prismatica | text; un: ruffestrabbit

no tattoos yet.

Yet? So you're considering them?

that's right. the physical experience of getting one interests me. just haven't found artwork that appealed yet.

That's unique.

Most people don't get tattoos for the experience of feeling one. I'd argue, in fact, most people find that to be the one downside to getting a tattoo.

I'm not most people, and people are weird.

Are you referring to 'most people' when you say people are weird, or yourself? 😉

In all seriousness, what about the sensation makes you curious?

Both. For different reasons.

Fair enough. I can't say I don't also fit the bill.

This place also seems to attract weird people. I think I've only met a single normal person in all my time here.

[Before responding to that other question, though, he quickly changes the settings to offer some privacy. Just because he's willing to answer doesn't mean he wants everyone to see it.]

It's a common experience where someone willingly puts themself through pain, sometimes for hours at a time. It's a lot of needle punctures just in the span of a minute, an hour...

[Huh. That definitely wasn't the response Lio was expecting. He'd met plenty of figurative masochists in his time on earth - one could argue he was one, given how much he was willing to put himself through with no complaint. He couldn't say he'd ever met a literal one, though.]

You enjoy that kind of feeling, then?

I don't know if I can relate. I've experienced physical pain before on such a level that I'm fairly certain even if I never felt pain again, it'd be all too soon.

Just curious what it'd feel like. With tattoos, I've read that the pain level varies between body parts. Some barely hurt; some hurt a lot.

That sounds like some pretty extreme pain you must have endured. Never feeling any pain again at all wouldn't be good, though.

I've heard that too. Not sure where it's supposed to hurt more, though.

That's poetic, but I doubt you'd be saying that if you'd felt what I felt.

People have made charts, like the ones here.

Hmmm. I'd still say it. The reason I do is private.

Looks like my generals did theirs in relatively painless places. Doesn't surprise me given they were doing it to themselves.

Maybe you'd still have reasons for wanting to feel it, but I can't think of any for myself. Not to say I can't handle pain any longer, but sometimes it triggers unpleasant flashbacks.

Would you rather never feel any pain again no matter what happens to your body?

If I had my choice altogether, I'd rather nothing bad ever happen to my body ever again either.

I used to be able to heal from any injury nearly instantly, so long as it wasn't prolonged and didn't overwhelm me. That's why my piercing wasn't an issue to do to myself back then. If I could have that ability back, I wouldn't even need to worry about pain as a warning system for injury.

Feel how you want about it. I will say this. It's not just a warning system. It's valuable evidence that you're alive, and your experiences with it help you relate to others. That's why I can't relate to someone never wanting to feel it ever again.

[There's more he could say, like about how people shouldn't take pain for granted. But hey, he's not in the mood to give some stranger on the network strong hints that he himself can't normally feel pain in the first place.]

There are other ways you can feel alive. Warmth and pleasure, for one thing. Being able to feel someone else's arms around you. Moonlacing here makes that even more true.

Not to mention I feel the pain in my nightmares sometimes, which isn't even real. If anything, it makes me feel more disconnected from my body.

I'm not going to say you aren't valid for taking some kind of pleasure in pain, but my perception of it has been warped beyond the point of repair.

My perception of it has been warped for as long as I can remember. It's possible to feel one way very strongly and later on down the line find yourself unexpectedly able to feel differently. Maybe right now it feels like it's beyond repair, but given time...

Just as I'm not going to make any assumptions about you, I'd like if you didn't make assumptions about me.

What I went through left me teetering on the edge of death. I couldn't breath, my heart had stopped, and all four of my limbs had disintegrated. It's *literally* painful for me to even recall the actual moments I was being tortured. Those mental scars aren't ever going to go away, even though in the end I was left with no physical ones.

It's something I just have to learn to live with.

Chances are high you've already made the same grand, wrong assumption about me that everyone and their mother makes. Cry me a river.

I'll give props for your mental strength, that kind of pain would break most people's minds for good.

Yeah, just something one has to learn to live with.

Funny that you're assuming I've made any assumptions at all. I assure you, I haven't. I don't know anything about you.

It helps that the physical damage was reversed. Or maybe it doesn't. Sometimes it feels like my mind is playing some kind of cruel joke on itself remembering what happened to me when I literally have no physical evidence of the incident.

You know what I've said. And there are assumptions anyone would make based off of that. It'd be like assuming a bird has wings and can fly.

Ever have "phantom pains"?

All you've told me is that you appreciate pain. I don't know why, nor do I really care all that much. That's your business, not mine.

Yes.

Not frequently, but when I'm particularly stressed or tired they tend to happen. I try to keep it to myself, though.

[He hadn't really told anyone about them, not even Galo. Usually he'd just go someplace quiet to be alone for a while until it stopped.]

At least we can agree that it's my business only. I have no intention of revealing the assumption itself, not in text anyway.

That's interesting. I first heard of phantom pains sometime last year so it got me curious.

(no subject)

burningfree - 2020-06-25 05:18 (UTC) - Expand