burningfree: (Lio35)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-13 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
It's volcanic rock. Thirty years ago a lot of volcanoes cropped up all over the world - and I have kind of a personal association with them.

Hah, fair enough. What about tattoos, then?
burningfree: (Lio23)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-14 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Yet? So you're considering them?
burningfree: (Lio7)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 07:42 am (UTC)(link)
That's unique.

Most people don't get tattoos for the experience of feeling one. I'd argue, in fact, most people find that to be the one downside to getting a tattoo.
burningfree: (Lio36)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you referring to 'most people' when you say people are weird, or yourself? 😉

In all seriousness, what about the sensation makes you curious?
burningfree: (Lio52)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Fair enough. I can't say I don't also fit the bill.

This place also seems to attract weird people. I think I've only met a single normal person in all my time here.
burningfree: (Lio8)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
[Huh. That definitely wasn't the response Lio was expecting. He'd met plenty of figurative masochists in his time on earth - one could argue he was one, given how much he was willing to put himself through with no complaint. He couldn't say he'd ever met a literal one, though.]

You enjoy that kind of feeling, then?

I don't know if I can relate. I've experienced physical pain before on such a level that I'm fairly certain even if I never felt pain again, it'd be all too soon.
burningfree: (Lio2)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I've heard that too. Not sure where it's supposed to hurt more, though.

That's poetic, but I doubt you'd be saying that if you'd felt what I felt.
burningfree: (Lio24)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Looks like my generals did theirs in relatively painless places. Doesn't surprise me given they were doing it to themselves.

Maybe you'd still have reasons for wanting to feel it, but I can't think of any for myself. Not to say I can't handle pain any longer, but sometimes it triggers unpleasant flashbacks.
burningfree: (Lio34)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
If I had my choice altogether, I'd rather nothing bad ever happen to my body ever again either.

I used to be able to heal from any injury nearly instantly, so long as it wasn't prolonged and didn't overwhelm me. That's why my piercing wasn't an issue to do to myself back then. If I could have that ability back, I wouldn't even need to worry about pain as a warning system for injury.
burningfree: (Lio68)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-16 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
There are other ways you can feel alive. Warmth and pleasure, for one thing. Being able to feel someone else's arms around you. Moonlacing here makes that even more true.

Not to mention I feel the pain in my nightmares sometimes, which isn't even real. If anything, it makes me feel more disconnected from my body.

I'm not going to say you aren't valid for taking some kind of pleasure in pain, but my perception of it has been warped beyond the point of repair.
burningfree: (Lio52)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-19 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Just as I'm not going to make any assumptions about you, I'd like if you didn't make assumptions about me.

What I went through left me teetering on the edge of death. I couldn't breath, my heart had stopped, and all four of my limbs had disintegrated. It's *literally* painful for me to even recall the actual moments I was being tortured. Those mental scars aren't ever going to go away, even though in the end I was left with no physical ones.

It's something I just have to learn to live with.
burningfree: (Lio2)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-21 07:25 am (UTC)(link)
Funny that you're assuming I've made any assumptions at all. I assure you, I haven't. I don't know anything about you.

It helps that the physical damage was reversed. Or maybe it doesn't. Sometimes it feels like my mind is playing some kind of cruel joke on itself remembering what happened to me when I literally have no physical evidence of the incident.
burningfree: (Lio33)

[personal profile] burningfree 2020-06-21 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
All you've told me is that you appreciate pain. I don't know why, nor do I really care all that much. That's your business, not mine.

Yes.

Not frequently, but when I'm particularly stressed or tired they tend to happen. I try to keep it to myself, though.


[He hadn't really told anyone about them, not even Galo. Usually he'd just go someplace quiet to be alone for a while until it stopped.]

(no subject)

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