text | un: fantasma

[teaserving]

all right pay attention two parts in this post
to you new guys the name's leone abbacchio
just abbacchio if i don't know you

one: i have a new office open, riposte investigations. i'll be working with jill valentine as a private investigator. i'll pretty much take on most jobs if you need it done even if you lost your fucking cat or something. if you have any questions about that, let me know

two: been awhile since i did a "you guys have questions, i'll answer them" in general thing as your resident advice guy so that's still an option here so have at. that's substantially way less exciting but go for it

that's it bye

Comments

[nonehorse]

One day, you're going to think back to this moment and smile because it summarises how you feel about Alucard, I bet. So you don't get to lecture me for not being your grandfather's straight-man!

[starmark]

i don't say shit like LIVE LAUGH LOVE what the fuck

[nonehorse]

Not literally word for word, but the spirit of it! The wording is a joke, Jotaro! I don't say things like this either, at least not without due punctuation.

At least I know what to get you for Christmas this year. :)

[starmark]

you are not getting me anything that says live laugh love on it

DO NOT

[nonehorse]

Imagine getting to explain live laugh love to Alucard, Jotaro. I know you'd enjoy that conversation. You're getting a placard for your wall and you can do what you like with it once I give it to you.

[starmark]

NO

how the fuck would i explain something like that even
i don't know what it means to begin with

[nonehorse]

It's self-explanatory, isn't it? Live, Laugh, Love! A mantra that's so important that a lot of the bargain shops in Caihong's seedier areas have posters, mugs, and placards all over with that very saying. Plus, the alliteration makes it so horribly catchy.

It makes me feel like my teeth are sticking together from eating too much hard caramel, when I see those wares on sale. As though someone's shining a light in my eyes and demanding I be unrelentingly positive. Don't worry be happy, for an alien age. What's not to like?

[starmark]

read everything you just wrote again

that's what's not to like
you just described it

[nonehorse]

Oh alright, alright. No ridiculousness allowed. I'll have to get you something else, and then bait and switch with a placard for your birthday next year instead. Or maybe the year after. Or never? You'll never know.