001 | ( VIDEO. ) | JULY 30th

[pubertytwice]

_{[ The feed clicks on and shows a kid appearing no older than 13 seated back in a chair, curled knuckles against his face. His eyes look tired and expression rather thin. He's wearing a uniform of some sort, though pieces of it look tattered or stained. One of his legs bounces in his seat (aren't his shorts cute?) but after a moment of mulling over what to say, he leans forward, hands folding together neatly. ]}

I already lack faith in gathering information from anyone here, and yet, here I am with inquiries. Serious responses only.

_{[ What could this boy possibly be asking for?? Where is the best place to get ice cream? Hardly so. ]}

Has anyone has ever even attempted hacking into any confidential files that could be in the government's system that operates here? Alternatively, if anyone has ever attempted to assassinate the Queen?

_{[ Oh.. what.. ]}

If not, is there any place on this goddamn planet that serves coffee? Decent coffee. Every place here is a shit hole.

_{[ That's it. No thanks for your time or anything. ]}

Comments

[pubertytwice]

So you're somebody of great importance.. or you did something very bad.

_{[ Oh? Is that a smile? Why, yes it is. Five's not the greatest socially, but he can usually detect when people have a good amount of talent and intellect.. which can be extremely useful. ]}

I don't suppose you're a coffee person? Or prefer something a little stronger? I'd enjoy talking in person.

[distort]

[ that gets a laugh, one without any particular warmth in it. ]

I think you are a little younger than what I usually look for in a coffee date.

1/2

[pubertytwice]

_{[ oh........... right. ]}

1/2

[pubertytwice]

I wouldn't call any one on one interactions I have with any person a date. More like a casual meeting among similar people.
_{[ Bold of him to call her similar, but he also thinks he's a person of great importance and has also done.. many bad things. ]}

[distort]

You think we are similar?

[ honestly, she has probably never sounded or looked more amused than this since she ended up here. maybe it's that, more than anything else, that decides it for her. ]

Alright. If you have found your decent coffee, I will meet with you. Mon loulou.

[pubertytwice]

I only really know of one place, but that's because my brother swears up and down it has the best coffee around, and the more I hear it, the more I start to believe it.

_{[ Yeah, okay. He's just going to give Widowmaker the directions to McDenny's, the perfect place for two snipers to meet. ]}

See you in a few, madamoiselle.

_{[ His French pronunciation is surprisingly impressive. ]}

[distort]

[ Acceptable pronunciation aside, McDenny's, really. She is already regretting this.

But you know what, fine. She's there in about ten minutes, as blue and armored as she was on the video. She left her gun somewhere safe (with extreme reluctance), but isn't quite unarmed. Not that she expects to need any weapons to meet with a child, but it's habit. And speaking of the kid, she glances around to see if she's made it first. Hopefully not, she really doesn't intend to wait around for him. ]

( PERMA-ACTION. )

[pubertytwice]

<sub>[ A part of Five wants to just appear out of thin air to show off a little, but he can already tell that Widowmaker isn't someone he should spook without warning especially when they hardly know each other.

He is there on time. Actually, he's been waiting. It's easy to move quickly when you're good at jumping through space. Five is completely disarmed as well even if he came to this place with his sniper rifle. It's easier to disappear without the weight of a gun if need be.

He's sitting at a booth, hands folded neatly at the table. He's already got his coffee which is.. well, It's decent, okay. But that's an indicator he's been waiting. ]</sub>

I almost expected you to not show up, but I'm glad you did. I'm a little curious as to why. Someone like you seems like she might have a busy schedule.

[distort]

[ There. Her pale eyes light upon him like a hawk snapping up prey, and a moment later she slides into the booth across from him. He is, honestly, just as short as expected. ]

Perhaps I am curious too, hmm?

[ She's been thinking of him as a child, but perhaps there is more to it after all, as suggested. He certainly acts like no child she's ever met. Either way, it's been enough to stir her to interest. She nods at the coffee. ]

Is it worth it?

[pubertytwice]

_{[ He knows she is referring to his beverage, but he's too cocky to not say something else. It's his kind of humor, after all. ]}

Meeting me in person? Absolutely. I try not to waste anyone's time. It's a valuable thing, after all.
The coffee? Not so much.

So, am I going to have to ask a bunch of questions to ask what your whole deal is or are you just going to tell me?

_{[ He doesn't blame Widow for being skeptical and hesitant to explain herself. They are just acquaintances, after all. ]}

I don't mind it when people play hard to get— riddles and games are fun— but you should know that I always win at these things, so it might be pointless.

_{[ This shithead. ]}

[distort]

[ Ha, very funny. Her eyes narrow just slightly at the willful misunderstanding, which, again, seems not quite childlike. How odd.

She leans back in her seat as he goes on, though, the picture of ease. ]

I think you will find I am no lonely heart, bursting at the seams to tell my story to any willing ear. In fact, perhaps I will not even answer questions honestly, or at all. I see nothing in it for me.

[ She is, though, pretty fuckin broke. Her attention flicks briefly to a waitress as she passes by, then away again without flagging her down. Coffee is probably not in the budget today. ]

[pubertytwice]

<sub>[ Good thing his brother has no decency. Klaus was basically rolling in the Chroma-dough, and as much as Five doesn't want to rely on him, it is beneficial to have someone morally loose in the family. How the tables have turned. Five isn't funding his drug habit anymore and instead Klaus is funding Five's caffeine addiction.

In any case, he knows all about isolation. He's not one to freely give out his information either, but mostly cause it's a pain in the ass to explain. ]</sub>

Well. You must be at least a little curious about me.. otherwise you wouldn't have met up here. It's only proper we both exchange information about ourselves, whether truthful or not.

Trying to figure out what is truth is part of the fun, after all.

_{[ Five is just as curious as to why she is blue of all colors.. as Widowmaker is probably curious with how it is she's talking to a teenager who seems to be incredibly mature. ]}

Should I start?

[distort]

[ She is definitely curious about him — but equal parts curious and unwilling to admit it. So she only props her chin in her hand and cocks an eyebrow. Bluntly, because yes he should start: ] Why is a child speaking on even terms with adults?

[ He could just be a pretty smart, really cocky kid, true, but there has to be more to this. ]

[pubertytwice]

Wish I knew which "child" you're referring to.
_{[ oh wait.. ]}

You know, it hasn't been too long that I age regressed back to this body. Sorry. Sometimes shit I say doesn't make sense to people who don't understand.

_{[ There's your first clue. ]}

[distort]

[ He is just way too smug about this. She really wishes there'd been a way to satisfy her curiosity less directly, but who has time? Her eyes narrow just slightly. ]

I see. [ Age regression. Kinda sounds like something Talon would fuck with, so, makes sense to her. ] And how old are you?

[pubertytwice]

Glad you asked.
I'm 58.

_{[ IT'S NICE!! FOR PEOPLE TO RECOGNIZE THIS!! Widowmaker even gets a smile. Or.. something like it. It's a bit shit-eating. ]}

[distort]

[ She favors him with a slow and extremely skeptical once-over, replaying that bit to herself about truthful or not. But this would be a bizarre thing to lie about, so mustn't it be true? ]

A very good hairline for 58, monsieur. [ Hey, at least he's apparently not mon loulou anymore. ]

[pubertytwice]

Time travel can be a bitch sometimes.
_{[ He's not too happy about looking like this, but.. look, another clue. ]}

Thanks.

[distort]

[ She thinks, briefly, of that zippy little irritation — she has something to do with time travel, Widow thinks. Not in the same way, from the sound of it, but apparently time can be tricky. So she just nods, willing to accept that too.

With a gesture at him: ] And this, it is permanent?

[ All this ... youthfulness. ]

[pubertytwice]

For now? Yes. Previously, I was working with an employer who promised me a properly aged body if I worked in their management. They are very.. technical, you could say, and time is their specialty.

Before I worked in management, however, I worked in their corrections department, which is how I learned how to shoot targets.

_{[ A pause. ]}

Not like.. paper targets. Living targets.

[distort]

[ Now there is information that relates to and interests her. There's a spark of it in her eye as she shifts just slightly, leaning in a fraction. ]

Good. There isn't much to be learned from paper targets. [ One slender brow cocks. ] How good are you?

[pubertytwice]

Well, not to brag, but they called me the best of the best.

_{[ okay, yeah, he's totally bragging.. ]}

My contract was only five years and in that span of time, I assassinated hundreds.

_{[ It's kind of amazing how casually he talks about this. ]}

I mean, no wonder that promoted me into management even after I broke the contract. I'm just that good.

[distort]

[ Okay, yeah, definitely interested. She even smiles a little, sharp and hard. ]

Quality over quantity, monsieur.

[ But most importantly, with amusement curling up one edge of that smile: ] But the real question is, can those little arms still hold a rifle? [ A huff of derision. ] Or maybe you must content yourself with pistols.

[pubertytwice]

Oh, yes. Just fine. I can do what I need to with either, but I prefer a rifle. However, do you know what else comes in handy when you need to be stealthy?

_{[ Suddenly, with a small woosh sound, Five disappears and reappears in the seat next to Widowmaker. Look, he has a shit-eating grin himself. ]}

It's convenient.

[distort]

[ Her smile vanishes almost as quickly as he had, but unlike him, it doesn't reappear. She starts very slightly, then treats him to the first genuine display of emotion so far: annoyance. ]

Ugh. [ She leans away, bracing her forehead against fingertips, as if to ward off and incoming headache. ] I hate teleporters.