Audio then Video | UN: oceangem

[riptidequeen]

[SO, she got that whole sex education thing done and dusted. Now she's trying to figure out the device a bit more so at first it's audio.]

Okay so it's like this, and oh!

[Visuals now! Showing anyone who is watching this a woman who is. Well. Blue, literally she's the colour blue. She mutters under her breath something that sounds like "Oh like the video call" before turning her full attention to the device.

Now to ask an important question, especially after what things she has seen so far.]

... Is sex really that important here?

Comments

[riptidequeen]

[Blue is the least colourful of her kind.]

It's not important to me, just it seems that way around here.

Although good to know I won't miss anything then.

[whateternityis]

Physical contact's more the important thing - I think the locals're just trying to encourage a large return on your investment wherever they can. It's not to everyone's taste, though, and there's nothing wrong with that.

If you decide you want to see what all the fuss is about, I'm sure someone will be more than willing to help you out. But humans can get a bit hung up on sex in general, so don't worry if you don't see the point.

[riptidequeen]

I... Don't think I'll ever want to know what the fuss is about, but thanks for the warning about humans and them getting hanged by sex.

[That's not what he meant at all, Lapis!!!]

[whateternityis]

That's not... that'd be a different thing. You're new to metaphor, aren't you. [She sounds a bit like some of the demons who've popped up to the surface briefly and tried to get by on minimal context.

Granted, Crowley only manages as well as he does thanks to six millennia of immersion.]

'Hung up on' isn't quite the same as 'obsessed with,' but it can get there depending on the person. 'Hanged' is... pretty specifically used when someone dies in a particular way.

[riptidequeen]

[Or she's a huge troll, who knows? Lapis isn't saying.]

I was stuck in a mirror for over five thousand years, but I know what metaphor is.

I do get what you mean though, sir.

[whateternityis]

Huh. Not often I actually meet anyone close to my age.

[riptidequeen]

I didn't think humans lived that long.

[whateternityis]

They don't. But I never said I was human, did I?

[riptidequeen]

But... You look human?

[She doesn't have the most experience with humans but come on!]

[whateternityis]

Being human-shaped is the most practical on a daily basis. Besides, you look human, other than the bit where you're blue.

[riptidequeen]

Most Gems have, you know, human-y shapes. And what's wrong with blue?

[whateternityis]

Nothing. Just if a human's blue, they're either wearing quite a lot of makeup or they're dead.

[riptidequeen]

... I should be glad that I've not seen much of either of those kinds of humans then.

[whateternityis]

The dead ones don't tend to be terribly interesting, no.

So what's a Gem when it's at home, then?

[riptidequeen]

They're whatever they want to be.

[Somewhere a rimshot is heard.]

[whateternityis]

[Crowley snorts.] Suppose I walked into that one.

Serious question, though. The 'sentient rock' bit's implied, but I've never heard of that happening before.

[riptidequeen]

[Lapis makes an "mmhmm" sound.]

Well, now you have.

[whateternityis]

Can't blame a body for wondering how that works, can you?

[riptidequeen]

I can't, you're right on that. But it just kind of does? Work I mean.

[whateternityis]

Good that it does, then. Why humanoid shapes, though? It's a big universe.

[riptidequeen]

[She shrugs.]

I'm the wrong Gem to ask that, I'm not that old.

[whateternityis]

Well, if the right one's not here to ask, you could always take a guess. [Not like he's any authority on this. Sentient rocks weren't in any design plans Crowley ever heard about, which practically guarantees they're from different worlds.]

[riptidequeen]

Well as you said before, it's practical. I guess that's how the first Gem thought too.

[She assumes the first Gem is White Diamond, but she doesn't dare say so out loud.]

[whateternityis]

Could be. In my case, it's more practical because I'm among humans more often than not.

[The other demons aren't as good at faking it. Angels who are not Aziraphale manage slightly better than the average demon. Aziraphale's possibly better at blending in than Crowley is. He at least has a thing that looks like a job, and eats regularly.]

[riptidequeen]

So... You're not a human but around humans a lot? Weird.

[Yup, that's all she has to say about that.]