought it, anyway. I didn't think it would-

[ Ugh, what's the point of explaining? She's not wrong.

He drags a hand over his face and freezes. ] Animal control? I didn't even think about that. What would they do with it?