text, un: bellabelle

[doreimi]

You know...at one point I would've made a post like this anonymously. Not because I'm ashamed or anything, exactly, but because sometimes you just want to talk about things without your name attached, you know? So that it's not really about you, just about the advice you're looking for. Or because you don't want people to look at you differently after they hear about it.

I guess it's because it's been so hot lately that it got me thinking about it. And also because of Cordis, a little. Sometimes I get wings for Cordis, and then all of a sudden my wardrobe gets pretty limited when it comes to...that. But anyway.

Really what I wanted to ask is —

For people who have scars, how do you think about them? Like are they a part of your identity now, or do they still bother you? Do they feel wrong when you look at them? And — if you are okay with them, did you do something to make yourself more okay with them? Or are you just kind of...never going to be okay with them, no matter what?

I have some. I think they're ugly, and hard to look at, and I try to keep them covered up so that they won't bother people who might see them. I guess really what I'm wondering is whether that's a feeling that's ever likely to change.

It's just something that's been on my mind more and more lately, is all.

Comments

[doreimi]

Oh, I know what would happen. I have — WE have a plan.

He's not going to hurt anybody else ever again, I'll make sure of that.

[penpoint]

Look how well it all turned out, though.

Besides, where's the fun in that?

[doreimi]

Oh, it's okay! I don't usually blurt it out because it sometimes bothers people, but I'm used to it by now.

Yup, I died, and so now I'm a ghost.

[grilletto]

yeah?
try me
at this point i'm pretty sure we've all been through some shit

[machizumo]

If it helps, she's really bubbly with a blue ponytail and a pink kimono. And a big oar.

The rest... I don't really know how it works. Koenma complains that he has paperwork waiting practically every time I've seen him. I don't know if people gotta wait but there's some kind of process.

[doreimi]

...

I'd like that, but you don't need to come up with an excuse to take your shirt off around me. You can just do it. Trust me, I won't mind.

[doreimi]

You're so terrible! You can't just say "well, it turned out fine" like that's an excuse for being reckless!

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh you give me such a headache sometimes, Rohan-chan!!

[grilletto]

hey i know i don't need an excuse
i'll take it off any time you want me to
it would've been on my stomach so either way
you know i'm good for it

[lumberlady]

i have met before, in LUNATIA now.

you is feel like ghost here? or... is real ghost in you 's world?

[doreimi]

...What about hell, then? That one, you must just go straight there, right?

[doreimi]

It's a little complicated! I'm...more alive than I USED to be, but I'm still a little bit ghost! I can turn invisible and walk through walls and stuff, sometimes. Not like I was back home, but still a little bit.

I don't really know what it is, but it's not just normal being alive, that's for sure.

[machizumo]

I went to a fighting tournament that's mostly demons and the lead up to that is kinda a whole other thing but ANYWAY
So I eventually fight this creepy little dude who's like a
I don't even know what to call it he can move EVERYTHING like he's made of clay or something.
Anyway he stabbed me a lot with his fingers. Stretched em out like big needles and got me pretty good.
And then his little brother rammed his hand through my sternum later so that was real fun.

I didn't get cut up TOO BAD apart from that. Except one thing with my hand. OOH and I got crushed real bad one time but that didn't really leave anything cause my skin didn't get ripped up.

[doreimi]

Haha, I figured as much! You wouldn't have offered to show me if it'd been anywhere embarrassing, so that kind of narrowed it down.

You guys really had to make some crazy choices back in Italy, though, huh?

[penpoint]

What I'm reading is 'Good job, Rohan-chan, I'm proud of you'.

It's not like I was intentionally being reckless. [ usually ] Things are going to always happen, and at least I'm able to deal with them now.

[machizumo]

I think you get funneled through the same place. You go to Spirit World and then they figure out which direction to send you in.

Maybe they figure it out beforehand though and you go straight to wherever. I had a friend who died and they apparently knew he wasn't supposed to die just then.

Kinda freaky that they're keeping track of that actually. How the hell's that work??

[teaserving]

eh he said we'd get to it but you know how it turned out

i think its fine so long as you dont walk away without any regrets
but dont go into it thinking its gonna be magical either
just
be honest with each other
that's the best thing you can do

[teaserving]

SHOULD have i heard about it from someone else?

[bolderfell]

[Therion suddenly feels fairly lucky he got off with forced-but-paid labor after wronging this one.]

That's the spirit. Guess you won't need a knife hidden under the counter at your cafe, then.

[grilletto]

holy shit
the demon thing kind of threw me but i guess anything's possible
i mean i've been shot a lot and had a weird fishing line under my skin
going for my heart while everyone else was turning old
like wrinkles and everything
almost took down everyone on the whole fucking train
one of the guys had his teeth fall out
so i'm not gonna judge you for the demon thing

but if it's wild like that
what do you end up telling them with the finger scars
if they look like needles i could be easy i guess but you know

but what the hell crushed? seriously? did you die?

[grilletto]

well i guess if i'm being honest
if it were somewhere embarrassing i'd probably still show you if you asked
maybe
i mean only if you asked
because i'm not gonna assume you wanna see everything

but when things go crazy, you have to be able to improvise
sometimes that included a stapler and some tape

[torsion]

I'm not exactly an expert in the subject, as you might've guessed.

I'm sorry.

You wanna maybe go shopping? Make a day of it and see what we can find? My treat.

[doreimi]

I'm always proud of you, that's never changed. The two things aren't mutually exclusive!

You're right, though. You've really grown up a lot...and even if there's always a part of me that'll feel responsible for you, I know deep down that you can take care of yourself. Even without me.

[grilletto]

NO??? I JUST WANTED TO BE SURE
CHRIST
I DON'T TOUCH EVERYONE I MEET

[teaserving]

i didnt say that
but now im wondering

[doreimi]

...Oh. Oh, I don't like that thought at all, the idea that there's a point when you're "supposed" to die and somebody else already knows it...

Oooh, that gives me the creeps! What a terrible thing to have to live with.