text; un: anonymous;

[grilletto]

okay so i have some questions for the general public
which is you guys

first: if you sent someone to jail on their birthday but they probably forgave you should you be worried that they or a family member is gonna
i don't know
come after you
or something like that
not that it happened
but hypothetically i guess

second: anyone have any thoughts on being called "puppy"?
is it a compliment?
an insult?
i kind of need some outside opinions here

uhhh
yeah that's it
thanks

[ all replies will be anonymous unless stated otherwise ]

Comments

[grilletto]

holy shit i’m not the one that handcuffed her???

i didn’t know it was her birthday until i had already called the moon knights
i didn’t have that many options!
what should i have done?
shoot her??

[swaylay]

Was she mad that you didn't wish her a happy birthday?
I mean, my ma gets pretty homicidal when she doesn't get things her way.

I've never tried to shoot her though, and that's something I'm pretty good at.

[ Eros isn't this thick. Really. He is, most certainly, having a proper go with this poor anon. ]

Should I ask what she was doing that got you all defensive?
It seems like the knights helped you once. Surely they could step in in her family sought out revenge. 😂😂

[grilletto]

look it's not like i knew it was her birthday before it all happened!
all i knew is that she was blasting music
i asked her to turn it the fuck down
and do you know what she did?
she turned it up
so i told her again and she still ignored me
so i called the moon knights, right?
and she comes over and tries to give me cake
you know right in the middle of all this shit
so i'm like what am i supposed to do with it? eat it??
so i threw it on the ground
and then she got arrested

and the thing about revenge is that you don't know when it's coming right?
so how the hell am i supposed get help if it's an ambush?
the only thing i have to defend myself with is my gun and like i said
i really don't want to shoot her
or her dad
because that would be super fucked up

[swaylay]

Wow. Give me a second to unpack that autobiography you just sent me.

She was being a bit unruly, despite you asking her to keep the music down.
She came over with an apology cake.
You slammed her apology (and probably birthday but you didn't know so ok) cake to the ground.

But SHE got arrested? You sure she didn't punch you in your face first? That sounds like she punched you for wasting her apology birthday cake. Which I can't even say was undeserved.

Maybe you could be proactive and apologize to her dad for getting his girl arrested?
That might be a good start, I mean, this whole situation sounds like a bad rom-com.

[grilletto]

first of all: it was definitely her birthday cake
and i already apologised for being a dick
so you'd think that it'd be over right??
all i wanted to do was to tell her dad that it was her birthday in two days
and he kept asking me why i knew so what was i supposed to do?
lie?
i just wanted to sleep and listen to the carpenters that night
i didn't want to hear bitch better have my money on a weird fucking loop

second of all: this definitely doesn't sound like a bad rom-com
this doesn't even merit bad rom-com because we already knew each other
i mean i know the rules from good movies don't apply to bad ones but
come on, seriously?
have you even seen a bad rom-com?
i can't remember seeing one that started out with a guy being cursed
by someone pretending to be a witch or something

[swaylay]

God the guy probably thought you were trying to date his daughter.
I kind of feel bad for the high hopes that he probably had for all of ten minutes before you went and crashed them.

[ He has no idea who The Carpenters are, nor Rihanna but he probably would have sided with this mystery woman as far as taste in music is concerned. Also this person talking about bad rom-coms. Pls. ]

I was going off of the info I had. You didn't mention anything about a witch.
Unless you meant to type a 'b' instead of a 'w'.

Maybe you're a match made in heaven. I could always help you out if you're in a pinch.

[ stop torturing the anon and ignoring everything oh my word Eros. ]

[grilletto]

no i'm pretty sure he would never think i was trying to date his daughter
i don't even think he likes me that much so i don't know what he would have gotten his hopes up about

and i definitely mean witch
i don't think i'd ever call her a bitch
or any woman really but that's not important right now

anyway what about this makes it sound like we're a match
we're friends that hang out and stuff
are you trying to set me up with her or something?
is that seriously what you're doing?