Karkat Vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mutantblood) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica2019-08-28 12:41 am
mutantblood) wrote in prismatica2019-08-28 12:41 am
[ TEXT ]
UN: carcinoGeneticist
[ It would be no exaggeration to say that this message had been in progress for at least a day. Not for the sake of complexity, but because the author was too frustrated to want to do more than keysmash his handy-dandy new device as well as its screen would allow. It wasn't as if the locals hadn't been as helpful as they could, but a lack of control and a healthy dose of confusion made for an especially cranky troll. And this troll is a cranky little creature by default. ]
I DID NOT CONSENT TO BEING SWEPT THE FUCK AWAY AND DUNKED INTO SOME BULLSHIT PSYCHEDELIC NEON NIGHTMARE.
WHICH LOCAL ASSHAT DO I NEED TO HISS AND SPIT AT TO GET SOME *ACTUAL* GODDAMN ANSWERS AROUND HERE?
AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE OF THAT FROND-FUCKING SPIRITUALITY CRAP.
FEED ME SOME COLD, HARD FACTS.
OR I RIOT. AND THAT'S NOT A THREAT.
IT'S A PROMISE.
[ It would be no exaggeration to say that this message had been in progress for at least a day. Not for the sake of complexity, but because the author was too frustrated to want to do more than keysmash his handy-dandy new device as well as its screen would allow. It wasn't as if the locals hadn't been as helpful as they could, but a lack of control and a healthy dose of confusion made for an especially cranky troll. And this troll is a cranky little creature by default. ]
I DID NOT CONSENT TO BEING SWEPT THE FUCK AWAY AND DUNKED INTO SOME BULLSHIT PSYCHEDELIC NEON NIGHTMARE.
WHICH LOCAL ASSHAT DO I NEED TO HISS AND SPIT AT TO GET SOME *ACTUAL* GODDAMN ANSWERS AROUND HERE?
AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE OF THAT FROND-FUCKING SPIRITUALITY CRAP.
FEED ME SOME COLD, HARD FACTS.
OR I RIOT. AND THAT'S NOT A THREAT.
IT'S A PROMISE.
no subject
FINE. CONSIDER THIS COMPROMISE:
ONE QUESTION.
HOW DO I DELETE THIS GODFORSAKEN PROGRAM?
no subject
you cant
you know what else i cant do?
find an alternate timeline
have you seen anyone else around here?
no subject
THAT'S JUST FUCKING PEACHY.
I KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU CAN'T DO STRIDER.
READ.
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE WHERE THE HELL I EVEN AM?
ASIDE OBVIOUSLY THE BASIC SHIT LIKE THE NAME.
DUMB SURFACE LEVEL INFORMATION EVEN A WIGGLER COULD COMPREHEND.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY FAMILIAR.
SEE? I ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION.
BECAUSE I HAVE ACTUAL CONVERSATIONAL ETIQUETTE.
NOW ANSWER MINE. YOU IMPOLITE FUCK.
no subject
im actually impressed
good thing you said it was sarcasm though i wouldnt have got that otherwise
wow chill
i can read im reading all the stuff youre saying and answering all the questions i got answers for
not to mention making you a cool riot poster which you didnt say thank you for
i dont know where we are past surface shit i just got here too
we got cucked out of our prize and thats all i know
ive been searching for a way out but the best i can do is fuck around a little bit here with time
plus technically in the order you asked it
your question that you want me to answer is "see?"
im goin to re offer to take you to that doctor
they can get the stick out of your ass for free too i bet
no subject
AND NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU BLUNT-TOOTHED, HORNLESS HUSKS CAN INSIST OTHERWISE.
BECAUSE I HAVE HARNESSED THE HUMAN SARCASM.
EAT SHIT.
[ He's a little proud of himself for that. Just a little. ]
YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME FROM UNNECESSARY CONVERSATIONAL SUFFERING BY JUST *SAYING* YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
ALSO THAT STICK IS CALLED A TORSO PILLAR AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD GROW ONE.
ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE POSTER.
EVEN IF IT'S GOING TO BE DUMB AND ILLEGIBLE ANYWAY.
I feel like you're giving me perfect reasons to use these icons. Thank you.
speaking of extraterrestrials and how much you talk
okay so i met this uber science dude that says that humans could do extraterrestrial stuff too which is true we went to the moon and idk like a russian space station that wasn't as cool as ours and considering ours was predominantly less russian i guess its by default not the same
but yeah hes his own alien
you dont gotta be the alien alone anymore cause i got taken somewhere that is extra but also terrestrial
that makes me an extraterrestrial too
[[They have so much in common. Karkat should be proud of himself that was top tier sarcasm.]]
well i dont know a lot i know we have to hold hands and sing kumbaya around campfires or we fucking die but thats all and i dont even know if that happens to godtiers but im more worried about you
you have sharp claws how are you goin to hold hands with people?
haha torso pillar
i hate how not fucking wrong your translations into my language are
see not so hard
youre welcome
its just first version anyway we can crayon jam out a few others
we got time since i dont think were getting back to that platform any time soon
i got told they dont even know why were here
The ESP is real.
BUT FUCKING DUH DAVE YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
I'M AN ALIEN.
IT'S A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE.
AND MY PERSPECTIVE IS THAT I CAN'T WRAP MY SPONGE AROUND HOW YOUR MISERABLE RACE WAS ABLE TO THRIVE ON YOUR PLANET.
NO. OUR PLANET.
I'M STILL PISSED OFF ABOUT THAT BY THE WAY.
EVEN IF SOME HUMANS WERE ACTUALLY HALF-ASS TOLERABLE.
[ How should he even go about pronouncing these words? Russ-eye-ann? Kum-buyer? This language is a nightmare. ]
WITH MY GRASPERS.
HONESTLY THE THOUGHT OF ACTUALLY NEEDING TO GET COSY WITH YOUR SQUISHY EXCUSE FOR CHITIN IS MAKING MY ABDOMINAL NOODLES CHURN.
NOT YOU IN PARTICULAR I MEAN HUMANS IN GENERAL.
AND OF COURSE IT'S NOT WRONG THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
I GOT LINKED A THREAD WITH SOME DECENT INFORMATION.
CONSIDERING YOU'RE CLEARLY CRAWLING THROUGH MY POSTS MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ IT INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING MY CAPABILITIES IN FRONT OF STRANGERS.
YOU GLOBE FONDLING SHITLORD.
no subject
i can start adding troll in front of words if that helps
cant help what we amoebaed out of on a planet
dont make it so hospitable if you didnt want us there
you cant help you were hatched i cant help that i was shat out of space
were both aliens now and we shouldnt fight about the little things karkat
oh right graspers
i shouldve thought of the graspers
[[He really hopes that those are hands. It sounds enough like hands that he's going to sleep comfortably knowing it's probably hands and there aren't some sort of Chuck Norris grasping devices hiding under an unexposed beard.]]
its cool i remember what part chitin is and its skin for us and ngl my skin is pretty damn squishy so i get it
[[Senpai noticed him and his squishy skin.]]
whatever bro
i got you
you can hold my hand and vomit
i probably would too if i had to hold my hand
or if you need to ill hold your hair while you vomit i think that still counts
yeah i saw
i just wanted to know how many dilchforks we were going to need
thats the swiss doctor i was talking to you about
shes got like pastries and shit but from my limited memory on food most of that is made with sugar so dont get drunk and pass out in front of the doctor lady ok?
even if thats probably the best place to pass out
no subject
WHETHER THEY'RE TROLL OR HUMAN OR ANYTHING.
IN FACT JUST SHUT UP AND DO EVERYONE A FAVOR.
ALSO YOU ALWAYS WERE AN ALIEN.
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE HOT SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU THRIVED ON A PLANET THAT WAS NEVER MEANT FOR YOU.
ALSO THAT MOON ISN'T YOURS EITHER.
[ To the relief of everyone; graspers are, in fact, hands. There is no vague alien anatomy there. ]
I WILL CALL IT FLESH AND THAT IS MY FINAL OFFER.
DOES HOLDING MY ARM OUT SO THAT I CAN KEEP YOU A REASONABLE DISTANCE AWAY FROM ME COUNT?
I HOPE IT DOES. THAT WOULD BE PERFECT.
BUT WITH THE UNIVERSE'S TENDENCY TO KICK ME IN THE FANGS WHILST I'M PRONE I AM GOING TO ASSUME NOT.
NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THE VISCERAL FUCKING HATRED I FEEL AT THE PHRASE DILCHFORK.
NEVER SAY IT AGAIN AND KINDLY CHEW OFF YOUR OWN TONGUE FOR EVER SPEAKING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I'LL WAIT FOR HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU TO GET THE JOB DONE WITH YOUR STUPIDLY FLAT TEETH.
I WONT GET FUCKED UP ON HUMAN CONFECTIONERIES IN FRONT OF THE DOCTOR.
1/2
[[He knows Karkat cares. It's just time to fuck with his best friend ever who is totally his friend and not the single person who turns his head any time he walks by.]]
karkat youre going to break my heart
do you know what happens when human males get heartbroken?
hearts are the one in our chest that beat shit like blood instead of ass those are fists
haha youre salty as fuck about that for real
its not anyones since its blown up but yeah we shouldve paid you rent
we could have given you lessons on being badass as payment
ok you know what
flesh
i mean it sounds like an erotica novel but damn im down
nah man i think that actually works too
as long as you remember to call me in the morning im a sensitive guy
im good tho
thanks for the suggestion man
i appreciate it
ok good
or anywhere else cause we dont know what shit does to you here ive only really seen human food
like youre a loud fucking pain in my ass
but youd probably whine less if you werent sick so id rather that
2/2
ps
plus i think itd suck in general if you got sick so...
[[Sooooooooooooooooooo.]]
whatever
dont do it
no subject
AVOID SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T
ACTUALLY CONTROL.
JUST FOR YOU I WILL CONFRONT FATE AND SPIT IN ITS EYES.
AND AVOID SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNAVOIDABLE.
THIS IS HUMAN SARCASM AGAIN.
no subject
see
you forgot to say no homo
now its just truth and idk karkat
no ones ever spit in the eye of fate for me or avoided the completely unavoidable
like ill give my big bro the whole meteor thing but this is...
this is *REAL* bro hours
how can i not be a loyal subscriber to the litany of loving lexicon youre throwin on out there for me to catch in my faithful arms?
its ok man theyre not limes
i wont drop a single one
full fuckin bromo