[ TEXT ]

[mutantblood]

UN: carcinoGeneticist

[ It would be no exaggeration to say that this message had been in progress for at least a day. Not for the sake of complexity, but because the author was too frustrated to want to do more than keysmash his handy-dandy new device as well as its screen would allow. It wasn't as if the locals hadn't been as helpful as they could, but a lack of control and a healthy dose of confusion made for an especially cranky troll. And this troll is a cranky little creature by default. ]

I DID NOT CONSENT TO BEING SWEPT THE FUCK AWAY AND DUNKED INTO SOME BULLSHIT PSYCHEDELIC NEON NIGHTMARE.
WHICH LOCAL ASSHAT DO I NEED TO HISS AND SPIT AT TO GET SOME *ACTUAL* GODDAMN ANSWERS AROUND HERE?

AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE OF THAT FROND-FUCKING SPIRITUALITY CRAP.
FEED ME SOME COLD, HARD FACTS.
OR I RIOT. AND THAT'S NOT A THREAT.
IT'S A PROMISE.

Comments

[Text]

[itsknighttime]

[[Holy. Shit.
Karkat is here, but he's concerned he may have some sort of Earth-type disease that made him wait entire minutes let alone a day to actually scream at everyone.

But holy shit.]]

dont you fuckin tease me vantas
we better be rioting
i got eyes on tiki torches at least
do we need a pitchfork? or pitchforks?
should we disperse them so it looks like more pointed objects or are we just goin to fuck with locals?
what kind of riot is this?
peaceful but looks like it isnt or are we going full fledged anarchy?
most importantly will there be lunch served?
wait
scratch pitchforks lets bring 9 inch dildos and shirts that say no homo so we can get the drop on the confused
not with the dildos but with our message

[Text]

[mutantblood]

[ Nooooo. Why this? Why Dave, of all people? Well... It could be worse. He gets along fine with this particular human, but clearly there will be no straight answers here today. ]

THIS IS ALREADY ANARCHY, STRIDER.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?
WHY ARE YOU TAINTING MY POST WITH YOUR INANE WORD VOMIT?
WHY DID YOU NOT ANSWER A SINGLE QUESTION I ASKED?

CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF AND GET OFF OF MY POST.
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE HELPFUL THEN GO BACK TO PROBING YOUR NUG FOR SIGNS OF INTELLIGENT LIFE.

THERE ISN'T ANY, BY THE WAY.
YOUR SPONGE IS A LOST CAUSE.
JUST LIKE THIS CONVERSATION.

[Text]

[itsknighttime]

ok cool
im glad youre here though
ttyl bro

[text]

[sleepinglotus]

[That sure is some colorful language going on there.]

You're very angry for something that is entirely out of our control.

[text]

[mutantblood]

EXACTLY.
DOESN'T THAT PISS YOU OFF?
YOU *SHOULD* BE FUCKING LIVID.

[ Karkat could absolutely rant a rainbow with all of the bells and whistles. ]

[sleepinglotus]

Well, I'm not too happy about being pulled away from an important mission back home, but from what I understand whenever we are returned it will be exactly when we "left".

Beyond that, I don't see anyone we can really fight against for our freedom here.

[cadeuces]

Well, in the interest of stopping or at least slowing a riot, let me forward you to an informational post someone made not too long ago.

It's about as straight-forward and no-nonsense as can be, so perhaps that will help.

Needless to say, no one consented and the people here were just as baffled as we were, so there isn't much of anyone to complain to. The universe, I suppose.

[TEXT]

[mutantblood]

[ Oh. That... Was a serious answer. Karkat has certainly lost some wind from his sails. Not that he's unappreciative, but the whiplash of all of this ill-directed anger having nowhere to go was a tad jarring at first. ]

THIS... IS ACTUALLY HELPFUL.
THANK FUCK *SOMEBODY* KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING AROUND HERE INSTEAD OF SPOUTING SMARTASSEY ALL OVER MY POST.
THIS IS A DOMAIN OF RATIONALITY, NOT A RECEPTACLE FOR EVERYONE'S JERKOFF MORAL DISCOURSE.

I'M FINE WITH THAT. AS FINE AS I CAN BE, ANYWAY.
I'LL FIGHT THE GODDAMN ETHER IF I HAVE TO.
PAGING THE ABSOLUTE SLIMESTAIN OF A GOD THAT RULES THIS DOMAIN TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THEM.
OR SOMETHING.

[cadeuces]

( Yes it was; apologies for taking the wind from his sails, though! She is absolutely muffling a laugh on the other side of the device to his reply. )

I'm glad to hear it; if you had any further questions I can do my best to answer.
I have been here about six months now, myself, and it's changed quite a bit from when we'd arrived.
Our presence has certainly had a positive impact on things like the plant life and the market's produce numbers from crops.

Please be sure to let me know if you hear back; I'd like a word with them myself!

I didn't introduce myself, I'm sorry. My name is Angela. I'm a doctor and was one of the first to arrive here.

un: 1stQadrMargaFan

[wearingguess]

Alas, it seems that the local asshats do not really understand it any better than we do. All of us are in the same boat!

Anyway, please tell me more about your riot. How many of you are there?

[TEXT]

[mutantblood]

I HATE IT.
I'VE BEEN GIVEN ENOUGH INFORMATION TO DAMPEN MY RAGE BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THIS ENTIRE CLUSTERFUCK OF A SITUATION ANY MORE REASONABLE.

TWO INCLUDING ME.
BUT THE SECOND ATTENDEE IS A TOOL, SO PROBABLY JUST ME.
NOT THAT I CAN'T BRING THIS ENTIRE SOCIETY TO ITS KNEES BY MYSELF ANYWAY.

text; un: oniichan

[immature]

a riot huh
just you?

[TEXT]

[mutantblood]

NO. NOT JUST ME, SMARTASS.
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A GROWING INTEREST PERTAINING TO TEARING SHIT UP AROUND HERE.

WE HAVE SIGNS. I THINK.
SO OBVIOUSLY THINGS ARE GETTING SERIOUS.

[Text]

[deathboss]

hey

hey i feel you but super more importantly

how do you write with large letters

im still trying to understand this system

[Text]

[mutantblood]

IT'S THE BUTTON ON THE LEFT.
LOOKS LIKE AN ARROW.
THANKFULLY THE KEYBOARD LAYOUTS BETWEEN MY LANGUAGE AND YOURS SEEMS TO BE UNIVERSAL SO I DON'T HAVE TO ENDURE TRYING TO HOPELESSLY FUMBLE WITH THE TECHNOLOGY.
UNLIKE YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

un: hummingbird

[jailbirds]

the fuck kinda answers do you want
you didn't ask any goddamn questions

[TEXT]

[mutantblood]

WELL SOMEBODY MANAGED TO EXTRAPOLATE WHAT ANSWERS I NEEDED.
SO THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.
IT'S PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS IF YOU ASK ME.

ALSO I ASKED ONE QUESTION WITH THE IMPLICATION OF MORE.
I KNOW I NEED TO TAKE SHIT SLOW FOR YOUR WITHERED SPONGES.
ONE LAYER OF THE FIGURATIVE GRUBCAKE AT A TIME.
IT'S CALLED BEING POLITE.

un: JUNKRAT | gently whispers an apology

[steeltraps]

DUNNO BOUT U M8 BUT
A RIOT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT MOR FUN 2 ME

BUT HERES THE THNG M8
THESE MOONKNIGHTS DONT MESS ROUND
UR PROBABLY ALREADY ON A LIST HAHAHA

shh no i love this boy ♥

[mutantblood]

GOOD.
I HOPE THE LIST IS OF THE TOP TEN CITIZENS OF MOONFUCK CITY THAT CAN AND *WILL* WRECK THEIR SHIT.

AND I AM WILLING TO SELFLESSLY SACRIFICE THE BOUNDLESS JOY THAT IS OOZING OUT OF MY CHITIN FROM THE MERE THOUGHT OF A RIOT.
BUT ONLY IF THE RULERS TAKE ONE DAMN SECOND TO RISE FROM THEIR THRONE OF DICKS TO EDUCATE ME.

text.

[kesi]

Few if any of us consented to being spirited away to this realm im afraid. (•︵•)

of course if youve not yet found the answers you seek would it not be wise to list your specific inquiries ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )? though i rather doubt you would succeed in this riot on your own

and I believe youve left your capitalization key on. °Д°

[mutantblood]

NO SHIT.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THESE ALIENS HAVE SPIKED YOUR SOPOR WITH TO BE SO PLACID ABOUT EVERYTHING.
BUT HERE WE ARE.

SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME OUT OF THEIR DAY TO SHOVE A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE UNDER MY NUB TO READ.
SO I GUESS MY QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED FOR NOW BUT I'M NO LESS PISSED AND READY TO RIOT.

ALSO YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR THE ATROCITIES I AM CAPABLE OF.
I'M A GODDAMN PLANET RAVAGER BY BLOOD AND THIS SHITHOLE IS LUCKY THAT I'M EVEN REMOTELY MERCIFUL.

NO I DIDN'T. I'M YELLING.
IT'S INTENTIONAL.

Txt

[givemewings]

A riot might be beneficial.

You should see what happens.

Re: Txt

[mutantblood]

RIGHT???
WHY HAS NOBODY THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE?

CLEARLY THE REASON I'M HERE IS TO WHIP YOU WIGGLERS INTO SHAPE SO WE CAN CLAIM THIS PLANET BY FORCE.
TRUST ME. I'M A PROFESSIONAL AT FUCKING THINGS OVER.

[foolishjustice]

I'm afraid nobody knows anything concrete about why we're here, though I can provide plenty of theories.

The most likely situation is that the locals have lost the ability to produce Chroma, after a battle against a malevolent god 200 years ago.

Since Chroma is a sort of life force, the planet is dying without it, and the more benevolent gods most likely had to look to other species to find people who still had the potential to produce it.

[mutantblood]

RIGHT. CHROMA.
AT LEAST SOME OF YOU ARE ACTUALLY BEING CONSISTENT WITH THE SHIT YOU'RE SPOUTING.
EVEN IF IT SOUNDS FAKE AND DUMB.

I'M NOT EXACTLY THE EXPERT ON BENEVOLENCE BUT WHAT THE FUCK?
GRUBNAPPING IS A BENEVOLENT ACT NOW???

THIS PLANET IS A NIGHTMARE.