audio | un: steinbeck

[graftage]

Hey, guess things have gotten a little greener around here, huh?

[Someone sure sounds chipper - though, in Steinbeck's opinion, why wouldn't he be? All this triple moon stuff is up his alley, seriously. He continues, with that slight characteristic twang as he speaks.]

Anyways, if anyone needs errands done because they don't want to step outside 'cause of the flower problem, I'll be your guy. Groceries, delivering mail, you name it, I'll do it for you. I won't do it for much, either - maybe just a good handshake or two is totally fine.

[And a huff.]

And... also, if anyone needs a helping hand with their plants, I'm down for that too. Not to say much about myself, but...well, I deal with something like the plant thing on a pretty regular basis. Hell, I'll even trim it if it's getting in your way, I have the tools. Just give me a holler, okay? I'm here to help out.

Comments

[graftage]

Hmmm. Depends. If it's anything like mine, it might hurt a bit.

[He's...staring at that sunflower, don't mind him.]

Are you sure you want to trim your new friend, though?

[sweetsleuth]

Oh, this guy's not the problem!

[He shifts, bringing his tail into view-- and it seems to be covered in thorns?? Danger tail. At least there's a pretty flower growing on the end of it?]

I can't sit anywhere without poking myself and it's awful.

[graftage]

Oh. Yikes. That looks a bit painful. Cute, though.

[He'll call it like it is.]

I can pull off the thorns for you.

[sweetsleuth]

I guess it is kind of cute. I match my pet cactuses now. But I think I'd rather be able to lean back without stabbing myself.

[That said, he will totally pan the camera to a little collection of cacti lining his bedroom window... er. One is dick shaped?? And wearing a little sombrero. Why is he like this.]

sorry for the late, ignore if you want!

[graftage]

...

Uh, Ranpo. Why is one of your cacti shaped like that.

kyaa

[sweetsleuth]

Hmm? Oh, those are The Three Amigos!

[He says this like it's an explanation when it's clearly not??]

[graftage]

...

One of your "Three Amigos" is shaped like a dick.

[sweetsleuth]

Obviously! That's why they're The Three Amigos!

But you know, as annoying as my tail is right now-- it could have been worse.

[No one wants cactus dick??]

[graftage]

That explains NOTHING about why one is shaped like a dick, Ranpo.

And...wait. Worse how?

[sweetsleuth]

[...]

[Just gonna shift the camera, taking his little potted cactus dick and posing with it in a Place.]

[Actual cactus dick.]