Video; UN: FINN

[hatejakku]

[ The video almost looks like the position a security camera might take, looking down at Finn's living room from a corner. For those that's been to his flat, they might remember a bookshelf is there. Anyway, the place is destroyed.

The couch is ripped apart, tables are broken, books are everywhere, a plant looks to have been torn from the pot and dragged through the white carpet, it's just bad.

The camera pans over towards the hallway where some big brown and black bird comes waddling into the room on webbed feet, head casually scanning on top of its long neck. ]

Can anyone tell me what this thing is. [ Oh, that's Finn's voice. He's whispering and, though he's not in view, sprawled on top of the bookcase. ] I found some shop and this guy told me that animals popped out of some sphere and I bought it because I wanted to see what it actually did and this thing-

[ The goose waddles over to the open wall closet, tugging on something inside until a jacket pulls free of a hanger, then proceeds to drag it through the dirt for no reason.

Finn speaks up. ] Why? You don't think you've done enou- [ The goose stops, flaps its impressive wingspan and hisses at him before folding its wings back and continues about its business.

After a beat- ] I didn't like that one anyway!

[ The goose stops again and looks at him, apparently annoyed now. It flaps its wings, lowers its neck parallel to the ground, and starts running- The camera shakes- ] No, no, no, no-! [ And the video ends. ]

Comments

[have_hat_will_travel]

A dragon threatening a forest can be fought, it can be driven off.

A goose will just keep redoubling its efforts to make your day worse.

[This sounds like a very, very skewed perspective. Technically not wrong, but it's the symptom of someone who once had a very bad encounter with a goose... While being an adventurer.]

[hatejakku]

[ Considering what Finn's going through, the assessment seems accurate. ]

There has to be something I can do. Maybe it just needs placating or something. Like showing off the pecking order. I don't mind swallowing my pride in this situation.

[ For now, anyway. ]

[have_hat_will_travel]

If you're strong enough, you might be able to like, grab it by the neck and push it along without hurting it too much. Lock it in a room maybe and...

I'm not even sure who you'd call for help for this, actually???

[hatejakku]

Grabbing it by the neck won't hurt it? And it won't hurt me? That seems really close to the beak that's apparently filled with teeth.

[have_hat_will_travel]

If you grab it close enough to the head, it won't be able to bend the beak to bite. From there, pulling it around... I think will work?

I'm not trained enough in handling animals to offer a more specific idea. Maybe some way to sedate it? Or just tiring it out, but that means more destruction and we don't want that...

[hatejakku]

[ Finn would love a way to sedate it... ] I wonder if it likes sake.

No. It'd probably just be worse drunk... Right, okay, sure. I can... grab it around the neck...

Yeah...

[ He hasn't moved. ]

[have_hat_will_travel]

That. Might not be a bad way to do it, actually!

Though other sedatives might be better. Got any common medications in range???

[This is a rather bad idea, most human medications are straight-up poisonous to birds!]

[hatejakku]

No.

That might kill it, anyway, though.

It shouldn't be this hard to get rid of a goose...

[have_hat_will_travel]

Especially without harming it... Countryside hazards are a thing, I guess.

[hatejakku]

[ Countryside hazards? What does that mean? ]

I'm just going to open a window. Maybe it'll go on its own and I won't have to get anywhere near its neck...

[ Excuse him while he quietly shuffles through his own flat. ]

[have_hat_will_travel]

.... Good luck.