video; un: kamui

[foeyay]

[It's early in the month, and that means Sanguis time. Kamui apparently doesn't care. His adorably fuzzy red panda ears and dark claws are on full display.]

A coliseum is a place where all the strongest fighters compete.

[Kamui explains to his audience with an air of importance, as if he didn't just learn this himself.]

I heard that Lunatia has a fight club. Or it did, once.

[A rather pointy smile begins to spread across his lips as he pauses for effect.]

Tell me where Lunatia's coliseum is, and I'll meet all of you there.

Comments

[foeyay]

I've never been interested in the cattle.

[Hawhaw, get it? Go have a cow.]

Besides, most employers run when they see my resume.

[Not that Kamui's tried looking for even one real job. How does one become employed when insidious pirates and scheming terrorists aren't around to start wars?]

[mayoninofukucho]

You!! Don't treat me like I'm future beef!

[Ugh!! Why can't he have wolf traits or something? Sure, then he'd get called a dog again, but at least he's used to that already. Anyway, what Kamui says next actually gives him pause. This is a valid argument; who can be expected to hire a boy with frightful strength, no discernible morals, and only unsavoury experiences on his CV?]

...

Have you considered working in the demolition industry?

[That's downright the only thing he can think of... another one might be taking care of large pests like the whitesnakes, but that seems like it would be more of a sporadic seasonal job.]

[foeyay]

You sure seemed against it before!

[No, he was against Kamui destroying the amphitheatre while people were still inside of it.

Same difference.]

Now that you're suggesting it, I'm less motivated.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Not only is Kamui insanely dangerous and destructive, but also a contrarian little shit... that's a personality trait that always drives Hijikata up the wall. An angry vein starts popping out on his temple. Still, he tries to keep his blood pressure down. Outright yelling at a Yato will only result in him suggesting a fight, and Hijikata is trying to get him to consider alternatives here.]

Now listen, I'm trying to help you, and you just dismiss my suggestions on principle? What the hell would make you feel motivated, then?

[He can already guess the answer: fights or food. Well, he's trying to make a case for how a proper job would result of more of the latter for Kamui.]

[foeyay]

[Fights or food. That really is it, isn't it? It's actually a bit demotivating for Kamui to acknowledge this himself. With neither Kagura nor Abuto here... What's the point in achieving anything else?

Kamui hums to himself as he smoothly sets such thoughts aside.]

Why don't you try suggesting it in a bovine accent?

[mayoninofukucho]

[It's okay, Kamui. They all have their weird-ass quirks and laser-focus interests. It's just that most of those are somewhat easier to integrate into Prismatic society. His question, though, really pisses Hijikata off.]

I'm not going to moo for you, you jackass!! This isn't even my problem!

[It kind of is, though, because guess who's going to have to do damage control if the kid goes on a rampage? Damn right.]

[foeyay]

Right?

[Kamui actually laughs at that. Not just that condescending chuckle he so loves. A genuine laugh. This would-be Moon Knight is so dumb. It isn't his problem, so he really needs to stop caring. For his own health if nothing else.]

If you're always so easily distracted, you'll die by your own sword long before you have to deal with me.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata is easy to rile up, he just has that kind of temper. But somehow Kamui's response takes the wind out of his sails.]

I'm not distracted from anything right now.

[Why is Kamui like this? Hijikata is at a loss. Does this kid really care about nothing but power levels, to the point where he doesn't mind being a total nuisance to everyone else? In a way it reminds him of his younger self, only ever looking for trouble to hone his strength and his fighting skills. What got Hijikata out of that lifestyle was Kondou's kindness and friendship, but Hijikata isn't like Kondou. There's no way he can extend unconditional trust towards this little red panda menace. He sighs.]

I guess we'll see who of us dies first, me from letting some terrorist snatch my sword or you from crystallising.

[He has the distinct feeling that he just isn't the kind of person Kamui needs, and while it bothers him he doesn't know who on Prismatica would be the right person.]

[foeyay]

[Nobody should trust this little red panda menace. Rather, he needs someone with both the brute force and gentle patience required to slap his stupid face when he's being a homicidal asshole. He needs another Kagura.

Poor Hijikata already has his own homicidal asshole to worry about.]

Hmmm... [He nods, smiling wide.] I guess we will!

Don't disappoint me, yeah? If you die next week, I won't be able to use you as leverage against your mouthy partner.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Kondou would have the patience - he tamed Sougo after all, or at least got him firmly aligned on the right side of the law -, but not the strength; Sougo has the strength but not an ounce of interest in doing anything but throw it at Kamui in challenge, and Hijikata quite frankly has neither. He perks up in confusion when Kamui mentions the sadistic bane of his existence.]

What the hell is that supposed to mean?! Like Sougo would give a damn!

[Death isn't even permanent here! That goddamned brat would simply visit his temporary crystal grave to write insulting and demeaning messages on it.]

[foeyay]

You'd be surprised.

[Being the second person to kill Toushirou Hijikata just isn't good enough for some people.]

If I really wanted to fight him all out, I wouldn't just be talking to you right now.

[mayoninofukucho]

I have no idea what the hell is going on between you and Sougo right now, but leave me out of it!

[What the hell is the plan here? Does Kamui want to use him as a damsel in distress to somehow hinder Sougo's options in a battle? No, obstructing Sougo would only make the fight less exciting for Kamui. Warped and twisted as Sougo's little mind is, Hijikata at least understands the principles on which it operates. With Kamui it's just one "???" moment after the other. ]

[foeyay]

[Kamui just smiles, silent.

Sweet dreams, Hijikata.]