text, un: bellabelle

[doreimi]

You know...at one point I would've made a post like this anonymously. Not because I'm ashamed or anything, exactly, but because sometimes you just want to talk about things without your name attached, you know? So that it's not really about you, just about the advice you're looking for. Or because you don't want people to look at you differently after they hear about it.

I guess it's because it's been so hot lately that it got me thinking about it. And also because of Cordis, a little. Sometimes I get wings for Cordis, and then all of a sudden my wardrobe gets pretty limited when it comes to...that. But anyway.

Really what I wanted to ask is —

For people who have scars, how do you think about them? Like are they a part of your identity now, or do they still bother you? Do they feel wrong when you look at them? And — if you are okay with them, did you do something to make yourself more okay with them? Or are you just kind of...never going to be okay with them, no matter what?

I have some. I think they're ugly, and hard to look at, and I try to keep them covered up so that they won't bother people who might see them. I guess really what I'm wondering is whether that's a feeling that's ever likely to change.

It's just something that's been on my mind more and more lately, is all.

Comments

un: clearwater2000

[nojohnyouare]

Some people have seen mine. Difficult. But they haven't brought them up. As for how I feel... Unsure. I don't know what to think about what caused them, either. Maybe that's why.

[doreimi]

Are they in kind of a visible place, your scars? Or can you cover them up pretty well?

text | un: druidic

[arrowroot]

Most of mine I feel are a part of me. Lessons learned the hard way, markers of my past and the struggles I've had.

There are two, though... both from the same incident. It's been years and I still get uncomfortable looking at them in a mirror, or letting more than a little bit of them show. I don't know if it's because they're so big, or because of what caused them.

[doreimi]

So there's something different about those two than about the others, then. Are they the biggest ones you have?

text, un. angel

[schmisse]

It's not something I actively try to hide, but I do understand that it raises a lot of questions. The scars I have, no matter who may have seen them, aren't things friends ask about, though. I thought differently.

They're proof of who I am. I didn't like them at first, but I never hated myself for them.

[doreimi]

Is it that your friends don't ask because they're too polite to, or something else?

I...hm. I guess mine are a little different. I don't want to think of them as being a part of who I am at all, even if I guess in a way they are.

text | un: konoha

[lumberlady]

sorry to hear of you 's trouble.

for i, is some time scary to remember how scars happen. but on normal day... is fine.

but i 's scar is most from work or animal attack. maybe is thinking different if cause is different.

[doreimi]

Yeah...I think the cause has a lot to do with it, probably.

Do you have a lot of them?

text | un: tsukuyo

[tsukky]

I have 2 on my face that I couldn't hide even if I wanted to. I used to wonder if things would have been different for me if I didn't have them but now I've accepted them.

You shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed.

[doreimi]

I don't think ashamed is really the word for it, no. I guess maybe "uncomfortable" would be better?

Either way, I know for a fact that things would've been a lot different for me, without mine.

Text; anon

[bolderfell]

[...Isn't this his boss? He didn't think someone like her would've ever... well, been hurt. Not like he was. But he's been proven wrong about that kind of thing over and over before.

Hmm.]

There are some I don't really care if people see. They don't mean anything. Whatever people assume about them is their own damn problem, and usually it works out in my favor, anyway. Only reason to keep them covered is to avoid drawing too much attention.

But there are others. Five, six years, and I still don't like to look at them myself.

Seems like it really depends on how you got them, doesn't it. On who or what hurt you, or what you were doing to put your skin on the line.

[doreimi]

Yeah...I think that's it exactly. Scars are more than just memories — they're proof of things that happened to you. So it depends a lot on what it was that happened, I think, that decides how you feel about the scars.

text; greenbean1

[wildsorcery]

I only... I only have two, and while one's hidden they're both, um, pretty big and worry people. I used to feel like... like I deserved them, then I hated them, but it's... getting better once I had people who accept all of me.

[doreimi]

Deserved them? What do you mean by that?

[suspecteverything]

That depends on a lot on you, mu tara, and the people around you. The right people will learn not to see the scars, which will help you notice them less over time. They will always be there, you will always be aware of them to some extent, and if there's pain behind how you received them that doesn't always fade much either. Physical damage heals much faster than mental damage. Unfortunately a lot of scars are inextricably linked with mental pain. That combination makes it all the worse.

Trust me. This is one thing I have significant experience in, particularly since I come from a culture that highly values pristine physical beauty.

Thanks to my wife, I don't view my scars as horribly as I used to. While I still keep them covered in public to avoid upsetting others, I've also come to accept that what I often initially view as disgust over them could actually be rooted in sympathy and pain for my hurts.

[doreimi]

I think that's part of it for me, too. What you said about how people react, I mean. And I know that it probably is sympathy, and I don't want to discount that, but...

I guess...when I got my scars, I sort of stopped being normal. And so now it's like I can't ever hope to be normal again, if they're there where people can see.

( TEXT. ) un: SUGARSAMURAI69 1/2

[naturallywavy]

i have a few

_{[ Gintoki, they cover your whole body. ]}

though, they never show up in original artwork... guess the official team is just slacking...

sometimes, they're just put there in a design to make a character look sooooooo cool.. where did that character get that scar??? nobody knows.. it's just there

other times it's explained
like zoro-kun's huge scar

that's how you know the mangaka can write

2/2

[naturallywavy]

anyway
a body is just a soul's vessel

don't worry about it
be more concerned about how your spirit looks instead

text | j.valentine

[torsion]

I keep mine covered. Some aren't in particularly attractive places and I guess it can hinder me in an intimate way.

It makes me angry some days and other days it's a reminder. Survival, that it happened and I can't change things, that all there is now is going forward. That it can't be changed and this is part of me now.

Are yours from what I think they're from?

[doreimi]

Yeah, they are. It makes having wings really hard because they're on my back. It makes it hard to wear a bathing suit in this hot weather, too. :(

text | un: fantasma

[teaserving]

im constantly reminded of how ive never been properly fisted
i hate everything

[doreimi]

Niichan!! GROSS!!!

text, un: KUWABARA

[machizumo]

I guess I don't really think about them very much. Except if I have gym or whatever.

Most of them aren't too bad. If anybody asks about them, I just lie.

[doreimi]

Oh? What kind of lies do you tell? I mean, some scars must be pretty hard to lie about, right...?

text | un: kishibe

[penpoint]

Reimi-chan.

[ you know, he won't go into the whole 'there's nothing wrong with your scars thing' on the network but -- ]

I would, though, Josuke-kun healed me so many times that any I would have had would be gone.

[doreimi]

You would've known it was me even if I'd gone anonymous, right, Rohan? So I figured, why not just be brave? I might as well.

...Wait.

Healed you so many times? How many times did you get hurt???

text; un: pewpewsp;

[grilletto]

first i wanna say
i'm so fucking proud of you for being able to talk about this
this is good
so good
like you're good

i never really thought about scars much when i had them i guess
i'd have a ton if it weren't for giorno
there was one that's gone that i'm kind of sad about
but only because it was closed with staples and some tape
it felt pretty badass

[doreimi]

Haha, I'm doing my best! It's kind of nervewracking, but...I mean, let's be honest, you guys would've known it was me in an instant, right?

...Staples and tape? You mean like getting stitches?

text; un: mickeymouse

[getstoned]

i think i'm pretty grateful that the doctors here decided not to send me back here without scars
not because i think they're ugly or something
i think in a lot of cases they tell a story and remind you of a hard lesson learned

but i also don't care to have people ask about them if i did have them because it's really not something i want to talk about at this moment in time

with that said, i don't know what happened to cause you to have scars that you don't want uncovered
that's your choice to share details and i feel like anyone that knows you would respect that

you're a sweet girl, and i don't feel they would make you seem any less cute than you are now
because what's important is how you are rather than how you look

[doreimi]

I think that's kind of the problem, with mine, is the only lesson they really taught is, there are terrible people in the world and sometimes they do bad things for no reason. That's not a very optimistic lesson.

You get it, though, right? How when you've got something like that, and people find out about it, all of a sudden it's a part of you in their minds. Even if they want to be nice about it, you're still that girl with the scars, or whatever.

text; un: marmorapaladin

[undeserted]

Mine's right on my face
so it's kinda hard to hide it

[ Is he being funny or serious? Impossible to tell with Keith. ]

[doreimi]

[Oh, boy, a wild tsundere appears! Her favorite.]

On your face, huh. Is it really disfiguring, or is it like, one of those cool scars that make people think you're tough and savvy?

un: 7FFF00

[hierophany]

I'll be honest, I havn't had time to consider my own scars much yet. I'm fortunate - all but one can be covered with cosmetics fairly easily and the last one with clothing.

But you are asking the wrong question, I think. People are always going to experience a response to seeing something that doesn't look right. And your being concerned about that response has very little to do with any scars and far more to do with feeling responsible for making people uncomfortable. The former isn't going to change. The latter might, but caring about people's comfort less is not in itself a change for the better.

Perhaps it might be more appropriate to ask if that part of your body will truly feel like yours again. So that people seeing it would see a part of you and not a part of something horrible.

Or perhaps I am projecting. That is entirely possible.

[doreimi]

That's how mine are, too. They're on my back, so it's pretty easy to cover them up, except when I get wings and they get in the way.

Anyway, I think...

I don't know. What that guy did to me is a part of me whether I like it or not, but I don't think I really want it to be.

[text | @hot.damn]

[circumitus]

you know
just realized something

surprisingly never had anyne ask about the scars

guess most just assume by appearance

nevr tried to hide them tho
after awhile they become something of an identity
wouldnt be able to recognize the person in the mirror withiyt them, feels like

[doreimi]

What do you mean, assume by appearance? Like people just expect you to have some? Or do you mean they assume they know what happened just from looking?

text / un: hiei

[jaganshi]

I heal too quickly for most injuries to scar, but I do have some.

They are usual for demons, though. Everyone has scars, it's just a matter of how obvious they are or if they identify you as a strong fighter or as someone who has survived something heavily damaging and traumatic.

I don't think about them very often.

[doreimi]

Demons, huh...so I'm guessing that's what you are? I mean, I'm not trying to sound judging or anything, I had some friends here who were vampires before. I just want to know so that I can be polite.

Do you think one is better than the other? I mean, fighter scars or trauma scars.

text; un: deathweaver

[respired]

scars all over

most significant is the death scar

from impalement.

it doesn't bother me any more

than any of the others. flesh is flesh

[doreimi]

...Well, yeah, flesh is flesh, but it's still yours and you still have to live with it.

I mean...sort of. On account of the whole dying thing, and all.

text, un: strawhat

[rubberpirate]

My scars are what tells others ow much I've fought!

Except the one on my face, that was a dumb one.

[doreimi]

Oh? What makes the one on your face any different?

text; un: magicowl

[getting_better]

It's a pretty mixed bag. I was in the army and some of the scars I received were from defending my comrades. Most were the result of some unfortunate circumstances and or bad life choices. I won't deny that they're part of who I am but, I do understand that people feel uncomfortable when they see them. Especially the grizzlier ones.

[doreimi]

Are they pretty easy to cover up, at least? So that you can put them away and not bother people, if that's what feels right?

That's how mine are. I can usually cover them up, but it puts kind of a damper on what I can wear, sometimes.

text | un: revolutionary

[justhungup]

I wish I could give you some inspirational speech about how scars only mean what we want them to mean, but... well, I'd be lying if I tried to claim that.

I've got some big scars. I hate them. I don't think I'm ever gonna stop hating them.

[doreimi]

...Yeah. That's how I feel about mine, too. I mean for me it's more complicated than that, there are layers to my feelings, but hate is a pretty big one.

un: sinistra | voice

[bisection]

That scar... it is a memory of what happened that day. It is proof of what happened to me. Of why I should not 'be' anywhere. But it is there and I cannot do anything about it.

I suppose that I am... conflicted about it. There are others, but that scar, it is the largest and carries the most weight.

UN: The Archivist

[the_archivist]

I find them uncomfortable. Some of them are physically uncomfortable still. All of them are emotionally and mentally uncomfortable.

I can't imagine ever being fine with them.