text, un: bellabelle

[doreimi]

You know...at one point I would've made a post like this anonymously. Not because I'm ashamed or anything, exactly, but because sometimes you just want to talk about things without your name attached, you know? So that it's not really about you, just about the advice you're looking for. Or because you don't want people to look at you differently after they hear about it.

I guess it's because it's been so hot lately that it got me thinking about it. And also because of Cordis, a little. Sometimes I get wings for Cordis, and then all of a sudden my wardrobe gets pretty limited when it comes to...that. But anyway.

Really what I wanted to ask is —

For people who have scars, how do you think about them? Like are they a part of your identity now, or do they still bother you? Do they feel wrong when you look at them? And — if you are okay with them, did you do something to make yourself more okay with them? Or are you just kind of...never going to be okay with them, no matter what?

I have some. I think they're ugly, and hard to look at, and I try to keep them covered up so that they won't bother people who might see them. I guess really what I'm wondering is whether that's a feeling that's ever likely to change.

It's just something that's been on my mind more and more lately, is all.

Comments

[doreimi]

I mean, they DO, but sometimes I just want to wear a cute bikini like all the other girls, you know? :/

It's pretty tricky, though. Usually if I can keep the wings extended they'll cover up what I need to keep covered, but that's hard on the muscles.

[torsion]

Yeah, I know. I have a hard time finding compression bras that go up to the clavicle. Then it looks awkward.

Probably only good for a little bit and uncomfortable, especially inside a building.

Hate to suggest it, but have you tried any kind of makeup?

[doreimi]

That'd be some pretty impressive makeup, to stay on while I went swimming.

But I think there's too much of it, anyway. To, um...cover up. It's pretty bad.

[torsion]

I'm not exactly an expert in the subject, as you might've guessed.

I'm sorry.

You wanna maybe go shopping? Make a day of it and see what we can find? My treat.

[doreimi]

Aw, I'd like that a lot! And maybe I'll get brave and just go for the bikini, anyway. I mean, once upon a time I wouldn't have made a post like this under my own name, so anything's possible, right?

[torsion]

Hey, I'll back you up, regardless. And you could definitely wear one well.

Sometimes you can change for the better, you know? And grow.

[doreimi]

Yeah. It's been almost a year now, since I got here, and it's pretty surprising how far I've come! It's pretty wild, thinking back to where I was when I arrived, and then looking at my life as it is right now.

[torsion]

Same. I arrived in late August of last year. You were about the same time as me, weren't you?

Look at you, a cat cafe and logged in, username posts. Not that I mean to tease. I think you've changed some, too. In bigger ways.
Happier ways.
I think I'm better off than I was, as well.
Less stressed, decent hair dyeing skills, and a cute significant other. What more can a gal ask for?