001 | ( VIDEO. ) | JULY 30th

[pubertytwice]

_{[ The feed clicks on and shows a kid appearing no older than 13 seated back in a chair, curled knuckles against his face. His eyes look tired and expression rather thin. He's wearing a uniform of some sort, though pieces of it look tattered or stained. One of his legs bounces in his seat (aren't his shorts cute?) but after a moment of mulling over what to say, he leans forward, hands folding together neatly. ]}

I already lack faith in gathering information from anyone here, and yet, here I am with inquiries. Serious responses only.

_{[ What could this boy possibly be asking for?? Where is the best place to get ice cream? Hardly so. ]}

Has anyone has ever even attempted hacking into any confidential files that could be in the government's system that operates here? Alternatively, if anyone has ever attempted to assassinate the Queen?

_{[ Oh.. what.. ]}

If not, is there any place on this goddamn planet that serves coffee? Decent coffee. Every place here is a shit hole.

_{[ That's it. No thanks for your time or anything. ]}

Comments

voice

[coolerjunpei]

You sound like a cop trying to pretend he's not a cop.

[You know, besides being so... small? So little. Whatever, that's not the point. The point is:] I know a place with decent coffee. One of those bookstore cafes, but take what you can get. Some of the stuff around here's practically paint thinner.

[pubertytwice]

I can do much more justice than any cop could ever do.

_{[ He doesn't mean to sound so arrogant, but alas, it's kind of his default state. ]}

A bookstore cafe, huh? Not sure how that one breezed past me. What's the location?

[coolerjunpei]

[This smug child... You know, Junpei can appreciate this level of frank, uh, confidence? If it can be called that. He takes a moment to look up said bookstore cafe on his device before pinging the location over. It's unremarkable, but the coffee is good, please enjoy.]

What kinda justice are we talking about? Assassination kind, or hack into the embarrassing Christmas party photos and spread them around kind?

[pubertytwice]

I've done a little bit of both in my life.

_{[ This is.. entirely true. He was quite a prankster among his family in his youth, and in his older age, well.. it was his career to snipe targets. ]}

[coolerjunpei]

[.....>adult life is already so goddamn weird.mp3]

So what, you're a spy or something? What's your spy name?

[Does he believe all of this? You know, he just might.]

[pubertytwice]

_{[ God, yeah. His life is pretty damn weird too. ]}

It's confidential.

_{[ Mostly cause he doesn't like talking about this aspect of his life, let alone with a stranger who he certain wouldn't understand his work. ]}

But I killed a lot of people.

_{[ Okay, he's not joyful with killing, but he's proud of his work. ]}

[coolerjunpei]

Oh. Yeah, fair enough.

[Objectively, he should take issue with killing a lot of people, and don't get him wrong, he totally does! But there's no murder movie style boasting about just saying it like that, so that's-- something?]

So uh, information, huh? Pretty sure you have to get a government job to learn anything besides how special it is that we sprout animal parts sometimes.

[pubertytwice]

I don't have time for that. Making my own efficient plan it much more productive than following the rules of "the man" here. However, I've worked with officials that are much more important than a "government" so you could say I have a nice resume if I were to choose that route.

[coolerjunpei]

Hell yeah, stick it to the man. [Completely deadpan, but genuine enough. You do your thing, little dude.]

Is that "officials" stff classified, too? What are you, off-the-grid Batman?

[pubertytwice]

Something like that. I guess our family was rich like Batman.
I think most of us grew out of the vigilante kind of thing besides Diego.

But I mean, whatever helps him sleep at night.