prismatica | VIDEO; un: robotman

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VIDEO; un: robotman

There's some-- some easy solution to all of this, right? Surviving the cycle with your sanity intact? Something I'm overlooking? Am I too distracted?

[Dressed in a black tank top, Robotnik looks... well, stressed out, mostly. And weirdly translucent. And sweaty. Definitely moonblessing issues. His hair's a mess, his mustache isn't faring much better, and he's pacing back and forth judging by the movement of the screen. Of course, the obvious solution is staring him right in the face, but he's ignoring that right now.

He's not even sure why he's bothering with the network. He was intending to suffer in silence, get this over with, get back to what passes for normal around here. But he wants to talk to people. Since fucking when? People are the last thing he needs, ever, but especially now.

Iris, he's concluded over and over again, is indeed the worst.]

Barring the obvious, I mean. It's-- It's incredible. I thought-- I thought I could take it, thought I could handle it. Nothing stumps me like this. [He runs a hand through his hair.] Everything has been... inconclusive. Ridiculous! Inconclusive! Think about it! I can't figure it out! Me!

[He's babbling. But in his defense he's running through his first Iris cycle on the heels of having a serious fucking case of alien-mind-share-device-induced brain junk data. Shit's fucked.]

How the hell do you live like this?

[Yes, he's absolutely making way too big of a deal out of this but he doesn't care.

He'll care later, probably. He'll definitely care later. But not now.]

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Speaking from experience, ignoring Iris' blessings is going to make you go broke.

Namely, replacing your bed, unless you want to sleep with plastic sheets.

[ Not that he's Iris but he Knows Iris Well. You poor thing. He almost sounds sympathetic. I know that I am.]

[He just stares silently for way too long.]

...They need to pick a better word than "blessing," [is all he says when he finally speaks again.

w h y]

[ It's as if this poor man's soul has left his body and left a husk.

Truly, France's talent when interacting with the sexually constipated... only that's. Uh. Not Robotnik's issue right now. Let's not think about that. Oh God. ]

Ha! I cannot say that I disagree with you there. Perhaps I am reaching, but it seems as if you are not comfortable with intimacy?

[ Truly channeling de Sade right now, what a dick. ]

This is not the best place for such a mindset, but perhaps this is a chance to spread your wings!

I have very little interest in... unnecessary human sentiment.

[So the answer is a resounding 'yes'.]

Unfortunately, nobody thought to ask me before I got deposited here.

[Through a portal, by a hedgehog, which he's still pretty sure is the whole reason he's here in the first place. He shrugs.]

We'll see, I guess.

What sentiment holds your interest then? Maybe you could distract yourself with that in the meantime? If your handle is any indication I would say build yourself a lover until you can muster up the nerve to ask an actual person to release some stress.

[ And then build him one. He's not picky. ]

You do not need to be romantically inclined with anyone here to help, you know?

It's looking like that's going to be my plan of action. I'll have to get the parts, of course, and work out the differences in technology, but I think I might have a few ideas...

[Is he actually going to have to run a sex bot shop is that actually what's going to happen IS IT.

Anyway he just kind of skips over the question because he doesn't wanna answer that--]

Romance isn't... exactly the issue either.

[ We stan an entrepreneur, and what better business than the messy kind? France is unfortunately an old as dirt asshole so he shies away from getting elbow deep into most technological things, at least personally, but he's a heathen at heart and curious about this guy's talents. ]

How elaborate is your work? You sound fairly confident you can do this, which I'm not one to doubt unknowingly. It's just a matter of being convincing.

[ Well that's certainly a lead he wants to take. ]

May I ask what is or is that too personal?

It honestly depends on what I'm making and what I intend for it to do. I think this'll be the same level of complicated as what I normally do, just a different variety of complicated.

[Swapping out weapons systems and surveillance technology for... sex toys. Yeah, definitely a different variety.]

Anyway, I'm just generally not the... touchy feely type. At all. Ever.

[Pushing people around is Very Different.]

I'm morbidly curious...

[ Cordis and his libido gonna be the death of him. The last part makes him chuckle. You poor man. ]

I'd get to building quickly then... Iris is admittedly fairly unfriendly to those that enjoy their own space. You do have my sympathies.

[ He'll be happy to check up on him though. Just because. ]

Normally I deal in a variety of drones and other specialized pieces of equipment, that's all. [He doesn't mention all the weaponry and whatnot.] So I guess this'll be applying what I do to a completely different specialization.

[He'd have better ideas with better clarity, but then again he wouldn't need to switch tracks if this wasn't bothering him so much. Joy.]

For some reason work is more difficult when I'm distracted. What a surprise. I'll get it done. Thinks it can beat me, huh? No way.

[ there's a slight pause on France's side]

Drones? To spy on people or... [ you know what? Best to not meddle. Also it's a strange thought of having something that can spy on him. ~~We're assuming that it's not something he's into. But he's into. ]~~

You know, never mind on the one. You may have to purchase a few self-help items until then. To help focus, that is...

[ or just learn how to combine pushing people around with unwanted sexual need. Could be fun. ]

Surveillance is one application of the technology, yes.

[He'd better not be reading too much into that, dammit--

Anyway. Big sigh.]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I went shopping. I'll... try to get my focus back.

[There is a lot of work to do, after all.]

[ Oh the sigh. He feels that sigh. You poor, strange man with fabulous facial hair. ]

I look forward to what you come up with. Oh! If you need a bit of feedback on believability you can always find me.

[ s i n n e r. ]

I'm France, but you may call me Francis if you prefer. Do you have a name to go with that frustration?

[ the most backward introduction ever. Suggest sexbots and then give him your name. great. ]

I guess if I intend to do something like that I might as well do a little market testing... although I prefer "you get what I make and like it." Wait, believability?

[If this guy's looking for realism rather than 'robots that definitely look like robots' he's barking up the wrong doctor,

Either way. A backward introduction indeed... but Robotnik doesn't really care that much anyway.]

Huh. Usually the nickname's shorter, [he observes.

But! Names.]

Dr. Robotnik. You can call me Dr. Robotnik.

[ THERE IS DEFINITELY A PAUSE. ]

What kind of marketing strategy is that? You can't just rely on one product taking off... people like variety.

[ He has his own moment of ignoring questions. Shhh. ]

I thought it was clever. Francis. Frenchman.

[ God he's doing that little hand gesture thing on his end as if he's pointing to visible things, even if this is just a voice chat. BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE'S POINTING. God. What a weirdo. Not to mention, the pride. Yeesh. ]

Anyway, Doctor Robotnik, eh? [ Please France. Don't. ] Do you need someone to check you for a fever? [ He hates himself too. ] I'm kidding, I'm kidding... No, really, I am.

[ Please don't kill him. He just comes back more aggravating. ]

It's the marketing strategy of either you get my expertise, or you don't. The entrepreneurial part is mostly an afterthought.

[He lets out an exasperated groan, though. He's not so sure what's so clever about the name, it's just a pun that's far too stupid for him to really care about, probably (as if he doesn't make his own stupid jokes here and there), but ugh, bad jokes everywhere.

That shit'd probably be at least mildly amusing other other circumstances.]

Ha. Hilarious. PhD, not MD. Not that I don't at least have a working knowledge of medical things, but after five PhDs you really lose interest in scholarly pursuits. Never again.

[At least he doesn't appear to intend to kill him right now!]

I suppose it works for Apple...

[ Again, with all the different timelines and multi-verses going on around in this damned place France isn't sure that his jab at America's pet project is even going to go acknowledged.

The exasperated groan rolls off his back like the proverbial water to duck. He's raised, and subsequently embarrassed, enough wards that he knows a well-received joke when it happens. So what if he's in denial? Maybe he's not and he's enjoying Robotnik's frustration? ]

Five PhDs? Hm... You do have the manic energy of a man that devotes most of his time to himself...

[ So matter-of-fact. ]

Please, Apple wishes they could do what I do.

[He's imagining all of those Apple-branded surveillance devices with a shit-ton of weapons and finds the thought amusing. Luckily, the small smile doesn't exactly show up on voice.]

But yeah, obviously. I'm a busy man with a lot of things to do. For me.

[And the government, but fuck 'em, he ain't dealing with them here. He can focus on his own projects! Except this place sucks. Soooooo it's not that great.]

[ France is slowly starting to suspect that he's talking to a Bad Guy™. An eccentric one. BUT NAPOLEON HAPPENED SO WE'RE JUST GONNA KEEP TALKING. Fuck it. ]

Like what? What are your hobbies and passions besides making Apple envious? I'm always curious about what man self-appoints as their purpose.

[ Space hedgehogs, France. Catching the space hedgehogs. Really he's just hoping to hear anything that leads him away from that sinking feeling. ]

[Luckily, this is a Bad Guy™ in the early stages, who hasn't progressed to anywhere near putting his face on everything and blowing up the moon. Even though destroying Iris would be incredibly cathartic.]

Oh, laughing in the face of Steve Jobs's legacy is only a mere side-effect of my work, not the intent. It's a good one, though. But, honestly, machines are also a hobby for me. Don't they tell you to work with what you love?

[The questions are odd, sure, like anyone actually cares what he does for fun, but distracting in a good way.]

I also like music, if you must know. I know "a little bit of everything" is kind of a cliche and a cop-out, but it's actually true in my case.

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VIDEO; un: robotman

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when double iconing is just reiterating he's a dipshit.

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