001 - Text; UN: byleth

[byleth]

Professor Eisner's Advice Box



I am Byleth. Academy Professor. I am not a robot:



Back in the monastery in my world, professors would answer questions left in the advice box. So here's the advice box online. Leave your questions below, and I will answer.

Like this:

Q: Professor, can I have Manuela's home address?

: ❝No❞


[ ooc: anonymous is enabled by default, but anyone can ask under their usernames if they want. ]

Comments

[reprising]

You do that well enough.
You've a very approachable presence, beloved.

I think it's very cute.
Are those "shades"?
I've seen people here wear them and say it makes them look "cool".

[byleth]

To you because you've known me long.
I can say something like:

I am Byleth, not a robot 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎
But a cool professor 😎😎😎😎😎
Send me your advice 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎
😎😎😎

[ How does one internet? ]

[reprising]

[ WHY IS HE SO STUPIDLY CUTE WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE.

No he loves it. He loves it so much!! ]

Byleth...
I think the repetition of not being a robot makes it sound very suspect.

Perhaps you could simply say:

"I am Byleth, and I'll be happy to give you advice.
Please send any questions you have to my box. You may remain anonymous if you wish.
I hope I can help you better than a robot. 😎"

[byleth]

I will save this for next time.
Unless the Prismals feel more comfort speaking to a robot?

[ The robots do seem to be an integral part of their culture. Who's he, an outsider, to judge really? ]

[reprising]

[ Okay he's. Kind of chuckling at this, after that serious convo. ]

They'll have enough to speak with if they do.
But advice is advice.
You're the one giving it, so you should proudly offer yourself as the one behind it.

[byleth]

You're right.
You've become good at giving advice yourself.

You can help next time?

[ It might be a good growing experience for Dimitri. ]

[reprising]

[ He blinks at that... ]

Do you really think I'd be able to?
Your advice has been far more helpful...
I'm afraid all I've done when I've given my own is upset people.

[ He was hardly any help to poor Ingrid, or even in trying to convince Dedue... ]

[byleth]

You're wiser now.
I think you could help lots of people.

Practice on me, if you want.

[ He'll try and think of a question to ask, though he's used to being on the other side of things. ]

[reprising]

On... you.
Right.

[ Stop being dirty, Dimitri. ]

Then... ask me something?

[ He's already bad at this. ]

[byleth]

[ Is Dimitri aware he typed that? Cute.

Ahem. Question time: ]

Professor Blaiddyd,

I'm worried I strained my arm fishing too much the other day.
Sword practice and intimacy have become challenging.
What should I do?

[reprising]

[ When he does, he's going to regret knowing how to type.

Not that that question isn't doing that enough, his eye widens and he gawks at the screen. Byleth, why, what- this isn't helping! Also, Professor?! Him?!! He has given war training, but- but!! ]

I am sorry to hear of your arm's condition.
It sounds like you will have to ask for assistance in any strenuous work, and ensure ample rest.
And you should allow yourself to be sp-

Byleth, did you really hurt your arm!?

[ AAAAA. ]

[byleth]

Minor sprain.

[ He heals fast anyway, but that wasn't the point of the question. ]

Ask help?
With all kinds of activities?

[ He's teasing him on purpose. ]

[reprising]

Byleth, honestly.
You know better than-

And yes, with everything!
I'm going to make sure you don't have to use that arm much at all.
I'm coming home.


[ He actually means it. So much for assistance... ]

[byleth]

You worry too much.
It's not that bad.

Won't say no to arm massage though.

[ If Dimitri's offering... ]

[reprising]

We're in a world where anything could happen.
I know you can take care of yourself
But I'm allowed to worry, too.

I'll massage wherever you want.
My hands will not leave your body.
If there is anywhere else you wish to have touched, you need only ask.


[ This might be as sexy as he's suggesting, even if he's not realizing how he sounds. ]

[byleth]

[ He'd have to be dead to say no. ]

Other places might be sore.
I'll point them all out later.
If you have the time.

[ ...He's the worst teacher on the planet, isn't he? ]

[reprising]

[ Or the absolute best? ]

Why would I not have time for you?
You've healed me countless times, my beloved.
The least I could do is comfort you as deeply and intimately as you've healed me.

How are things at the school now?

[byleth]

They're going fine.
Adapting.

You're also welcome to ask for advice if you need, too.

[ He knows Dimitri already did. He's just humoring his disguise. ]

[reprising]

I already have the answers I sought.
Thanks to you, of course.

[ When? It is a mystery. vO_Ov ]

Though there is a matter I would discuss, seeing as we've been here as long as we have...

But would you rather not live in a larger place than the one we are in now?

[byleth]

I'm glad.

[ He really is bad at this. It's cute. ]

It is crowded with the cats.
Were you thinking of a house?

[ Byleth has never lived in anything so grand, but they do have a lot of chroma now. ]