UN: 👋

[facepalmchampion]

[[An almost gaunt looking figure shuffles himself, and his fancy new outfit thanks to the festivities, in a seated position to get more comfortable. For the most part there is a metallic stopper on the back part of the wrist of a hand covering the man's face]]

These posts always made me wonder what kind of civilization I've been pulled into that we all sit around and talk to ourselves until other people do or don't decide to talk back.

[[He turns his head in what seems to be an attempt to get any knots out of it, while he speaks, eventually settling it back on the most comfortable spot on the arm of his couch.]]

Before any of you kind souls tries to gg me on being here, sitting by myself, talking into the post, I'm aware. Your humour is dry. I'm just bored and thought I'd follow the herd like every other upstanding citizen. So here I am, talking to myself and curious about what those out there, will say back.

Comments

un: sinistra

[bisection]

I spent at least ten years with no one to talk to.

I suppose it makes no difference to me if I am talking to someone or talking to a void.

[facepalmchampion]

The last ten years? I'm asking the obvious: Why?

You've piqued my curiosity to if that's true or not even now.

[bisection]

I died. But I was not 'gone', but I was dead. I could see and hear many things. But no one could see or hear me. Not for a long time.

[facepalmchampion]

[[Excuse him while he sits up just a little more. He has to be sure he's hearing this right.]]

You died? That sounds more like a coma than death.

[bisection]

No, I remember that I died. My brother and I... Had one heart between us. So when we were too big for us to survive that way it was decided that I would be the one to die.

I guess you could say. I was a spirit ? It... May not make much sense outside of our world which was twisted as God went mad. Things like that became possible, I suppose.

[facepalmchampion]

[[He's quiet for a few moments, contemplating what he's just heard.]]
It doesn't make sense. You're right, not to me because I'm not from your world...

[[The hand, and thus his head turns, it's obvious he's gearing up to add the obligatory 'but']]
I do sympathize being put aside by a society who decides you're unfit for their purposes. Why did they think you were the lesser of you and your brother?

[bisection]

... Our heart resided in his chest. From the start, I was probably seen as a parasite. He chose not to die with me, so when they separated us, that was it.

I could not tell you why they let me live as long as they did. But that was what happened.

[facepalmchampion]

[[His voice is sincere, it's sincere because he means what he says next. He's been through a separate hell, but he can't imagine not having overcome it after being pulled out by someone who understood.]]

How terrible to be considered anything but yourself by a world already wrought with enough chaos by a god forgetting the rest of you. I haven't been in your situation, but I understand being forsaken and left to utter ruin by the ones who were supposed to be taking care of us.

[[He sits back, one of his own hands on the side of his head to prop it up on the arm of his couch. He's never met someone dead who didn't stay dead. Especially in his reach. There's other questions he wants to ask, and he might, but he's playing this by ear.]]

If you died back where you were, how are you here?

[bisection]

It is not Her fault. There were... machinations against God to make her that way. It is a complicated story. I only know some of the details because of my existence following my death. In the tower where She is held. I heard things while my soul was trapped in that place.

... I am not sure. This body and my state of being here are a mystery to me. It barely feels real. I barely feel real.

[facepalmchampion]

[[He picks up before the clarification that this god is a female incarnation of sorts. He's never considered Gods or god that wasn't All for One, or himself now. But however, it takes him a few moments to actually hit the button to speak again. He's taking a few seconds off screen to recompose himself. Thinking about these things, the things he went through too, troubles him at times.

When he does, he's much more composed outwardly than he feels inwardly.]]

You don't sound very upset. If that were me I don't think I would be as placid now that I had a second chance.

[bisection]

... If I allow myself to boil over, there would be collateral damage in my life here I could not repair. I think, though, eventually, I will crack. But, for now, I'm held together.

I think the word would be 'festering'. A lot is festering inside. Rotting.

[facepalmchampion]

[[Shigaraki is quiet. He's never met someone that sounds like they could emulate him so specifically. If this person means physically, Decay has always been his ace in the hole and hearing these specific words has him not only thrilled but a little concerned. Not for anyone but himself, of course. Even if he's quiet while he's contemplating he finally opens his mouth to speak from behind the hand.]]

So that does mean you're upset. Are you trying to save people, or save yourself? I say let it out now, then, while it's small and manageable. Something like that isn't concerning or frightening if it's managed when it's easy to manage. What's the worst you could actually do?

[bisection]

... The person who would feel it the most is the only person I live for. One would call it a 'complicated' attachment. Whether I take it out on him. Or that man. Or strangers. He would feel it the most... and I think both of us would finally collapse under the tension between us.

[facepalmchampion]

[[This is where they deviate, but he understands in a nutshell and he's nodding his head slowly.]]

Which is why while it's small and manageable you should be handling it. If he's the person you live for and he can't understand that you're in pain...

[[He trails off with a shrug of his shoulder.]]

Listen to me, really listen. Take care of your issues while you can before they turn into something more pressing.

[[For him. Pressing for him. He doesn't like the sound of this and doesn't like that it can challenge him in his own mind. This isn't out of the goodness of his heart.]]

[bisection]

[ He is not sure how small it is. Ten years of sitting in that tower, warped by his brother's perceptions and his own. Sitting in memories of pain. Living with the Archangel and committing to a terrible arrangement with mutual benefits.

How small is it? ]

'Take care of it'. I... suppose I need to decide how and what that will mean in the end.

[facepalmchampion]

That depends.

[[He's said it as smoothly and easily as the conversation flows along.]]

You haven't told me what you're capable of. Just that you're capable of it. If you need to lock this, lock it, but you're giving me half the story and this lore isn't deep enough yet for me to give you what you need.

[bisection]

There is no reason.

I am not like my brother. I cannot purify things. I have nothing... 'special' about me, beyond my being here despite my death. I am just used to killing. There were times when I could 'take over' my brother's body. I guess it would be similar to... possession. And in those times, I would have to kill the distorted metabeings there. The things that were once people. A sword, a gun, my hands: I can use these things, but I have nothing 'special'.

But I know, at this point, if I really wanted to let myself unravel, someone would be dead. And I fear who it might be.

[facepalmchampion]

That's not true. You have something a lot of us don't have here, the drive to kill if you need to. Did you do it to protect him, your brother, yourself essentially or was it also the people around you?

That's why you do it in small steps. Small outbursts. Maybe even around people who you trust to stop you.

[bisection]

It was necessary to survive. Not only to keep from... being killed ourselves. But to eat. Those grotesque beings, and the corpses they left behind, were the only food there. It was necessary. But... I suppose, at times, there were others to protect, too. [ Really, it was just Alice, to the extent she needed protected considering what he understands her to be. ]

I... could try that. That man could stop me... as well as I could stop him, probably.

[facepalmchampion]

There were no ways to protect small farms? Or plant things in strategic places?

[[He's not asking with an intent to be sarcastic, it just sounds like something there has to be a reason for.]]

Whoever the vague man you're talking about, you should contact. I don't want to have to mop up the messes of others because none of us knew to have a small outlet. Please do us all the favour before it becomes a problem.

[bisection]

Who could? And where? Everything, everything is distorted. Grotesque. This place... Is the first time I have seen things like a garden first hand.

'Do us all a favor'. I see...

[ He supposes, even with no abilities, there were things only he could do. He isn't kind like his brother, or he doesn't think so. ]